My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this movie gave me cancer anyway.
142 Reviews
Cheap old testament
TheLittleSongbird24 May 2018
Love animation to bits. It was a big part of my life as a child, especially Disney, Looney Tunes, Hanna Barbera and Tom and Jerry, and still love it as a young adult, whether it's film, television or cartoons. Actually appreciate it even more now, having more knowledge of the different animation styles and directors and what work went into them.
'Joshua and the Promised Land' looked terrible, the cover alone was unappetising, and the reviews and low rating lowered my expectations even more. Saw it anyway because the Old Testament stories interest me despite not being particularly religious and as said animation is still held in very high regard by me and would see anything animated regardless of animation style, studio or budget.
Even with the low expectations, 'Joshua and the Promised Land' turned out to be even worse than expected. Am usually very generous when it comes to animation, but there is a lot of bad ones out there and 'Joshua and the Promised Land' is for me and many others down there with the all-time worst.
First off the animation is hideous, down there with the worst of Video Brinquedo, Spark Plug Entertainment and Dingo Pictures as some of the all-time worst. Everything looks static and blocky, the colours are flat and lifeless, the characters look ugly and even creepy, the movements are just weirdly aimless (some of it like moving in slow motion) and attention to detail isn't there at all. The sound is bizarre and cheapens the already ill-fitting music.
Writing is juvenile, awkward-sounding and repetitive, children and adults alike will feel their intelligence levels being significantly lowered due to the excessive way the writing and storytelling insults it. The story is paper thin and tends to not go very far if anywhere, the very few times it's cohesive it is unbelievably stupid.
Characters are irritating and with not much development or personality, there is nothing here to allow one to like them let alone root for them. The voice acting has no emotion or energy, and the unintentional creepiness it has is really disconcerting.
Overall, extremely cheap and irredeemably awful even when judging it with an open fair mind and fairly low expectations. 1/10 Bethany Cox
'Joshua and the Promised Land' looked terrible, the cover alone was unappetising, and the reviews and low rating lowered my expectations even more. Saw it anyway because the Old Testament stories interest me despite not being particularly religious and as said animation is still held in very high regard by me and would see anything animated regardless of animation style, studio or budget.
Even with the low expectations, 'Joshua and the Promised Land' turned out to be even worse than expected. Am usually very generous when it comes to animation, but there is a lot of bad ones out there and 'Joshua and the Promised Land' is for me and many others down there with the all-time worst.
First off the animation is hideous, down there with the worst of Video Brinquedo, Spark Plug Entertainment and Dingo Pictures as some of the all-time worst. Everything looks static and blocky, the colours are flat and lifeless, the characters look ugly and even creepy, the movements are just weirdly aimless (some of it like moving in slow motion) and attention to detail isn't there at all. The sound is bizarre and cheapens the already ill-fitting music.
Writing is juvenile, awkward-sounding and repetitive, children and adults alike will feel their intelligence levels being significantly lowered due to the excessive way the writing and storytelling insults it. The story is paper thin and tends to not go very far if anywhere, the very few times it's cohesive it is unbelievably stupid.
Characters are irritating and with not much development or personality, there is nothing here to allow one to like them let alone root for them. The voice acting has no emotion or energy, and the unintentional creepiness it has is really disconcerting.
Overall, extremely cheap and irredeemably awful even when judging it with an open fair mind and fairly low expectations. 1/10 Bethany Cox
This Movie Caused the Great Depression
u-914007 March 2018
This movie is so incredibly bad, that it caused the Great Depression. After seeing this movie, people's faith in companies to provide quality products plummeted. This caused almost every business to go bankrupt, as no one was buying their products. People also lost faith in the banks, as they put so much money into this movie that they had no money to pay back the citizens. This threw the U.S economy into a downward spiral, and left the country in ruins. Overall, I would say that we burn all physical copies of the DVD to get rid of the memories of this tragic time period.
A 1/10 doesn't do justice for this atrocity
gtdunphy20 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is just.. it's so bad that a 1/10 can't wait even begin to do justice for it. First, the story is as generic as it gets. While the Bible story of the 40 years in the wilderness is a good story,
it ends up being ruined for reasons I will get to later. The REAL story ends up with Joshua's family torn apart by... honestly, I don't know what. It's incredibly predictable and as cookie cutter as family fights get. Next, the animation is absolutely disgusting. The backgrounds are either of no detail or just taken off of google images. The Character movement and character design constantly ends up clipping with something around it or in some cases, itself. And the characters themselves are just as bad, if not WORSE than the animation. The narrator is annoying, not funny, and just plain unnecessary. Moses sticks kind of well to how he was in the Bible admittedly, but why is he a rubber chimpanzee? Joshua is the typical coward who gets courage from
something (In this case, it's from trusting God), and Chris is his "Guardian Angel". I put that in very loose quotes, cause this thing is a creeper. And also, he made Joshua dream for 40 years, made him go in a sword fight, made him lead an army (TWICE), and acts like a pedophile the entire movie. Overall, the characters are either one-dimensional or not worth mentioning. Joshua and the promised land is just a mess. Generic story, disgusting animation, and NO likable characters aside from Moses. This movie is so bad that I would argue it deserves at LEAST a nomination for Worst Picture.
At least it made me laugh
ericstevenson3 November 2016
I guess it would be unfair for me to say that everything about this movie was awful, even though it was. It did entertain me with how utterly stupid it was! Still, it's a terrible movie and easily one of the worst animated films of all time. I admit to having forgotten about Joshua from the Bible. I guess this didn't want me to go back and read it. This movie features everyone as lions for some reason. It starts with a lion family in a modern setting arguing. Then, some angel or something teleports the lion Joshua to take on the persona of Joshua, Moses' disciple. I "think" that's what happens, but it's hard to understand.
The CGI in this is probably the worst I have ever seen in my entire life. The details are downright awful. There is absolutely no imagination in this film in the least. We keep seeing this pink animal thing wearing a bow tie. He then goes into the movie or something. I think this is authentic to what the Bible says, but it doesn't matter. The lip movements are horrendous as well. I can't even critique the voice acting because I was so distracted by how hideous this film looked. I only saw it because so many people on the Internet have reviewed it.
You know what? I'm glad I did! I was laughing so hard watching people make of this! Everything looks so terrible it's hard for me to even describe it. I can't say see it for yourself, unless you want to be amused by how dumb it is. The final enemies look like demons. I'm surprised TheMysteriousMrEnter hasn't looked into this. I think even the people at Wikipedia are too ashamed to have an article on it! This is obscure for a great reason. I'm surprised it has a rating as high as 3.7 here. Watch "The Gospel Of John" to see a truly wonderful Bible movie released just a year before. *
The CGI in this is probably the worst I have ever seen in my entire life. The details are downright awful. There is absolutely no imagination in this film in the least. We keep seeing this pink animal thing wearing a bow tie. He then goes into the movie or something. I think this is authentic to what the Bible says, but it doesn't matter. The lip movements are horrendous as well. I can't even critique the voice acting because I was so distracted by how hideous this film looked. I only saw it because so many people on the Internet have reviewed it.
You know what? I'm glad I did! I was laughing so hard watching people make of this! Everything looks so terrible it's hard for me to even describe it. I can't say see it for yourself, unless you want to be amused by how dumb it is. The final enemies look like demons. I'm surprised TheMysteriousMrEnter hasn't looked into this. I think even the people at Wikipedia are too ashamed to have an article on it! This is obscure for a great reason. I'm surprised it has a rating as high as 3.7 here. Watch "The Gospel Of John" to see a truly wonderful Bible movie released just a year before. *
SABERSPARK
ironlover-7891231 May 2018
The only reason why I watched this is because of Saberspark
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Golden Raspberry Awards: Too Bad
asmithspc27 August 2018
This movie tells the story of Joshua. It could've saved time and money by not doing it. I applaud the person who invented it for lowering the unemployment rate but I seriously wished that it hadn't been released. If a teacher ever needs to torture students this movie is ideal for it. And I mean ideal. Your students will never skip your class ever again. Just be prepared to have some memes made.
How Did This Get Approved As Is?
jeremycrimsonfox8 February 2020
No, seriously. The whole things looks like it was a unfinished rush job, or done by amateurs. Then again, even amateurs can do a somewhat better job than the people behind this film. The character models look unfinished, lacking fur textures and emotions. And the voice acting sounds lame and uninspiried, as the people doing the voices seem to be uninspired and doing this only for the sake of a paycheck. If anyone wants a good Bible movie for kids, ignore this and watch something like Prince of Egypt or one of the VeggieTales videos.
Joshua and the reason i ripped all my hair out
r-286835 March 2018
This movie was decent until i actually started watching it. This movie made me cry, and not because it was emotional, but because of not only the god awful, horrible, student film quality looking animations, but i was so sad about the 55 minutes of my life that i will never get back, that i am 90% sure that i contracted chronic depression. This movie's voice acting sounded like Gary Busey with a sinus infection. And what self-righteous 40 year old kindergarden student at the school of animation, thought to themselves, "Oh you know what would be clever? My last name is Lion, so lets make all the characters lions!" This movie looks like somebody decided to make lugaru into a movie and somehow used even worse quality character models than that. Overall this movie is the bane of my existance and i would rather chew gum i found on the bottom of a desk than watch it again.
Beautiful
connorwalton30 October 2018
Creepy
sarahthebaldifan3 October 2020
I had a good laugh
tacoslukewarm6 January 2019
so bad that its good
sonicdoesminecraft20 August 2019
Why Tho M8
t-1319611 April 2018
Movie
u-914008 March 2018
General relativity (GR, also known as the general theory of relativity or GTR) is the geometric theory of gravitation published by Albert Einstein in 1915 and the current description of gravitation in modern physics. General relativity has been described as the most beautiful of all existing physical theories. General relativity generalizes special relativity and Newton's law of universal gravitation, providing a unified description of gravity as a geometric property of space and time, or spacetime. In particular, the curvature of spacetime is directly related to the energy and momentum of whatever matter and radiation are present. The relation is specified by the Einstein field equations, a system of partial differential equations.
Some predictions of general relativity differ significantly from those of classical physics, especially concerning the passage of time, the geometry of space, the motion of bodies in free fall, and the propagation of light. Examples of such differences include gravitational time dilation, gravitational lensing, the gravitational redshift of light, and the gravitational time delay. The predictions of general relativity have been confirmed in all observations and experiments to date. Although general relativity is not the only relativistic theory of gravity, it is the simplest theory that is consistent with experimental data. However, unanswered questions remain, the most fundamental being how general relativity can be reconciled with the laws of quantum physics to produce a complete and self-consistent theory of quantum gravity.
Einstein's theory has important astrophysical implications. For example, it implies the existence of black holes-regions of space in which space and time are distorted in such a way that nothing, not even light, can escape-as an end-state for massive stars. There is ample evidence that the intense radiation emitted by certain kinds of astronomical objects is due to black holes; for example, microquasars and active galactic nuclei result from the presence of stellar black holes and supermassive black holes, respectively. The bending of light by gravity can lead to the phenomenon of gravitational lensing, in which multiple images of the same distant astronomical object are visible in the sky. General relativity also predicts the existence of gravitational waves, which have since been observed directly by physics collaboration LIGO. In addition, general relativity is the basis of current cosmological models of a consistently expanding universe.
Some predictions of general relativity differ significantly from those of classical physics, especially concerning the passage of time, the geometry of space, the motion of bodies in free fall, and the propagation of light. Examples of such differences include gravitational time dilation, gravitational lensing, the gravitational redshift of light, and the gravitational time delay. The predictions of general relativity have been confirmed in all observations and experiments to date. Although general relativity is not the only relativistic theory of gravity, it is the simplest theory that is consistent with experimental data. However, unanswered questions remain, the most fundamental being how general relativity can be reconciled with the laws of quantum physics to produce a complete and self-consistent theory of quantum gravity.
Einstein's theory has important astrophysical implications. For example, it implies the existence of black holes-regions of space in which space and time are distorted in such a way that nothing, not even light, can escape-as an end-state for massive stars. There is ample evidence that the intense radiation emitted by certain kinds of astronomical objects is due to black holes; for example, microquasars and active galactic nuclei result from the presence of stellar black holes and supermassive black holes, respectively. The bending of light by gravity can lead to the phenomenon of gravitational lensing, in which multiple images of the same distant astronomical object are visible in the sky. General relativity also predicts the existence of gravitational waves, which have since been observed directly by physics collaboration LIGO. In addition, general relativity is the basis of current cosmological models of a consistently expanding universe.
How to waste 50 minutes of your life
gtdunphy2 June 2018
Step 1: Go on YouTube/Get Joshua and the Promised land on DVD
Step 2: Watch the movie
Step 3: Cry for another 50 minutes because you wasted 50 minutes on this garbage
Step 4: Profit!
Tl;dr, Well that movie was 53 minutes of my life I'm never getting back..
Tl;dr, Well that movie was 53 minutes of my life I'm never getting back..
It doesn't even look like a children's movie
omundodomatheus1 March 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I'll show you why this movie doesn't look like a children's movie, there are scenes of violence, there is a scene that they kill a baby, and at the beginning it has a very wrong message, that when that purple junk that was at the beginning of the film, in the room, look at his room, wake up the girl, tell him to follow him without saying where he is going, and he goes, man, I don't know what happened to the kids who did the same thing as this guy did, I just know that they are dead now.
This cartoon is so bad.
o-0009628 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Oh my god! I accidentally heard from netizens on the Chinese mainland website "Bilibili" that the style and plot of this movie ca n't be described in words, but at first glance, it 's true. Why are the characters in it so much like lions? And don't even wear clothes. Even a lion, what about the tail? Even if it is a "lion hybrid", what about the "tail" in front? I will not tell the plot, in a word, it sucks.
this is just downright terrible...
troyblancke19 October 2019
So...i've not watched the whole movie cause it made me roll my eyes in the back of the skull. so this is what people call a... D U M P S T E R F I R E...i cannot stand this movie after 2 minutes and i turned it down...it burned my eyes.
Hmm...
rain_bow954 March 2019
Not the worst thing I ever seen...since I did end up finding something EVEN WORSE than this, but as a Baptist...even I would not show this to children in Sunday school...well, I'm assuming it was supposed to be meant for children (remembering the "adultry" line, and a certain deleted scene). Even if this whole movie was done by one guy for 4 years...within those 4 years there could have been some sort of improvement in this animation, but the ENTIRE MOVIE looks terrible from start to finish. The character designs are terrible, the backgrounds are terrible, the movements are "ugh", the voice acting is terrible and loud a lot of times (kept turning my damn tv down), the editing is terrible, and the story...the story is not terrible as it is based off one of the greatest Bible stories of all time, but it was executed very poorly. The Prince of Egypt is a way better Biblical animated movie to watch as it more kid-friendly, way better animated, and an even more expanded conflict that not only involved Moses freeing the Hebrews, but also meaning becoming his brother's enemy. Joshua is not actually in that movie, but it still pretty much gets its point across. "Joshua and the Promised Land" works for a punishment movie for bad children.
This movie gave my eyes cancer
zombielord-8063413 October 2018
I have cancer in my eyes but this made it worse. As a baby a kidnapper came and ripped out my teeth and tongue, so when my mom turned on this movie I couldn't tell her how much pain it gave me. I have no arms or legs, so I couldnt turn it off. My mother hit the loop button as she left my room. I was tuck watching this movie for 4 days without food or water. Since I have no arms or legs, I had to type this with a stick in my mouth. Thanks Obama.
-signed the seventh Otaku
-signed the seventh Otaku
Amazing, wonderfully crafted
gabrielmorley-896881 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Last December my mother sadly passed away because of cancer. I loved my mother so much and my heart broke after she died. I fell into a deep depression for the rest of December. I didn't even notice that it was Christmas as I was too sad to leave the house. This was until my also heartbroken father knocked on my door. I opened the door to find my father looking cheerier than ever. Needless to say I was incredibly confused. My dad pulled out a birthday present and handed it to me. He then walked away whistling happily. I didn't understand what had happened but I decided to open the gift. Inside I found a movie called Joshua and the promised land. I stared at the cover in disbelief. It was the most beautiful picture I had ever seen. It reminded me of the few art works that my mother had created before she died. My eyes started to well up with tears and before I knew it I had started crying. I slipped the disc into my DVD player and was almost instantly dumbfounded. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The animation was so beautifully crafted. The characters were so realistic and relatable. The voice acting was impeccable. The story was so amazing and reflected the bible perfectly. The horses were green. It was the greatest 50 minutes of my entire life and I couldn't stop crying for the next 2 hours after the movie had ended. It was then that I checked the calendar and realised that it was Christmas. I called up all my friends and family and quickly arranged a dinner at my place. I spent the next few hours creating a chicken roast for Christmas dinner and ate it with everyone I loved that night. It was the best goddamn chicken dinner I had ever had in my entire life. Black lions.
Fastest 50 minutes of my life
mackscott11 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Fantastic animation for its time and the music was inspiring. Really emotional. Shed a tear. However, the purple guy, that looked like a mutated offspring of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh, gave me minor cardiac arrests every time he made an appearance. Please take him out. I'm begging on my hands and knees. He had no importance. He was not in the bible. It would've been a 10/10 without him. Also, the flying head jump scare at the end was pretty disturbing. How did he get there? Convinced that this wasn't a dream and Joshua was actually on LSD
Overall, an emotional and biblically accurate masterpiece. I know it was accurate because I was with Moses at the time :) hes a cool guy ig.
I only found one thing in this
n-729858 March 2018
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