The Wickeds

Well, the only thing that kept this movie from being rated a total flop, was one thing. That solitary thing being Mr. Ron Jeremy. Now, the movie itself was Atrocious, we just need to get that out of the way. From the poor camera work, and terrible music.....to the porno-esquire script, and terrible acting. Amidst all of this, Ron Jeremy thrives in true Gutman form. He and his slack-jawed sidekick, set off a world of zombie trouble over an absolutely ridiculous prop referred to as "The Amulet". To Make a long story short, watch this movie, but for nothing more than comedic value and if you have a free rental coupon (like I did). It's definitely not worth the price of admission. From special effects to soundtrack......this movie is garbage.

I don't even see a point in writing a good review for something this bad, so I will just rant...

This movie is so bad I only watched 15 minutes of the whole thing. Or even less, seeing as I did fast forward through the whole film.

It is awful. The acting was awful The script was awful. As were the editing, the camera operator, and so on. Even the sex scene was out of order. Until now I didn't think that was even possible. Possibly one or two of the zombies had good make-up. That's it when it comes to the good stuff.

I didn't expect a lot from it, but it didn't cross my mind that it could be this bad. That anything could be this bad. I can't believe someone actually made this. I feel mentally scarred for life now, it was so awful.

I would give this a minus rating if I could, but seeing that 1 is the lowest rating, I will have to settle for that...

Don't even think of watching this. Never, ever.

All I have to say is that this movie is THE BIGGEST PIECE OF CRAP EVER!!!!! All that needs to be said is that Ron Jeremy is in this film, and its not supposed to be a porn... therefore in my mind the caliber of this film was already decided when they cast him. Not saying he made it a bad movie... what I'm saying is that he was probably the only reasonably "well known" actor they could get to star in this movie. The reasons being: 1)Awful script 2)Terrible acting and last but certainly not least 3)Horrendous cheesy graphics!! Now if you really feel the need to waste $4 at a blockbuster, this movie is a perfect waste. I am now dumber after sitting through this flea on the dog that is Hollywood!

Now, let me begin by saying that i love cheap horror movies. Can't get enough of 'em. I adore "Plan 9 from Outer Space". I loved "Chopping Mall" and "I Dismember Mama". But this... abomination...

Shot on camcorder in a local graveyard and what seems to be someone's garden shed standing in for the requisite "Evil Dead" shack, this stars (and i use the word advisedly) porno legend Ron Jeremy and the local amateur dramatics society. When the Hedgehog of Sex puts in a movie's best performance, things ain't looking good.

Anyhow, the plot - such as it is - involves two cretinous gravediggers stealing an amulet from the body of a magician / vampire, who promptly rises from the grave to retrieve his filched property, and conjures a horde of zombies from the surrounding graves to help him besiege a shed full of dozy students in which said gravedigging thieves have taken refuge. Leaving aside the question of how a vampire summons zombies, what follows is some of the most inept stuff committed to film. The girl who is spuriously "possessed", gaining spooky eyes DRAWN ONTO HER EYELIDS had me paralysed with laughter rather than fear.

Worth viewing only for the hot brunette chick (Kelly Roth) and the awe-inspiring stunt sequence where a guy hangs and drops a whole 3 feet onto some straw. They even play it in slow motion for maximum devastating effect. This film may well be toxic: do not approach.

A group of kids decide to spend Halloween at a house in the countryside being used as a set for a low budget horror film next to a large cemetery where two gravediggers bring the dead back to life by stealing a piece of jewelry from a corpse. Okay, time for the pros and cons. The pros: Ron Jeremy. The (former?) porn star was the best thing in this film. He was the only actor who seemed comfortable in front of the camera, and he seemed to be the only one who didn't take everything too seriously. As a result, he managed to give the film it's only enjoyable moments. The cons: Ron Jeremy is the best thing in the film. That should tell you everything you need to know about the rest of the indistinguishable actors and actresses who spend the entire movie screaming or yelling at each other. It became a bit of a headache, which was made even more infuriating because there is not a bit of common sense in the film, i.e., why did Jeremy and his friend run to the house rather than going to their own truck. Why everyone just doesn't get the other car going. Plus, does there have to be a ghost too? If you can't get the zombie thing down, don't even thing about doing ghosts. Geez, Louise. Enough already!

Truth be known, I sought this film out. I saw a trailer for it before "The Revolting Dead." I hated "The Revolting Dead," which had the same plot about grave robbers being tormented by the returning dead, but I thought this film had to be better. Oddly enough, this film was better than "The Revolting Dead" thanks mainly to Ron Jeremy. (One final note, without meaning to, I have just seen Ron Jeremy in three out of the last four horror movies I saw. I guess there must be a law requiring him to appear in every horror movie under a certain budget. This performance was the best of the three.)