My Faraway Bride

I came across this film while flipping through the satellite channels one rainy Saturday afternoon, and left it on for a while because with over 357 channels, there was really nothing on. Bruce Springsteen needs to update his song.

I don't know how many Americans are familiar with Bollywood movies, but I'm given to understand that most of them involve a man and a woman who fall in love and must overcome many obstacles in order to be together. Also as I understand it, there must always be a happy ending. We have our own clichés, like the monster in a horror movie must always show up for the sequel, no matter how dead it was before, or that cars must fly through the air during accidents. Me, I kinda prefer the happy endings. Indestructible monsters and cars bouncing around like ping-pong balls leave me cold.

The movie itself was simple, straightforward, and predictable, but there was one thing it had that made me watch it again. That was the secondary female character, played by Neha Dubey. Throughout the movie she seemed attractive enough, but not especially so...and then she was called upon to dance in a musical number for the movie that was going to be made. For me, at least, she went from slightly attractive to jaw-droppingly, rock-between-the-eyes, can't-look-away stunning, all flashing eyes and brilliant smile and fascinating choreography. If I see that this movie is going to be on satellite again, I'll watch it again, just for that dance routine.

This is authentic love at its best. Hollywood meets Bollywood in this cross-culture, cross-continent dreamy love story. Filled with lavish color and sharp wit, My Bollywood Bride takes us on a tour of exotic India to find love between two kindred spirits. If you miss boy meets girl, true romance type of passion, you will find it between Kashmira Shah and Jason Lewis within this film.

Supporting characters like Ash Chandler and Gulshan Grover provide the classic style of a Hollywood romantic comedy, while beauties like Kashmira, Neha Dubey and Madhuri Bhatia shine presenting the luxurious elegance of a Bollywood musical.

This is a heartfelt film.

This film wasn't ponderous enough to whet my appetite for a bollywood drama, but it does have a tasty balance of music, romance and unforgettable characters. It's never laugh out loud funny, but is frequently amusing. I was giddy with delight in the film's capture of India's sights, colors, tastes and sounds. Old world meets new is the theme for the film's soundtrack. The humorous ensemble cast guides the audience to discover that while being immersed in a foreign culture, human nature stays pretty much the same world over. A joyful infusion of disco, bollywood and lamental melodies that sent my spirit soaring. I had to remind myself - this is after all an American film! It's done with enough bollywood flair to leave me satiated. :)

I didn't expect much when I saw this at the Palm Springs Film Fest this weekend. It was an alternate choice when two other films were sold out. Still, I held out hope. It sounded a bit much like "Bride and Prejudice" (L.A. guy falls for an Indian beauty, parental conflict, blah blah blah). B&P was not perfect but it was an enjoyable film with some good laughs and likable characters.

"My Bollywood Bride" had none of that. The acting seemed stilted and way to by-the-numbers. Characters were so cliché the story seemed like it could have been written by high school freshman drama student. Technically, the sound really bothered me. It seemed as if there was a lot of over-dubbing of dialogue. I mean a lot. I know sometimes it's necessary but it sounded like half the film was shot in a closet and it became very distracting.

Two stars is being somewhat generous.

A paint-by-numbers romantic comedy. But the clichés still work. There are some stand-out elements, like the "rickshaw" driver. Very predictable in a totally satisfying way.

One of the gems of this movie are the bloopers and outtakes during the end-titles. The "rickshaw" driver performs an awesome parody of De Niro's famous "You lookin' at me?" scene from Martin "Marty" Scorsese's "Taxi Driver". Only during the end-titles do you fully realize what fun was had by all, and how talented some of this cast is.

The only way to hate this movie is to indulge the mean-heartedness of some blackened corner of your soul.