"The Vests" finds the squad room unenthusiastic about the new brand of bullet-proof vests, despite Levitt demonstrating the lighter model, easier to move about in. Inspector Luger, in his public relations capacity, wants background information on everyone at the 12th, and after a short interview with Dietrich winds up with enough material for a novel (Luger: "I asked you if you had any pets?" Dietrich: "ant farm!"). Don Calfa (sixth of seven) plays eccentric inventor Arthur Thompson, who wields a gun when his latest patent goes unanswered, for a machine called Tan Alert, which is supposed to determine the proper skin tone if it doesn't electrocute you first. Warren Munson (first of two) plays John Norvis, whose Inventrex company charges each client a fee of $2100 to 'market' each product...except that nothing ever hits the market. A city block is evacuated, as someone with two rifles has barricaded himself inside an apartment building. The dangerous assailant turns out to be little old lady Dorothy St. Clair (Alice Hirson), a recent resident from the local psychiatric center, wanted for non payment of rent, claiming to have a deer rifle and sawed off shotgun (Dorothy: "they threatened me!" Wojo: "what did you say you were gonna blow our heads off for?" Dorothy: "it seemed to me what you wanted to hear!"). This incident concludes with each member of the squad room permanently removing his vest, handing them over to the departing Levitt (Luger: "so, decided to live dangerously huh? Bully for you...that's the way to go...why if you put on those things, it's just the same as admitting to all that scum and killers out in the street that you're scared of 'em...that you'd rather hide behind some sissy little apron instead of going' down like a real cop!" Dietrich: "Levitt!").
2 Reviews
Inspector Luger, Please Come Home!
gary-6465920 November 2020
It's obvious by this time in this absolutely classic comedy that things are not what they used to be. Long gone are Chano, Mrs Miller (admittedly not the funniest), Fish and wife Bernadine (and even their adopted kids), Yemana... The squad room looks barren and is getting weak on its foundations. Inspector Luger has lost his brief place as regular co-star but each time he comes back as "special guest star" his character is the highlight. The usual guest-of-the-week or two are having less impact/originality. Wojo has matured out of his idiosyncracies and is way less colorful, even bland with his hairpiece. Recurrent themes like Harris's struggles with his writing and movie sidelines, and Levitt's insecurity about being a part-time or makeshift detective colleague, seem to have been going on for years and are way past their use-by date.
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