- Orac: The idiosyncratic syntax of riddles interests me. They seem to depend for their effect on solecisms and grammatical discrepancies.
- Vila Restal: [totally confused] Eh?
- Orac: Do you have another riddle for me to analyze?
- Vila Restal: You'd only spoil it.
- Orac: I thought you liked riddles.
- Vila Restal: I do when I'm allowed to tell them properly. All you're interested in is the idiotic tin tax or something.
- Orac: That's very clever.
- Vila Restal: What is?
- Orac: For "idiosyncratic syntax" you substituted "idiotic tin tax". Yes, very good.
- Vila Restal: [brightening] Is it?
- Orac: Another one, please.
- Vila Restal: Right. What's the best cure for water on the brain?
- Orac: I don't know. What is the best cure for water on the brain?
- Vila Restal: A tap on the head.
- Orac: "A tap on the head." Yes, I see. In this instance the word "tap" has a double meaning, as in to strike something and as a device for controlling the release of fluid from a tank or pipe. The fluid referred to is water, therefore, "tap on the head" has two ambivalent meanings, one pertaining to the striking of the cranium...
- [Vila grabs his head in frustration]
- [Vila is teaching Orac riddles]
- Vila: No, Orac, you don't understand. I say "Where to space pilots leave their ships?" and you say, "I don't know, where do space pilots leave their ships?"
- Orac: And supposing I don't wish to know that?
- Vila: But you've got to say it or the riddle won't work.
- Orac: It is plainly nonsensical.
- Vila: Of course. That's the whole idea.
- Orac: I fail to see why I take part in a meaningless, illogical conversation. It doesn't make sense and is therefore a waste of time. I'm shutting down.
- Vila: Do it for me this once, Orac, please. Ready? Where do space pilots leave their ships?
- Orac: I don't know. Where do space pilots leave their ships?
- Vila: At parking meteors.
- [Vila laughs. Orac shuts off indignantly]
- Vila: Knock, knock.
- Orac: Who's there?
- Vila: Atch.
- Orac: Atch who?
- Vila: Sorry, I didn't know you had a cold.
- Orac: A cold what?
- Vila: No, not a cold what. Just a cold. You know, cold, chill.
- Orac: I am not subject to colds and chills. Some trace deposits on my anodizers perhaps, but I am quite capable of dealing with that myself.
- Vila: [giving up] Forget it. Go back to sleep.
- Orac: Is this another riddle?
- Vila: No.
- Orac: The idiosyncratic syntax of riddles interests me. They seem to depend for their effect on solecisms and grammatical discrepancies.
- Vila: [totally confused] Eh?
- Orac: Do you have another riddle for me to analyze?
- Vila: You'd only spoil it.
- Orac: I thought you liked riddles.
- Vila: I do when I'm allowed to tell them properly. All you're interested in is the idiotic tintax or something.
- Orac: That's very clever.
- Vila: What is?
- Orac: For idiosyncratic syntax you substituted idiotic tintax. Yes, very good.
- Vila: [brightening] Is it?
- Orac: Another one, please.
- Vila: Right. What's the best cure for water on the brain?
- Orac: I don't know. What is the best cure for water on the brain?
- Vila: A tap on the head.
- Orac: A tap on the head. Yes, I see. In this instance the word tap has a double meaning, as in to strike something and as a device for controlling the release of fluid from a tank or pipe. The fluid referred to is water, therefore, tap on the head has two ambivalent meanings, one pertaining to the striking of the cranium...
- [Vila grabs his head in frustration]