- Jimmy: So, Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
- Coach: Oh, really?
- Chazz: We're gonna dance to one song, and one song only: "Lady Humps" by the Blackeyed Peas. "What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? I'm a get you, get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps."
- Jimmy: [disgusted] I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps. I don't even know what that means.
- Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative...
- Jimmy: No, it's not, it's gross...
- Chazz: ...It gets the people going!
- Chazz: [to Jimmy's voice mail] If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I'd go as Robin. That's how much you mean to me...
- Chazz: I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!
- Chazz: [while trying to cut off the rope tied on his feet using one of his skate blades] Whoever invented rope was a real a-hole!
- Fairchild Van Waldenberg: Nothing breaks up a team faster than...
- Stranz Van Waldenberg: Herpes! Uh... jealousy.
- Sports Anchor: [Referring to their medals] And how heavy is that gold around your necks?
- Fairchild Van Waldenberg: Scott, this may be solid gold, but to us it's lighter than air, because dreams never weigh you down.
- Stranz Van Waldenberg: No. Dreams are in your sleep.
- Fairchild Van Waldenberg: Two men skating together? And in our division, no less! Why, Stranz? Why is God singling us out to the greatest suffering the world has ever known?
- Stranz Van Waldenberg: I don't know, sis; those two are just a couple of freaks.
- Fairchild Van Waldenberg: Yeah, and the media loves freaks.
- Hector: [to Jimmy after he's told him of a loophole in the rules of competitive figure skating that will allow him to skate again] Oh, I'm still going to kill you someday!
- [nods and walks away]
- Chazz: I don't want to close my eyes, don't want to fall asleep cause I miss you Jimmy, and I don't wanna miss a thing.
- Chazz: And that's why I was a sex addict because no one ever loved me, but I learned something here today, that ice it doesn't belong in here
- [pointing to heart]
- Chazz: it belongs out there, out on the ice, in an ice rink. I never had a father okay, but I don't care because now I've got a brother
- [grabs Jimmy]
- Chazz: , this is my brother
- [grabs Katie]
- Chazz: and this is my brothers new girlfriend and she is not a whore. I'm in a lot of pain I think I'm gonna barf.
- Jimmy: Chazz, Chazz they gotta get you to a hospital.
- Chazz: What, no and miss the smell of sweet gold not on your life.
- [Chazz and Jimmy have tied for the Gold Medal in Men's Singles]
- Darren MacElroy: You're fired.
- Coach: What? I got him a Gold Medal.
- Darren MacElroy: No, you got him half a Gold Medal. If I wanted him to share, I would have gotten him a brother.
- Chazz: Hey, MacElroy, was that your routine or a performance of Cirque de So Lame? Besides, you're too late; they already handed out the girls' medals this morning.
- Jimmy: Shut up, Michaels. That was textbook execution. Same scores I beat you with in Oslo.
- Chazz: I was on quaaludes, I don't even REMEMBER Oslo.
- Co-Anchor: [about Chazz] The only skater to win four national championships and an adult film award.
- Chazz: [drunk while performing in "Grublets On Ice"] Hey! Hey, you little forest creatures! None of you sons of bitches try to be heroes!
- Chazz: [drunk while performing in "Grublets On Ice"] I just threw up in here, people. That's the reality. Just another layer to the legend. I am nothing but a human onion! In fact, we all a... Ugh, encore!
- [begins throwing up again]
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What was the official certification given to Les rois du patin (2007) in Japan?
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