All in the Family (TV Series)

Archie and the Editorial (1972)

Carroll O'Connor: Archie Bunker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gloria Bunker-Stivic : Daddy, did you know that sixty-five percent of the people murdered in this country in the last ten years were killed by handguns?

  Archie Bunker : Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?

• [Archie is delivering en editorial on a local TV station] 

  Archie Bunker : [on TV]  Good evening, everybody. This here is Archie Bunker of 704 Hauser Street, veteran of the big war, speaking on behalf of guns for everybody. Now, question: what was the first thing that the Communists done when they took over Russia? Answer: gun control. And there's a lot of people in this country want to do the same thing to us here in a kind of conspiracy, see. You take your big international bankers, they want to - whaddya call - masticate the people of this here nation like puppets on the wing, and then when they get their guns, turn us over to the Commies.

  Edith Bunker : Oh, Archie, I'm glad they put you on a stool, you look taller sitting down.

  Archie Bunker : [on TV]  Now I want to talk about another thing that's on everybody's minds today, and that's your stick-ups and your skyjackings, and which, if that were up to me, I could end the skyjackings tomorrow.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : You could?

  Archie Bunker : [on TV]  All you gotta do is arm all your passengers. He ain't got no more moral superiority there, and he ain't gonna dare to pull out no rod. And then your airlines, they wouldn't have to search the passengers on the ground no more, they just pass out the pistols at the beginning of the trip, and they just pick them up at the end! Case closed.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : That's incredible, Arch.

• Gloria Bunker-Stivic : Daddy, how can you be against gun control with all the assassinations? Look at it, the Kennedys and Martin Luther King. And what about the shooting of Governor Wallace?

  Archie Bunker : I'm saying maybe Governor Wallace wouldn't have gotten shot if he had a rod in his mitt!

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : What?

  Archie Bunker : Because the Governor was there, he coulda shot first!

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Archie, what would he be doing walking around in a crowd with a gun?

  Archie Bunker : What was the other bum doing in the crowd with the gun?

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : That's ridiculous, Archie! You're talking about a human being who may be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

  Archie Bunker : Yes, and if that human being had a rod, then the other human being would be in the wheelchair!

• [Archie and Mike are arguing about gun control] 

  Archie Bunker : All I know is, I'm an American and it's my right to pack a rod!

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Bull!

  Archie Bunker : Whaddya mean, bull to the constitution?

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : It doesn't say that in the constitution, Arch, I'll prove it to you! I got a copy in my history book!

  Archie Bunker : Look it up! It's right there in your Second Amendment!

  Edith Bunker : Oh, no, Archie, that's the one that says "thou shalt not make any graven image."

  Archie Bunker : That ain't the Constitution Edith. What you says is the Gettysburg Address.

• Archie Bunker : Cars kill more people in this country than guns every year. Did you know that? I told them that on the TV too.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Archie, that's stupid. Drivers don't mean to kill people.

  Archie Bunker : Oh no? You ain't driven a cab yet, bud.

• Archie Bunker : Geez, I could get jollier welcomes down at the morgue.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Archie, you were only gone a couple of hours. What do you want, a 21-gun salute? I mean, would you stand up and cheer if it was me at the door?

  Archie Bunker : Well that depends, Meathead, on whether you was comin' in or goin' out.

• Archie Bunker : Everything's expensive nowadays. It's this inflation. Th money in this here country is sick.

  Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : Yeah, like the people who control it.

  Archie Bunker : Well, when you control some of it, I'll listen to your views.