A Prairie Home Companion (2006)
Garrison Keillor: GK
Photos
Quotes
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Lola Johnson : What if you die some day?
Garrison Keillor : I will die.
Lola Johnson : Don't you want people to remember you?
Garrison Keillor : I don't want them to be told to remember me.
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[from trailer]
Garrison Keillor : We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
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Yolanda Johnson : How about just a moment of silence?
Garrison Keillor : Silence on the radio... I don't know how that works.
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Garrison Keillor : The penguin joke. Two penguins standing on an ice floe. And the first penguin says, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo." And the second penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?"
Dangerous Woman : Is there more?
Garrison Keillor : No.
Dangerous Woman : That's the joke?
Garrison Keillor : Uh huh.
Dangerous Woman : Why is that funny?
Garrison Keillor : I guess it's funny because people laugh at it.
Dangerous Woman : I'm not laughing.
Garrison Keillor : You're an angel.
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Lola Johnson : This isn't really going to be your last show, is it?
Garrison Keillor : Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
Rhonda Johnson : Thank you, Plato. Kierkegaard.
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Rhonda Johnson : Hey, that was a terrific eulogy you gave old man Soderbergh at his memorial service.
Garrison Keillor : Thank you.
Guy Noir : Too bad the old coot couldn't have been there to hear it.
Yolanda Johnson : Yeah... and to have missed it by just a few days.
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Lefty : Now, how long you been doin' this?
Garrison Keillor : Doin' what? Puttin' my pants on?
Lefty : How long you been doin' radio?
Garrison Keillor : Oh. I don't know. Thirty-some years, I guess. Started out in Mark Twain Days, Mississippi River and they hired me to play Huck Finn. I was running a raft on the Mississippi and carrying people across, and, it ran into the wake of a steamboat.
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Garrison Keillor : Are you tired of your current herring? Has it lost that certain something that you expect in a pickled fish product? If so, maybe it's time you try Jens Jenson. It's the Lake Superior herring that's made the old-fashioned Norwegian way.
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Garrison Keillor : [singing] Around the corner, an old dog appears, Sits in the summer sun, Waiting for love to come, Wish you were here, Wish you were here...
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Dusty : My horse is extremely smart. Uh, he knows math. He knows physics and chemistry; but, I can't seem to teach him philosophy.
Garrison Keillor : Can't teach him philosophy, eh?
Dusty : Well, no. You can't put Descartes before the horse.
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Garrison Keillor : We are not a sunshiny people. We're not a paradise people or a beach people. We are dark people. People who believed it could be worse. And we're waiting for it to become worse.
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Garrison Keillor : Let's welcome 'em now the old trail hands here, the Pachelbels of the Prairie, the Brahmses of the Bunkhouse. Here they are, Dusty and Lefty. Good to have you with us.
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Yolanda Johnson : [singing] You have left me and gone to another, All my hopes and bridges are burned,
Yolanda Johnson , Garrison Keillor : But I will pawn you my gold watch and chain, love, And I will pawn you my gold wedding ring, I will pawn you this heart in my bosom, Only say that you'll love me again, Only say that you'll love me again
Yolanda Johnson : Only say that you'll love me again
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Garrison Keillor : Coffee. Yes, Jearlyn, nothing stimulates a person, keeps you focused, quite like good old caffeine.
Jearlyn Steele : Black coffee.
Garrison Keillor : Mmm. So good. I'm glad you like it, too.
Garrison Keillor , Jearlyn Steele : [singing] Smells so lovely when you pour it, You will want to drink a quart of coffee, It's delicious all alone, It's also good with donuts, Black coffee
Jearlyn Steele : Coffee stimulates your urges
Garrison Keillor : It's served in Lutheran churches
Jearlyn Steele : Keeps the Swedes and the Germans
Garrison Keillor : Awake through the sermons
Garrison Keillor , Jearlyn Steele : Have a pot of it today, I'm sure you'll say it's awfully good coffee
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Garrison Keillor : You're gonna want to have a whole freezer full of Prince of Pizzas. It's the frozen pizza that tastes homemade always. Made from real Minnesota cheese and sausage.
[singing]
Garrison Keillor : One Prince of Pizza slice, Puts me in paradise, Sausage and extra cheese, Onions and anchovies...
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Garrison Keillor : We don't look back in radio. That's the beauty of it. Nobody gets old. Nobody dies. We just - keep on goin'.
Lola Johnson : What if you died?
Garrison Keillor : I will!
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Garrison Keillor : That's our show. Remember to keep your feet on the ground, your hopes up high, pray for rain, keep the humor dry. And eat those Powdermilk Biscuits. Thank you, everybody.
Garrison Keillor , Rhonda Johnson , Yolanda Johnson , Lola Johnson , Dusty , Lefty , Jearlyn Steele : [singing] Come and sit by my side if you love me, Do not hasten to bid me adieu, But remember the Red River Valley, And the one who has loved you so true...
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Molly : What was it called?
Robin Williams : Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.
Garrison Keillor : No, it's Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.
Robin Williams : That's what I said.