The Addams Family (TV Series)

Fester's Punctured Romance (1964)

Carolyn Jones: Morticia Addams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Morticia Addams : Oh, Gomez, the most touching thing has happened.

  Gomez Addams : [romantically]  Your carnivorous plant put his tentacle around you again. Tish, I think you've been feeding them altogether too much hamburger.

• Miss Carver : [with utmost professional charm]  And don't tell me, that gentleman behind you is Uncle Fester. I know from the description I've received.

  Uncle Fester : [dreading a forced marriage]  You can't force me!

  Miss Carver : Oh, I never use force, just gentle persuasion. And sometimes in difficult cases I merely give a free sample and leave the prospect to think it over.

  Morticia Addams : Miss Carver! We don't countenance such behavior in this house.

  Miss Carver : Well, then I'll be happy to accept cash.

• Gomez Addams : Morticia, I must tell you: Uncle Fester is not himself.

  Morticia Addams : Oh, is that bad?

  Gomez Addams : [thinking]  Maybe not.

• Uncle Fester : [ready to post his love letter]  Do you think I ought to send a snapshot along?

  Morticia Addams : I believe so. How about that nice one the city took?

  Gomez Addams : The time you fell asleep on the park bench and they carried you off to the morgue by mistake.

• Uncle Fester : Well, under the circumstances, I... I though I'd take a bride.

  Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester, you just can't take a one, you're supposed to find your own.

  Gomez Addams : It's the sporting way, old boy.

  Morticia Addams : You'll be fighting the women off with clubs...

  Uncle Fester : Clubs?

  [things a moment] 

  Uncle Fester : Yeah... I think I'd like that...

• Uncle Fester : You wouldn't even let me fix that leak in the roof! And my finger fit it perfectly.

  Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester, I told you: that's my favorite leak.

• Gomez Addams : Someone at the door!

  Morticia Addams : Oh darling, it's Uncle Festers mail order bride.

  Uncle Fester : Ugly duckling!

• Morticia Addams : Dear Uncle Fester... I haven't seen him this happy since he blew up the guest house.

• Gomez : I wonder what Uncle Fester's bride will be like? He once went with a girl who looked like a walrus.

  Morticia : Darling, beauty isn't everything.

  Gomez : You're right. He's talking about moving after the wedding. He's found a home in a nice condemned section.

  Morticia : I wonder what their children will be like...

  Gomez : Doesn't matter about the boys, but I hope the girls look like Uncle Fester.