Barney Miller (TV Series)
Ambush (1975)
Abe Vigoda: Det. Phil Fish
Photos
Quotes
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Detective Kelly : Hey, Fish, what happened to Yemana ? Was he cleaning his gun or something ?
Det. Phil Fish : He was ambushed ?
Detective Kelly : Ambushed ? Just because he's a Japanese ? Boy, some guys always are trying to get even.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Just some guy who don't like cops.
Detective Kelly : You know, there's more and more of that. You know, people use to like cops. Back in the old days, we use to be George Murphy, Phil Regan, Pat O'Brien. Nowadays, we're Al Pacino, Richard Roundtree. No wonder, we're getting ambushed
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Capt. Barney Miller : I'd be bored without the challenges. Without the pressures. Without the problems Ah, not for me. Maybe when I retire. So they asked me to recommend someone else .
Det. Phil Fish : Is it someone in this room ?
Capt. Barney Miller : I told them you were the most experienced officer I knew .
Det. Phil Fish : Did you told them how old I was ?
Capt. Barney Miller : I told them you were extremely mature
Det. Phil Fish : So you lied.
Capt. Barney Miller : I told them you were facing enforced retirement and it would be shameful waste of a valuable piece of manpower
Det. Phil Fish : Florida, huh ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Look, think about it. It'd be the perfect job for you
Det. Phil Fish : Don't you think I would be bored ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Boredom is a state of mind.
Det. Phil Fish : Well... it's better than doing nothing at all. May not be such a bad idea.
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Det. Phil Fish : There are no palm trees, but it does have a certain charm.
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Emil Ditka : When do I get my piece back ?
Capt. Barney Miller : As soon as it's checked out
Emil Ditka : When do I talk to my lawyer ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : There's no need to call a lawyer, Mr. Ditka. Your not being charged with a crime.
Emil Ditka : Oh, don't give me that. Members of my group have been hassled before.
Capt. Barney Miller : What group would that be ?
Emil Ditka : The Staten Island Shoot Club and Personal Armament League
Capt. Barney Miller : I'm not, uh, familiar with that group?
Emil Ditka : Well, you will be and when you need us, we'll be there.
Capt. Barney Miller : It's good to know we have support in some quarters
Det. Phil Fish : Wonderful
Emil Ditka : Of course, you got support. You think, the league don't know what you guys are going through? You got friends out there. See, we keep a low profile for security reasons.
Capt. Barney Miller : How many, uh , members are there in your league ?
Emil Ditka : So far ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Round figures ?
Emil Ditka : Let's see, uh... there's me and Charlie and Larry and a new guy Sid something
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Det. Phil Fish : Are you going to do that all day ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : You take care of your body , it will take care of you
Det. Phil Fish : The way I figure at this point, we don't owe each other anything
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Officer Kogan : Morning mail
Det. Phil Fish : Almost 5 pm
Officer Kogan : It came early today
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Great, eight hours later, it will be morning mail again
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Capt. Barney Miller : What happened ?
Det. Phil Fish : Their interested. I told them I'd think about it.
Capt. Barney Miller : Good .
Det. Phil Fish : Did they tell you why they need a new chief of police ?
Capt. Barney Miller : The old chief passed away.
Det. Phil Fish : He died of boredom... . He was sitting behind a desk one day, in his office, when a guy who was bored came in and shot him
Det. Phil Fish : Life is a gamble at best wherever you are
Det. Phil Fish : I don't know Barney, I think I'd miss all this: the excitement, the challenge. A man has to have something to keep him out of the house
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Det. Phil Fish : I don't want a dog Bernice, we just got the couch covered... What do you need company for, you're not a young woman anymore.
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Detective Kelly : Give me your phone number ?... Yeah... And the address ? Okay, we'll send somebody right over. Thank you. We got a Burglary on 17th Street. Some broad got her apartment rifled.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Hey. That could be another set-up. Come on Kelly.
Detective Kelly : Uh. Wh-what do mean, "Come on Kelly ?". I just got here . I'm still unpacking. I'm trying to get acclimatized, you know ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Hey, come on, Harris and Chano had their shot, it's our turn ?
Detective Kelly : Yeah, well listen,I don't want to muscle in on another guy's collar.
Det. Phil Fish : I'll go
Detective Kelly : Yeah, yeah, sure, go . You got seniority
Capt. Barney Miller : You'd better verify that call
Detective Kelly : Yeah, yeah, good idea, Fish, why don't you verify that call ?
[turns to Wojo]
Detective Kelly : I mean, come on, will you, hey ? That's a rookie trick, muscle in on another guy's collar. Back in the old days, cops didn't do things like that.
Det. Phil Fish : Hello ? Madam ? This is Detective Fish at the Twelfth Precinct. Did you just place a call to report a burglary in your apartment ? We'll send someone right over. You did ? Thank you. We're glad to hear about that . We'll send someone right over ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Legitimate ?
Det. Phil Fish : She lost everything.
Capt. Barney Miller : Hold it. Wojo, take Kelly with you.
Detective Kelly : Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. I'm glad to go. You don't want to walk into an ambush. You got a pad ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, I got a pad.
Detective Kelly : All right, let's mount up
Capt. Barney Miller : Keep your eyes open , you hear ?
Det. Phil Fish : Yeah, don't worry.