Cam Clarke: Freddy the Ferret

Barnyard

Freddy the Ferret

Freddy the Ferret: [the unconscious farmer has discovered the animals] He knows too much! We gotta take care of him. We gotta whack him!
Otis the Cow: There will be NO WHACKING! Okay? The farmer's a good guy! He's been good to us.
Miles the Mule: He's a vegan! God bless him.
Pig the Pig: And, uh, what is a vegan again?
Freddy the Ferret: Oh, I know this one...
Pip the Mouse: Naw, I got it... it means you can't eat anything with a face.
Peck the Rooster: No, no, that's a vegetarian.
Pig the Pig: Vegetarians have to eat in the dark, right?
Duke the Dog: That's a VAMPIRE. C'mon!
Pip the Mouse: You can't eat cheese?
Bessy the Cow: It's not just cheese, vegans can't have ANY dairy products.
Peck the Rooster: Cake?
Pig the Pig: Cake has egg products...
Pip the Mouse: But you can't have any dairy!
Freddy the Ferret: No dairy? But I LOVE dairy! Does that mean I can't be a vegan?
Pig the Pig: I love the smell of bacon! There, I said it.
[the animals all gasp as the farmer awakens and reacts. Miles kicks him in the head a second time]
Otis the Cow: WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT?
Miles the Mule: It's not like we have a lot of options.

Duke the Dog: Order, here! Hey, am I bothering you? Let's get this meeting started.
Peck the Rooster: Duke, who's gonna run the meeting?
Duke the Dog: That's what the meeting's about.
Freddy the Ferret: The meeting's about finding someone to run the meeting? Is that a good idea?
Pip the Mouse: We should take a meeting about it.
Duke the Dog: Someone has to do this. We don't have Ben. Therefore, I would like to nominate myself.
[the others begin expressing their disdain]
Duke the Dog: Dogs are... Listen to me. Dogs are watchful, they're loyal, and very protective.
Pip the Mouse: And they lick themselves. I don't a leader who licks himself.
Peck the Rooster: Me neither.
Pig the Pig: I can't even reach mine.
Duke the Dog: I don't do that.
[Awkward silence]
Duke the Dog: Anymore. One time, I was bored, lonely and a little snacknish.
Pig the Pig: Yeah, I saw you drink out of a toilet once.
[in sing-song voice]
Pig the Pig: Hey, you drink potty water!
Peck the Rooster, Freddy the Ferret, Pip the Mouse, Pig the Pig: You drink potty water!
Duke the Dog: My bowl was empty, my friend. Come on, we're getting off track here.
Miles the Mule: Duke, with all respect, I think there are certain traits that would make you unqualified to be leader.

Freddy the Ferret: Yeah, hi. Hey there. Having a good day? So, uh, this was Otis' idea?
Peck the Rooster: Oh, yeah. We're like the second line of defense. We see or hear anything suspicious, and I just signal Otis with a crow. Oh, oh, and I've really been working on it. Listen.
[he clears his throat, then crows weakly for much longer, then squeaks]
Peck the Rooster: Well, you-you know, in the moment, it'll be really strong. But for now, we just stand watch.
Freddy the Ferret: Yeah, watch.
[Freddy has a vision, the hens turn into rotisserie-style whole chicken meats]
Freddy the Ferret: [vision] Come and get it!
[dings the triangle]
Freddy the Ferret: [the camera zooms back into reality]
Peck the Rooster: Freddy? You okay?
Freddy the Ferret: BONELESS WHITE MEAT! What? I'm not hungry! I mean, I don't wanna eat anyone... thing... you... uh...
[slaps himself in the face]
Freddy the Ferret: What happened? What? What, what?