Musafir (2004)

Anil Kapoor: Lucky

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Quotes 

• Billa : [Movie's opening scene]  In a village 50 miles away, when a kid refrains from sleeping, his mother has to threaten him that you either go to sleep else Gabbar will arrive. Yet if the kid doesn't agree, he'd definitely ask Gabbar that did you wanna play foot games with Thakur that you simply chopped off his hands and let him wear that shawl so stylishly. You should have bumped him off then and there itself. Neither would he have called Jai and Veeru to Ramgarh nor would they play Holi with Basanti or bang you hard in the movie's climax

  [laughing] 

  Billa : . The problem with Hindi movies is that the villain is always shown as a clown. That sing song Dr. Dang, the biggest asshole of all. And Mogambo, idiot was always delighted at everything. But this ain't a film hotshot, this is life. One bullet, your brain will vacate the top floor forever. The ditch behind will measure a couple of centimetres and the face will become Mr. India. I've often heard that watching death approaching gives a flashback of the entire life into the eyes. Does a flashback appear in those buttons of yours ?

  Lucky : [Replying sarcastically in exhaustion]  Not life, just the flashback of the previous four days.

• Lukka : [Walking over to tease Anil Kapoor]  Still regretting you didn't get a smooch ? It's alright I can understand.

  Lucky : [Irritated]  You're back ? Take your drink and get going man.

  Lukka : Dude you're a strange case. This morning you tried throwing me out of my own house. And now you're doing the same out of my own bar.

  Lucky : [Amazed]  This is your bar ?

  Lukka : Yeap. Isn't it strange everytime to fulfill your thirst you land at my place.

  Lucky : [Smiling sarcastically]  Cool.

  Lukka : [laughing maniacally]  Who, my wife ?

  Lucky : Yeah obviously, and your bar too.

  Lukka : But both are just high maintenance liabilities. One is a place never free of disturbances and one's someone who never tires of creating one.

  Lucky : You've got so many men at your disposal.

  Lukka : That's the biggest liability of all, there are JUST TOO MANY men.

  Lucky : Then I guess nobody can solve your problem boss.

  Lukka : So are you sitting passing time ? Get rid of my wife, I'll take care of the bar.

  Lucky : [In an angry tone]  You're trying to point fingers again ?

  Lukka : Nope. I am giving you a hand. Get rid of my wife, I'll pay you your fees.

  [Looking at at a furiously confused Anil Kapoor] 

  Lukka : What, haven't you killed someone before ?

  Lucky : Should I begin with you ?

  Lukka : What will you get in return !

  Lucky : Why don't you kill her yourself ?

  Lukka : She knows it, so does everyone else, that one day or the other I'll definitely give it a try. She'll trust you better than me.

  Lucky : [Picking his suitcase]  Everyday, at least a hundred people die in Goa. Why aren't you one of them !

  [Leaves] 

• Lucky : [Receiving a call from Sanjay Dutt in his hotel room]  Hello ?

  Billa : Papa I've reached home safely. Papa I'm fine.

  [Referring to himself in third person and shown chasing his defaulting debtor in his limousine] 

  Billa : You should've given a courtesy call to Papa, he was getting worried

  [laughs maniacally] 

  Billa : . Met Wacko ?

  Lucky : Yeah. That lame scum has a lot of itch in him.

  Billa : He suffered from that itch coz I scratched him. Just wanted to clarify whether the metal is still hot or got corroded with time.

  Lucky : [In an irritated tone]  Listen up Billa. Neither are you the Thakur of Ramgarh nor am I a Jai or a Veeru. If you try messing things up just once more, you wouldn't need a Gabbar to chop your hands off.

  Billa : [In a delightful glee]  Your destiny is on vacation for the time being, death is looming on your head. Yet you're talking as if life is still hot on your bed ! This very style of yours has Billa cheering for you darling. Go over to 9 Bar, tonight. There won't be any ruckus.

• Inspector Tiger : You know, American scientists have recently discovered that chocolate and sex give equivalent amount of pleasure. The only difference is for one you need to take off the wrapper, for the other you want one on

  [referring to condoms] 

  Inspector Tiger : nowadays.

  [Offers Anil Kapoor a chocolate] 

  Inspector Tiger : Want to have a chocolate ?

  Lucky : No thanks. You see, all my life I've been told that neither should you accept anything sweet from strangers nor give them a lift. Who knows in which corner of the world you'll be found lying dead.

  [Heads towards his car] 

  Inspector Tiger : Very true.

  [On Anil Kapoor's car window just as he's about to leave] 

  Inspector Tiger : . Goa is infested with millions of travellers every year. If any random one of them goes "missing", nobody gives a fuck. Since you're in Goa, enjoy the seashore and the scenery alongside it. If you'll go viewing more, you yourself would go off the view, forever.