I Do, They Don't

The plot premise is pretty standard fare - a couple get married in Vegas and then have to tell their kids what's happened. Where it goes sour is scripting and acting. The adult actors cannot even act drunk in the Vegas scene, nor is their hangover believable in the morning after. The lines they deliver are unbelievable and forced. Some of the kid actors are actually far better than the adults.

The plot turns are all predictable and are basically taken from the Handbook of Average Made-for-TV Movies. It is a movie that makes you sit it through, frowning at the badness of the script, but holding promise of it getting better. But it never does.

This movie does not really promote kids to be nicer and have better attitudes, as a family movie should, and this wouldn't be considered family anyway because it has some things in it that children shouldn't be seeing. Not the best ABC Family film if you ask me. If there were less sexual themes in the movie, then maybe it would be better. Hollywood isn't doing anything to make a movie better by adding in sexual situations. There's really no reason for them. At least this is a TV movie. I wouldn't want to waste my money on this garbage by renting it. If you have other things to do other than watch this movie, please proceed to them.

I usually comment only on movies that I like, figuring "everyone to his/her own taste," but here I want to make an exception. The premise of this movie, which somehow seems to get lost in the shuffle, is that these two self-centered adults have a perfect right to go off to Las Vegas, get drunk, get married, and inflict incalculable suffering upon their respective broods of children. Even allowing for the culturally sanctioned inebriation, they have neither the courage nor the sense of responsibility to wake up the next morning and undo what they have set in motion. After all, "love" is all that's important, isn't it? To hell with everybody else. Whether or not things "work out in the end" is really not the point; in fact it's quite irrelevant. The point is that disrespect for others, especially if they are young persons, and especially if they are in a position of dependency, is made light of and thereby reinforced by this movie. There are far more innocuous behaviors these "parents" could have performed that would have brought down an army of social workers on their heads in a heartbeat.

with this ABC family attempt of the hit blockbuster "cheaper by the dozen" comes an obnoxious amount of corny dialogue, shallow plot lines, and cheesy comebacks. With about two good actors among many wanna-be's, this movie was a major disappointment. Its a Hollywood-wannabe ditto of an already bad plot. Then, because they needed a lot of actors, that meant that they'd probably be more lenient. So the acting wasn't five-star. The plot moved fairly fast, and the twists were bad and had horrible timing. The junction of characters and the "end relationships" were also too mushy and clichéd for me. Spare yourself and rent something better.

This so-so family movie is a fairly innocuous effort in a fairly standard mode -- a couple gets married on drunken impulse in Las Vegas, and their kids don't like it. Will love -- or a soundtrack of an Elvis impersonator singing "Viva Las Vegas" -- rule the day, or will family pressure ruin everything?

The hook for this movie is that the leads -- Josie Bissett and Rob Estes are married, and they are a cute-looking couple. Most of the worthwhile jokes are in the camera work by Michael Storey and editing by Drake Silliman. This being 2005, we have modern liberation: she is a minor celebrity, a cookie magnate. He likes to wear hats and sing karaoke versions of "Fever" -- Peggy Lee needn't worry.

If you never see this episodic movie, you probably won't have to explain why you missed it, but there's a lot worse crud out there.