Barney Miller (TV Series) The Desk (1979) User Reviews

Jeff Corey and Don Calfa

[kevinolzak · 9/10 · 18 June 2014]

"The Desk" features Hollywood veteran Jeff Corey (second of two) as Amish farmer Caleb Webber, mugged by 'scalawags' on a shopping spree to the big city: "sizing up the import of a hay clipper" (Harris: "oh, been meaning to price one of them myself!"). In his fifth of seven appearances, Don Calfa plays Gilbert Lesco, a master bank robber with a long criminal history, whose attempt to rob a liquor store fails due to his use of a toy ray gun in place of the real thing (Barney: "early 21st century, I'd say!"). He figures that Perry Mason would be perfect for his attorney (Lesco: "you heard of him, he was great!" Wojo: "I think he retired!" Lesco: "yeah, I guess after the accident!" referring to Raymond Burr's Ironside character). At first, Barney believes his condition might be the result of drugs (Lesco: "no thanks!"), but it soon becomes apparent that he has been subjected to a migdolotomy performed by Dr. Milton Prentice (Fred Sadoff, fourth of six), to curb his criminal tendencies (Dietrich: "a migdolotomy is a recent neurological technique...it's a more sophisticated version of a lobotomy...electric current is introduced through holes in the skull to cauterize and destroy nerve cells in the limbic region of the brain...this enables the surgeon to alter or control one or more aspects of behavior"). Making his fourth appearance as slimeball lawyer Arnold Ripner (fifth of seven overall) is Alex Henteloff, assuming that Lesco, his client of eight years, must be 'slumming' if he tried to knock over a simple liquor store (Ripner: "what is it with you people? The last time I came here my client was dead, this time he's a vegetable!" Barney: "I thought you said you called an attorney!"). Once he discovers the gruesome circumstances surrounding Lesco's current situation, he wastes no time trying to build up a case for prosecution, refuted by Dr. Prentice ("you know Captain, I'm not some evil madman bent on destroying people's souls" Barney: "no one is judging you" Prentice: "very funny!"). Barney notes that Ripner's change of heart could be described as 'noble' (Ripner: "watch it, that could be slander!"). Caleb Webber offers to walk Lesco back to his hotel, after a few words with Captain Miller (Webber: "guess our remedies ain't quite progressed like yours!" Barney: "afraid you caught our society on a bad day!" Webber: "no need to apologize, just stay the hell away from us!").

Best show of the series

[zorbear · 9/10 · 15 May 2009]

This is my favorite episode of the series because of outstanding performances by Jeff Corey and Don Calfa. Although both actors have worked steadily in television and movies throughout their careers, I had never paid a lot of attention to them until I saw "The Desk". After seeing this show, I made it a point to watch for either actor in everything I viewed. The acting is that strong.

Don Calfa had previously played a re-occurring criminal character on the show. In this episode, a judge had ordered him lobotomized to cure his social dysfunction. Unfortunately, although the operation left him a barely-functioning idiot, he still tried to commit crimes. Jeff's performance as a brain-dead, ex-master criminal is worth watching all by itself. It reminds me of some of Tim Conway's best stuff.

Jeff Corey plays an Amish farmer who comes to town to buy equipment and gets mugged. He had to walk around until he found a police station, since he couldn't use a phone or a taxi. Then, after filing a report, he has to wait at the station until he can find a way to get word "home" so that someone could come get him. This gives his character the opportunity to interact with the regular cast. Jeff's characters often get to give a good rant, and this episode is no exception. At the end, Jeff takes the Don Calfa character home with him, after giving a very succinct critique of our society that is a thing of beauty to watch.

Don Calfa was great

[jamietransnyc · 9/10 · 8 December 2020]

Those who like old Cult Classics will recognize Don Calfa from the film "Return of the Living Dead". He had a starring role in that.

In this episode he had perhaps the saddest line in all Barney Miller Episodes: "I am not unhappy. I am not happy either. I am just........ here." (Said while explaining how he feels after an experimental brain surgery left him mentally disabled.)