Postal (2007)

Daniel Boileau: Cooter

Quotes 

• Cooter : [Dude just walked into Bitch and Cooter having sex]  Oh, hey there, neighbor! Looks like I don't have to file that grievance after all, huh?

  [Grabs a bag of flour] 

  Cooter : You gotta find the wet spot!

  [laughs] 

• Cooter : [noticing the dog poo in Dude's yard]  Feces in the yard. That's a violation of trailer park ordinance #101-40.

  Dude : [to Dude's dog as it's eating the poop he's scraping off]  Stop eating your poop!

  Cooter : I'll add that to the list.

  Dude : Oh, the list? Oh, great! What else? What else you got on the list?

  Cooter : Ordinance #143-11; yesterday around lunchtime at noon. Now, I don't care what you two do in your own bedroom on your own time, but ordinance #143-11 says if I hear you doin' love making after 10 AM, I get to file grievance against your sorry ass which is exactly what I'm gonna do!

  Dude : Oh, oh, okay! Well, at least I wasn't boning my sister, you inbred hick! Oh, and for your information, hillbilly, I wasn't even here yesterday afternoon!

  Cooter : [chuckles]  Yeah?

  [There is a short pause as the Dude makes a mortified facial expression; realizing that his wife has been cheating on him again] 

  Dude : I hate this town...

  [walks away]