O Ninja das Caldas (2001 TV Movie) User Reviews

Incredibiliy Stupid, Still Funny

[night_wolf81 · 5/10 · 21 July 2005]

I think the other comment here is quite unfair to this movie. This is not supposed to be serious, this is not supposed to be a real movie. This was just a joke a few friends made with their own camcorders. Just by accident, someone on a Portuguese channel (Sic Radical) found out about this, and decided to air it. The cult was then born.

You can't actually say the special effects are bad, as there aren't any. The mysterious cloud of smoke that appears when the master ninja comes up is so obviously a pack of flour thrown from a nearby tree - you can actually see the package falling as well... the "evil robots" are the same guys inside card boxes...

the script is bad? well, if there would be a script, it would be bad, yes... but as far as i know, there was no script at all! This is just the kind of movie we all wished we could do back when we were kids, with our friends, just for the fun. It cannot be taken seriously, as it isn't a "real movie".

Still, for those who can find it, see it. Only in Portuguese, but a few laughters are guaranteed for sure!

It was not so bad

[ruben_j_neri · 5/10 · 22 April 2006]

The movie it's comic because it doesn't even have a story, at the beginning they start a quest because of an artifact of gold, but you only hear that at the beginning, the rest of the movie its about ninja comedy. You have to think about the budget of this movie, this is an amateur movie, and it was made the cheap as possible, so it cannot be a great movie, but I really think that its really funny to watch, statements as "tell me your name so I can kill you in alphabetic order", and "you will taste the pain" are absolutely ilariouse. Not the best movie I ever watch (not even close), but I do really think that for an amateur movie its a great movie, its a really funny one.

Very funny parody to ninja movie, but not funny to those who don't understand Portuguese.

[cmoreira-1 · 9 July 2004]

This is a like an home movie that got out on TV.

It is very funny. It has a very bad story, very bad actors, everything is bad, that's what makes it so funny! It was made like that on purpose!! You must understand that before watching the movie!!

I'm almost sure they spent less money to make this movie than "Blair witch" director's.

The lines are impossible to translate to other languages! If you are portuguese, you are going to laugh out loud, but if you are not, please avoid this movie!

This is probably the worst portuguese movie ever made, that's why it's so funny!

Portuguese made ninja/martial arts spoof.

[ArabianShark · 4/10 · 1 February 2005]

With a budget of around 40€, you certainly cannot expect much on the technical side, but many a good laugh is in order for this amateurish movie.

First off, if you happen to come across this movie on DivX, which is how this movie was first introduced to the public, rest assured it is, most likely, NOT a DVD rip. The DVD only came out to the public some two years after it began being circulated in DivX. Also if you find that speech and sound effects are out of timing, that is a feature, not a bug, intended as a parody of dubbings gone wrong, especially those of Spanish-speaking center and south American soap operas.

Very poor special effects and bloopers (such as talcum powder being dropped from a plastic bag to simulate mystical mist, followed by the plastic bag itself) punctuate extensively practiced and very well choreographed fighting sequences and taunts nearly impossible to translate. Some, however, roughly mean "You shall know the supremacy of pain", or "Tell me your names and I'll kill you in alphabetical order." Hardly recommended for those who are less than fluent in Portuguese. Everyone else should help themselves to a copy.

What this is...

[jonybigude · 10/10 · 1 August 2006]

This movie was the final university work for one of Hugo Guerra's class on the graduating he was studying. In that time, a radical Portuguese cable TV channel (SIC Radical), made a contest of amateur/home made movies. Hugo Guerra, the director of this movie decided to send his work for the contest, and he won. This movie is not good for the special effects, or the speeches, or anything else, but for the comedy because of the movie is so amateur. The movie is inspired on the Dragon Ball animated series, that made major success here in Portugal during maybe one, or one and half decades. Ninja das Caldas was also a major success on the TV, especially on the most young audience. This movie came to inspire a new wave of Portuguese young directors, changing the status of the Portuguese cinema. In the end, Hugo Guerra signed a contract with some film companies to make a "real" movie.

Awful movie, (very) low budget

[papalagui · 1/10 · 11 January 2004]

This is certainly the worst movie I've ever seen. It's a Portuguese amateur production. The special effects are awful, the script is linear and the only kind of lines are: "I am going to kill you", "I will get revenge". It was fun to watch the movie because lots of production/direction errors, and for the script that becomes very funny because it's so bad. The movie is in Portuguese.

An excelent ninja movie

[luiscsilva · 10/10 · 21 December 2003]

This was actually the first Ninja movie ever made in Portugal by portuguese people.

Its a tale of a guy that gets his girlfriend killed by a Mormon profet, and goes killing everyone, looking for a revenge.

I recomend this movie to everyone that understands portuguese.

Shameful, just shameful

[luna_lovegrint · 1/10 · 12 September 2012]

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen... Portuguese people have lots of good names for Cinema, but this one wrecks it all and shames a great society like Portugal. I felt ashamed watching this, the plot made no sense, the actors were terrible, the sound FX were also horrible... easier to say that the movie, if it can be called that, itself is a pile of garbage rubbed in the eyes. How... how is it possible that IMDb considered a punctuation of 6.0? I must say that this must only be a joke, no one in their perfect sense would create such horrible thing, it's just impossible, no no no! This is as bad as the movie "Trolls 2" and even WORSE! At least the story line made sense. People would just watch this "movie" for mockery purposes only.

This movie was an art project...

[joaopombeiro · 10/10 · 2 July 2006]

----------------------------------------------------------

This movie was made as an art project, in an art school in Caldas da Rainha.

In the 3rd year of the Painting course the subject given by teachers was "landscape". Thats why in the end of movie, when Toni kills Evildragon and takes off his mask, he screams evildragon's real name: "John Landscape".

All the "actors", extras, the director, the musicians and everyone else involved in the project were art students, who made this "movie" as a caricature of ninja movies.

It's bad, but totally on purpose...

----------------------------------------------------------

This is for low-Qi people...

[tjrff · 1/10 · 4 April 2006]

This movie is very hard to watch. I read on a comment that "this movie is good for those who understand Portuguese". The guy who wrote that should probably be the film maker, because no one, specially those who understand Portuguese, should watch the movie.

Terrible acting, bad actors, no funny dialogues, nothing! This movie is a crap!

Don't ever see this. Really... Trust me, this looks like a home video of some drunk idiots dressed like ninjas doing stupid things. Not funny at all.

Everybody says in it's comments: "This movie is funny because it's bad". Following that thought, i can ask:

So, if i slap someone, i'm being funny? If i spend one hour telling you boring jokes, i'm being funny? If i do a poor acting because i can't do better, i'm being funny?

Wooow, that's not my concept of fun...

What's the "Big jokes" in this? The constant difference between audio and video? Or the obvious ketchup? Or the annoying screams? If you find THAT funny, you'll be the last person i want to meet. No brains.

So bad it's funny as hell!

[alternnate · 7 October 2004]

OK! This movie is bad... but never mind that. It's the whole point of the movie... it's funny because everything sucks! Budget was around €21.50, spent on one flour bag (for the smoky special effects) and a bottle of raspberry juice (for the blood)! Not bad for a cult movie. Ittended for a TV-show named "15 minutes" (send in your home videos for your 15 minutes of fame), the producers found it so funny that they showed it besides it's 45 minute length. Best line ever: "Give me your names so I can kill you in alphabetic order!"!!!! If it had been made in the States I'm sure it would have been more successful than Blairwitch... or maybe not.

Great Movie

[rmpp · 10/10 · 1 June 2004]

This is one the most funny movies ever! It's an amateur movie about ninjas. The special effects are very poor but the action scenes are good, very funny. The acting of course is very poor but it doesn't matter. If you don't understand Portuguese you certainly won't find very funny, but you don't know what you miss! Some things that stands out are the music, mostly tecno/trance/house and the sound effects which are awesome, I think they borrowed them from video games and other martial arts movies. I Laughed through all the movie. It's by far more funny than most comedies that are in most cinemas today. I Just wish that would make a sequel with a very low budget again, of course.

Great effort

[big_pete_5 · 8/10 · 4 April 2009]

Let's get one thing straight to begin with!!This is CRAP plain and simple,having said that,let me share my opinion with all of you.This a home made movie and amateur as it gets,the budget is non-existing and so does the plot and acting.But this is one of those cases in which it's so bad that's actually good.The soundtrack is unbelievable and the lines are cheesy as hell: "Where is your boss damm it?? He is in Óbidos,im a ninja and you wont get a word outta of me".What???The rest is as siley as it comes,a great fight scene in a place called Ninja Bar,where u see they use always the same extras and actors disguised as Ninjas and a stupid standoff with our lead hero and a coupple of robots,or should i say,two guys wearing several boxes that you can find at your local market place.It's all Fun.I will never forget an experience such as this.I only have one question:"Will there ever be a sequel???"

This sucks so hard it's surprisingly good

[aenariel · 21 July 2004]

Spoilers ahead,

Okay, if you're thinking on seeing this movie 'cause of the plot, forget it.

Ninja das Caldas became famous in Portugal because of the complete nonsense this movie is.

There are so many holes in the story it is almost unbelievable. It's impossible to understand why the characters are there or why they're doing whatever they're doing, nothing explains it. The special effects are the worst - and better part of the film. To name a few scenes, The one where Toni is resuscitated, white chalk falls off of a tree - along with Toni, and the bag where the chalk was in. AHAH (that's my favourite) When Toni is training in the roof... Sunny sky, still it's raining - but only on half of the roof. The battle scene on the road. Car parked, next scene, car not there. The cut-off hand - somehow turns green and looks like a kitchen glove. Blood everywhere through-out the movie, vivid red blood, in large amounts. Ninja bar - the fight scene where billiard sticks are... sticks; and a chess piece hits a guy in the eye, obviously killing him (blood spilling everywhere; from his eye. The two robots sent by the villain to fight Toni... two guys dressed in... supermarket boxes and just garbage. All ninja masks are t-shirts tied to their heads, I can't stop laughing when Toni tries to insert his sword into something in his back... and has to hold the sword with his hands because there's nothing to insert the sword into. *LOL*

The soundscore.. OK, computer mixed TRASH and complete rip-offs of the street fighter video game in the fight scenes. The original voices were deleted, so it's even funnier when they're talking with their mouths closed. LOL

If you're looking for a laugh and understand portuguese (could quote a million funny lines), this is a great movie, but don't expect a masterpiece here.

Comedy : 9,5 out of 10. Everything else: 0,5, being nice.