- Archie Bunker: [Edith tells Archie to close his eyes; she has a surprise for him. He sits at the dining room table and shuts his eyes. Edith and Beverly come out of the kitchen; Beverly moves behind him, presses up against him, covers his closed eyes with his hands, then kisses him on top of his head, then removes his hands. Archie then opens his eyes and sees Edith on the opposite side of the table. He then moves his head back and forth, feeling the breasts behind him] I got a rubbery feeling it's Beverly La Salle.
- Archie Bunker: Every man should be king of his castle. And in this here castle, I am the king.
- Edith Bunker: And I am the queen.
- Archie Bunker: [Concerning Beverly LaSalle] Well this king can only handle one queen at a time.
- Beverly Lasalle: I have the best dress-maker in town: Mr. Florence.
- Edith Bunker: Is he a man or a woman?
- Beverly Lasalle: Yes.
- Edith Bunker: Why don't you sit down?
- Beverly Lasalle: In this dress? Are you kidding?
- [Imitating Mae West]
- Beverly Lasalle: One false move and you'll have wall to wall foam rubber.
- Edith Bunker: [Archie comes home from work, announcing to Edith that he's home. Edith's hiding Beverly LaSalle in the kitchen] I got a surprise for ya!
- Archie Bunker: Are you cookin in your underwear again?