Barnyard (2006)

Kevin James: Otis the Cow

Photos 

Quotes 

• Otis the Cow : That's called boy tipping... HA..HA..HA..

• Otis the Cow : [Miles has kicked the farmer unconscious a third time]  WILL YOU... STOP... DOING... THAT?

  Miles the Mule : Well, unless you get him a blindfold, I'm gonna kick him!

• Ben the Cow : Grey market goods. As if I needed to say it again, the purchase of human articles from the gopher underground is strictly prohibited.

  Otis the Cow : [Otis cellphone]  HELLO MOTO!

  [start to play the Motorola tune, Otis coyly answers] 

  Gopher : Hey, Otis!

  [giggles] 

  Gopher : Listen, I think your Nikes are...

  Otis the Cow : [whispering]  Yeah, this, really isn't the best time...

• Freddy the Ferret : [the unconscious farmer has discovered the animals]  He knows too much! We gotta take care of him. We gotta whack him!

  Otis the Cow : There will be NO WHACKING! Okay? The farmer's a good guy! He's been good to us.

  Miles the Mule : He's a vegan! God bless him.

  Pig the Pig : And, uh, what is a vegan again?

  Freddy the Ferret : Oh, I know this one...

  Pip the Mouse : Naw, I got it... it means you can't eat anything with a face.

  Peck the Rooster : No, no, that's a vegetarian.

  Pig the Pig : Vegetarians have to eat in the dark, right?

  Duke the Dog : That's a VAMPIRE. C'mon!

  Pip the Mouse : You can't eat cheese?

  Bessy the Cow : It's not just cheese, vegans can't have ANY dairy products.

  Peck the Rooster : Cake?

  Pig the Pig : Cake has egg products...

  Pip the Mouse : But you can't have any dairy!

  Freddy the Ferret : No dairy? But I LOVE dairy! Does that mean I can't be a vegan?

  Pig the Pig : I love the smell of bacon! There, I said it.

  [the animals all gasp as the farmer awakens and reacts. Miles kicks him in the head a second time] 

  Otis the Cow : WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT?

  Miles the Mule : It's not like we have a lot of options.

• Daisy the Cow : [feels her stomach]  Oh, my... I think, the baby's coming!

  Otis the Cow : WHAT?

  Daisy the Cow : [giggles]  I made you jump.

  Otis the Cow : Oh, thank you. Very much. I swallowed my cud!

  Daisy the Cow : [laughs, then looks up at the stars]  It's so... beautiful...

  Otis the Cow : My cud?

• Ben the Cow : Hello, son.

  Otis the Cow : Dad, I've been thinking, and well I'm willing to accept your apology.

  Ben the Cow : [smiling]  Really.

  Otis the Cow : Sure, I mean it's only right. I mean... Okay. Uhh... I don't mean to let you down, Pop. I'm just out trying to have some fun.

  Ben the Cow : [looking up at the stars]  It's a beautiful night. I remember when I used to sit out here with your sister.

  Otis the Cow : I don't have a sister.

  Ben the Cow : Oh, yeah.

  [Rubbing Otis' head] 

  Ben the Cow : That was you, wasn't it?

  [They both laugh] 

  Otis the Cow : Thank you, all right. So. Are we okay?

  Ben the Cow : [touches his shoulder]  We're okay.

  Otis the Cow : Great. See, 'Cause I wanted to ask you something. Uh, my friends are all going to the barn tonight, and not that it matters either way to me, but evidently, I'm needed. I'm sort of an integral part of a musical number.

  [Puts jar of fireflies on his head] 

  Otis the Cow : Yeah, I tried to tell them no, you know? But they were just so.. Yeah, I told them... I told, my dad's not going to want to cover my shift I mean it's my shift, not his. It isn't his! You know? I don't want to be selfish. What's mine is mine, and... What do you think?

  Ben the Cow : Otis. I never thought I was going to amount to much. And I certainly didn't think I'd be in charge of anything. But that all changed one day. It was the day you showed up. I head out into the meadow and I see this little baby calf all alone, stumbling around. You know, before you became a nightmare. Well, I took you home that night, and I know it doesn't sound possible, but I looked up into the sky and I would have swore I saw the stars dance. At that moment, I knew my place was here, taking care of things. I guess you helped me realize that. I love you, son. You still want to go don't you?

  Otis the Cow : Yeah, I really do. Uh, not that your stuff... . Y-You know, the stuff you're saying isn't nifty and everything...

  Ben the Cow : No one says nifty.

  Otis the Cow : I say nifty, I do and sometimes even swifty I'll stay that

  Ben the Cow : Very impressive. Go ahead, have fun. I'll cover your shift.

  Otis the Cow : Thanks, Pop. You're the best.

• [Miles kicks the farmer in the face with his leg] 

  Otis the Cow : What did you do that for?

  Miles the Mule : What else was I gonna do? He saw you.

  Otis the Cow : You coulda killed him!