The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)
Andy's English Valet (1963)
Andy Griffith: Andy Taylor
Photos
Quotes
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Sheriff Andy Taylor : [Standing in the middle of the room in his shirt and boxers] No, sir! You hand 'em over! I can put on my own pants!
Malcolm Merriweather : [holding Andy's pants] But, sir, the Colonel always...
Sheriff Andy Taylor : Never mind the Colonel! Gimme my pants!
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Malcolm Merriweather : [rides his bike over to Andy] Eh, excuse me, Constable. Eh, you *are* the constable, aren't you? I mean, I saw the car with the thingamajig on top and, uh, I took it for granted you might be in the way of being a constable.
Andy Taylor : Well, yeah, I'm the constable. Actually, I'm the sheriff.
Malcolm Merriweather : [looks impressed] Are ya really? Ain't that wonderful, eh? He-e-ey! Might I ask a question?
Andy Taylor : Sure. What is it?
Malcolm Merriweather : Uh, where could I find a constable?
Andy Taylor : Well, I *am* the constable. Sheriff and constable kinda the same thing.
Malcolm Merriweather : [says with amazement] Get away!
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Andy Taylor : The fact is, it's a terrible thing, the High Sheriff having to tie his own tie. Worst of all, Opie's back there having to eat eggs without faces on them! You call that living correctly?
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Barney Fife : [privately to Andy, noting Malcolm's British accent] I don't think he's from around here. Fact is, I'd say he's from...
[looks at Malcolm]
Barney Fife : ... somewhere's else.
Andy Taylor : [withholding the fact he met Malcolm earlier] You think so?
Barney Fife : He's a troublemaker from another country!
Andy Taylor : Do you really think so?
Barney Fife : Yeah, he's a foreigner, all right. Maybe Canada. Whadda you think?
Andy Taylor : You know where he just might be from?
Barney Fife : Hmm?
Andy Taylor : Heckmondwike, England.
[Barney gives Andy a look]
Andy Taylor : Ask him!
Barney Fife : Where you from, fella?
Malcolm Merriweather : Heckmondwike, England.
[Barney gives Andy a look of curiosity. Andy shrugs like it was a lucky guess]
