Harland Williams credited as playing...
Russell
- Russell: Check it out guy, he's the alpha male of the store... chicks always go after the alpha male, they're like lions... kings of the desert. And you, you're just a little tiny fieldmouse dangling in the teeth of the lion while he's banging your chick. Oh wait a minute... boxboy, you're like the little hairy nutsack on the little hairy fieldmouse swinging back and forth while he's banging your chick...
- Zack: [on radio] You're metaphors are magical, but shut the hell up! please?
- Russell: [on radio] Roger... just going back and forth hairy calahari style in and out with his big...
- Russell: Oh yeah, that picture goes up on the wall she slides into the sack faster than a singed Koala bear looking for an all night burn center.
- Russell: Think about it guys, we could be working over there at Maxi-Mart and that place really sucks. Pass me the chips there, eight balls.
- [Iqbal passes a bulk size bag of chips]
- Lon: Plus, I hear they make you wear those house-arrest ankle bracelet things, so they know where you are all the time and if you leave the main floor, you get a little shocker.
- [Lon blows a party kazoo]
- Russell: True. I knew a guy in upper management, man, went crazy. Strapped one of those things around his hairy ballsack, ran out in the parking lot and blew a three dollar Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.
- Iqbal: Ids-kay, ids-kay.
- Russell: Knocked the little Korean kid right out of shopping basket.