Steven Rau credited as playing...
Diner #1
- Hobbit Lover: Hey man.
- Elias: [Puts on Mooby's hat] Welcome to Mooby's, may I take your order?
- Hobbit Lover: Yeah um, let's see... Give me one udderly delicious Moo-ilk shake, Skinny Calf and a, order of onion rings. Thanks.
- Elias: [Typing into register. To himself:] "One ring to rule them all."
- Hobbit Lover: [Surprised] "One ring to find them."
- Randal Graves: [Eavesdropping] Oh Jesus.
- Elias: "One ring to bring them all."
- Hobbit Lover: "And in the darkness bind them!"
- Elias: [Hi-5's the Hobbit Lover] Yes! How many times?
- Hobbit Lover: Umm, three for 'Fellowship', two for 'Towers', *four* for 'Return'.
- Elias: [Showing off] Five for return.
- Hobbit Lover: Dude.
- Randal Graves: Okay, look. There's only one 'Return', okay, and it ain't of 'The King', it's of 'The Jedi'.
- Hobbit Lover: [to Elias] Oh, Star Wars geek.
- Randal Graves: Oh I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
- Elias: [to Hobbit Lover] You'll have to excuse him. He's not 'down' with the trilogy.
- Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy you fucking morons.
- Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Mannequin Skywalker so much, right?
- [Robotic genstures and monotone, imitating Anakin Skywalker]
- Hobbit Lover: Danger, danger, my name is Anakin. My shitty acting is ruining saga.
- Elias: [Chuckles] Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.
- Randal Graves: Oh I'm crazy? Those fucking hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano... Here's the first movie...
- [Walks in a straight line, doped]
- Randal Graves: ... And here's the second movie...
- [Walks in a straight line and steps]
- Randal Graves: ...
- Hobbit Lover: He is way off. Loser.
- Randal Graves: ...You ready for the third movie?
- [Walks in a straight line again, and, at the end, pretends to take a ring off his finger and throw it away, then shrugs]
- Diner #1: Fuckin' A.