Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)
Christmas with the Joker (1992)
Mark Hamill: The Joker
Photos
Quotes
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The Joker : [singing] Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away!
[he puts a star on the Christmas tree; then it takes off through the roof with a concealed rocket engine, Joker riding it]
The Joker : [singing] Crashing through the roof, in a one-horse open tree, busting out I go, laughing all the way!
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[Joker has three hostages tied up, and introduces them on his special as "The Awful Lawful Family."]
The Joker : Meet... Daddy Lawful!
[He takes out the candy cane gagging Gordon]
Commissioner James Gordon : YOU DISEASED MANIAC! I'LL...!
The Joker : [sticks the cane back in] Looks like someone needs to teach Daddy some manners. And here's Mommy Lawful!
[takes out the cane gagging Summer]
Summer Gleeson : HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP US...!
The Joker : [sticks it back in] Ho, ho, ho, isn't she jolly.
[He comes to Bullock, dressed in an oversized baby outfit]
The Joker : And here we have little Baby Lawful!
[tickles his chin]
The Joker : Coochie-coochie coo!
[takes out the cane]
Det. Harvey Bullock : WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'LL RIP YOUR...!
[Joker puts the cane back in]
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Bruce Wayne : [to Robin] We have to find Joker.
The Joker : [popping out from behind a curtain] I'll save you the trouble.
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The Joker : Merry Christmas, Batman. I'm so glad you could join us.
Batman : What's your game, Joker?
The Joker : Oh, just a little holiday entertainment, Batman. I'm sure all the folks at home will enjoy sharing this special occasion. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, live from the top of Mount Gotham, the death of Batman!
[a cannon begins firing at Batman and Robin]
The Joker : When you care enough to send the very blast.
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The Joker : "It's A Wonderful Life" will not be seen this year. In its place is the following: Joker here. Greetings, Gotham, and merry Christmas. I hope you're watching, Batman. This one's for you.
[laughs maniacally]
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[last lines]
The Joker : [wearing a straightjacket, singing] Don we now our gay apparel, fa-la-la, fa-la-la, la-la-laaaa!
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The Joker : [as Batman chases him through the factory] Run, run as fast as you can, you'll not catch me I'm the Jokerman!
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The Joker : Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got awaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!
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The Joker : Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away.
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The Joker : [using his hand as a ventriloquist dummy] Hi, I'm Laffy, Joker's helpful little elf. I'm here to present Batman with a very special Christmas surprise.
Robin : Uh-oh, here it comes.
The Joker : Gee, Joker, it sure is nice of you to get Bat Breath a present.
[as himself]
The Joker : Ho, ho, I'm just that kind of guy.
[as Laffy]
The Joker : It's an exact replica of Gotham City.
[as himself]
The Joker : It has everything, even trains and bridges.
[as Laffy]
The Joker : Bridges? I just love blowing up bridges.
[as himself]
The Joker : Well, in that case, let's go live to Donner and Blitzen at the Presidents' Bridge. Greetings, Donner. How about singing us a merry tune while you blow up the bridge?
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The Joker : [planning to blow up a bridge] Oh, look, Laffy, Mommy Lawful has something to say.
[as Laffy, his "ventriloquist dummy"]
The Joker : What's up, Mommy?
Summer Gleeson : My mother's on that train.
The Joker : Your mother? Well, that's different, then.
[as Laffy]
The Joker : Yeah. It'll be even more exciting when it crashes.
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The Joker : Well, I wonder what Mommy Lawful is getting for Christmas. Hoo hoo hoo, the suspense is killing me. Is it? Can it be? Oh, yes, it's a Betty Blooper doll. And what do Betty Blooper dolls do? Why, you wind them up, and they wreak havoc on Gotham City.
[maniacal laughter]
Robin : I haven't seen one of those dolls in years.
Batman : They don't make dolls like that anymore. Not since the LaffCo Toy Factory went out of business fourteen years ago.
