- Peter Dragon: A hundred thousand dollars and I get to see her nipple?
- Bernie Beckerman: Peter, for a hundred thousand dollars you can cram the camera up her ass for all I care.
- Peter Dragon: My foot - get up, Stuart - is gonna be so far up your ass, that a piece of my ass might actually be in your ass!
- Stuart Glazer: They wanna make me Head of Comedy.
- Peter Dragon: Head of Comedy? What do you know about comedy?
- Stuart Glazer: Nothing. But I'm gay.
- Peter Dragon: Rafkin. You just killed a man.
- Adam Rafkin: I'm sorry.
- Peter Dragon: No. No. That's fantastic! You did it. You're a producer now. You did it!
- Peter Dragon: Stuart, put your pants on and get the hell out of here.
- [to Bernie and Reagan]
- Peter Dragon: Hey, how many times do you think he heard that sentence, huh?
- Peter Dragon: Okay, Stuart, look, there is an enormous difference between movies and television. You know what that difference is?
- Stuart Glazer: No...
- Peter Dragon: Okay, let's take a look at my rolodex, okay? I'll be the movie, you be the TV rolodex. In my movie rolodex I have, eh, Sean Connery. Your TV rolodex? Shawn Wayans. Eh? Marlon Brando, Marlon Wayans. Alec Baldwin, Alec... eh... Wayans. There's probably one floating around, I don't know.
- Reagan Lauren Busch: [locked in her trailer] Holden Van Dorn is a big homo!
- Peter Dragon: [standing outside talking to the trailer door] Why do you think Holden's a homo? I mean, I know why I think Holden's a homo, but why do you think he's a homo?
- Reagan Lauren Busch: Peter, he couldn't even get it up during the love scene.
- Peter Dragon: Homo. Well, in his defense, eh, you know, it's acting, Reagan. So, maybe, you know, he's just acting he has an erection.
- Reagan Lauren Busch: Well I don't care what he's supposed to act like. I mean it's a common courtesy.
- Peter Dragon: What's your problem?
- Holden Van Dorn: Eh, I can't get... I can't get little Keanu to stand at attention.