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5/10
The Halfway House
Scarecrow-884 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Larissa(Janet Tracy Keijser, who has a smokin' body)is looking for her missing sister who went out jogging one day and got fed to something in a basement thanks to a demented handyman who kidnapped her. She calls on Sgt. Dick Sheen(Shawn Savage)to assist her in going undercover within a Catholic half way house for troubled girls ran with an iron fist by evil nun, Sister Cecelia(Mary Woronov). Father Fogerty(Joseph Tatner)loves to paddle his girls who misbehave while Larissa(who is snooping for possible leads regarding not only her own missing sister but other girls as well)finds porno mags and a sex doll in his office cabinet. She also helps out a quiet, sad lesbian, "Cherry Pie" Polowski(Stephanie Leighs)who lost her tough sista lover to the same monster that ate Larissa's sister, who gets picked on by a group of nasty girls who blame her for losing privileges. Through some sources, Dick finds out that Sister Cecilia was gang-raped and sought help in a mental health facility. Also, Cecilia went to Miskatonic University and working there was none other than the handyman, Lutkus(Cleve Hall)who now is employed at the half way house, often peeping at the girls taking showers. Once they left Miskatonic, a rare book from the university library disappeared..the book of mystic spells, THE NECRONOMICON. Thanks to the book, Cecilia has summoned a demon monster she's feeding the missing girls to for preparation of destroying the male race. Cecilia also plans to to have a child with the monster! Thanks to her sicko handyman who rounds her up meat for the monster, Cecilia's plan seems to be about finalized, will Larissa be able to stop her before it's too late?

Sordid, sacrilegious, perverse..this flick is perfect for the Midnight Movie Crowd. The flick pokes fun with Catholicism as much as it can and serves up lots of female nudity and sexual situations. Hinted at in dialogue and off-screen action, Larissa and Cherry Pie have a growing lesbian relationship brewing..we just don't get welcomed to it because this little development isn't visible to us. The monster is crap, but I think it's looking extremely fake was intentional. The film isn't nothing to write home about, but Woronov is as fun as always in an unusual part. There's no budget to speak of, so the flick shows as much lurid antics as possible. The female cast are uninhibited which might appeal to fans of 80's slashers before the pop, WB PG-13 era of horror flicks began to rise up taking center stage in the late 90's and on.
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3/10
The Exorcist meets Jaws through Bride of the Monster
sol-kay12 May 2006
**SPOILERS** Ridicules as well as insulting soft-core porno horror movie that has Catholic Nun Sister Cecelia ,Mary Moronov, who became secretly involved in the Black Arts through the Satanic book of the dead Necronomicon. Sister Cecelia ends up conjuring up this creature from another dimension who looks like the rubber octopus in "Bride of the Monster" with a ferocious set of teeth.

Working behind the back of Father Fogerty (Joseph Tatnen), who runs the halfway house for runaway girls where she's assigned to, Sister Cecelia together with the halfway house's creepy handy-man Lutkus, Cleve Hall, secretly have the girls fed to this creature. This is done in order to nourish it and eventually have Sister Cecelia become it's bride! So that the blessed couple would produce a race of half-human half-octopus-like off-springs to take over and rule the world.

Father Fogerty himself is anything but innocent in the movie having a faddish of not only reading and looking at the photos of girly magazines where young, and well endowed, women get spanked. That's were Father Fogerty gets the idea of disciplining the girls at his halfway house by spanking them silly in the privacy of his office for any infraction that they commit.

After jogger Annie Morgan, Ashley Rgea, is reported missing by her older sister Larissa, Janet Tracy Keijser, she with the help of police Sgt. Dick Sheen, Shawn Savage,goes undercover at the halfway house where Annie was last seen jogging. It's also suspected that a number of other girls reported missing over the last few months also disappeared there.

Getting to know what's really happening at the halfway house by getting very friendly with one of the runaway girls Cherry Pie, Stephanie Leighs, Larissa plans to get the goods on both Sister Cecelia and her accomplice in crime Lutku.Larissa ends up getting caught by the Satanic trio when Cherry Pie was too slow to inform her that Sister Cecelia was coming as the two were about to escape from the place.

Sgt. Sheen coming to the rescue is caught by surprise by Latkus who shoves a blade right through him. Down in the basement of the halfway house Sister Cecelia, in a witch-like outfit, is about to bring out of the dungeon the one-eyed octopus-like creature to devour Cherry Pie for lunch only to have Father Fogerty pop up. shocked at what he sees, Sister Cecelia out of uniform, Fogerty tries to get the creature to desist, from eating Cherrie pie. Fogerty does this by reciting passage's from the bible only to have his hand, holding a crucifix, cut off with a pair of shears by Lutkus

Coming back from the dead Sgt. Sheen, with a two foot long knife protruding from his chest, takes out Lutkus where the creature for some strange reason attacks Sister Cecelia now dressed up like some kind of Demonic Wizard. The creature ends up swallowing her down whole like actor Robert Shaw was in the movie "Jaws" with Larissa, also like in the movie "Jaws", throwing a plastic container of gasoline into it's mouth and blowing the creature to kingdom come.

The movie "The Halfway House" is not only dopey with bad acting and a lot of it's story not making any sense at all it's not even intentionally or unintentionally funny. Its just plain bad and insulting to everyone, of any religious or non-religious persuasion, watching it.
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3/10
Yeah this is Pretty Bad
gator11109 May 2006
I saw some of this movie last night on SHowtime, and it's def nothing to jump around about. But it's so stupid that it's kinda funny. The acting is definitely horrible, don't know what they were thinking with this 1. The chicks are fine, but I guess thats the only plus. It's nothing more than a C class horror movie with a predictable plot, sprinkled with lesbian love. Also the characters are so dry and are just dumb. There's the Nuns helper that I guess is suppose to represent Egor, but is really not scary or funny.This is definitely a movie that could of stayed in the vaults, but because it's so stupid it's kinda funny.
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1/10
is this a horror movie ???
Rabiddog1 November 2005
People of IMDb, last night was a very disappointing Halloweenevening. I've red about The Halfway House here at IMDb and I trusted most of the comment.A big mistake !!! What a crap this movie is, I'm a collector of horror movies and I have about 1800 tapes and about 400 DVD's. All horror and thriller. I've seen a lot of bad movies but this one is total crap. I can't understand why some of you like this movie. If you are a lesbian then you might like this movie. The girls are pretty,the lesbian scenes are pretty, the special effects are bad, the acting is bad, the whole movie is bad. It's not been released (yet) in Belgium, so I had to order it in America. People don't waste your money on this, there are lots of good horror movies you can buy. You don't have to buy the worst of the worst.

greets
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2/10
Campy Schlock Crap From The Writer Of PUPPET MASTER
EVOL66613 March 2006
OH LORD this one sucks. Pseudo-Lovecraftian garbage with very little gore, a few tits (but NO full-frontal), horrible acting - oh Christ, I give up - the list of negatives about this film is just way too long and encompasses just about every aspect of this piece of trash.

The super-condensed version (because that's all this crap deserves): Girls are disappearing around an all-girl halfway house and being fed to a monster that lives in the basement by the head nun. The police and one of the missing girls' sisters gets involved in the "investigation"...

In case you haven't already gathered- I pretty much hated this "film". Posing as a modern exploit film but not having the balls to take the concept all the way - THE HALFWAY HOUSE is a let-down all the way through. I don't know if this film was supposed to be loosely based on one of H.P. Lovecraft's works - but there are references to the Necronomicon, Miskatonic University, the town of Arkham, etc...that would probably cause ol' H.P. to rise from his grave and slaughter everyone involved in this waste-of-film if he would ever have had the misfortune to witness it. Anyway...unless you REALLY dig schlocky, no-budget, SOV/STV, camp-horror with virtually no gore and not nearly enough nudity - leave this one on the shelf...2/10
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1/10
I can't believe I watched that until the end !!!
Gary-P-Heath14 January 2008
I have seen some pretty poor movies in my time, but this takes the biscuit, it is truly terrible ... the plot is dreadful, the acting is diabolical, the monster is laughable, everything about The Halfway House is awful !!!

I am not sure, either, exactly what this movie is supposed to be, or what it is trying to be. If it's supposed to be a horror movie it fails spectacularly, I only jumped once in the entire film and that was in a part that I think was supposed to be funny !!!

If it is supposed to be titillating, it also fails spectacularly. I'm not going to complain about seeing numerous half naked women, even if only 2 of them were remotely good looking, but what was the point of most of the nudity if not to titillate and entertain, it certainly did neither !!!

In summary, it was like a cheap porn movie without the porn !!!
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Recommended
Dr. Gore23 October 2005
Warning: Spoilers
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

A user on the IMDb recommended this movie to me. I must give off the impression that I'm the kind of guy who would enjoy a woman's prison movie set in a Catholic Halfway House with copious amounts of nudity and a horny one-eyed monster. Well, let me tell you something. I am that kind of guy. This was a good find. I needed to see this. So do you.

"The Halfway House" is a shameless exploitation flick with a little Catholic bashing thrown in. Have no fear. Every actress, with the exception of Mary Woronov, will get naked. A girl gets kidnapped while jogging and her sister leads the fight to find out what happened to her. She goes undercover in the Halfway House to get to the bottom of it. The Halfway House has plenty of bad girls that want to get naked. This works out well because the ancient horny demon in the basement only likes to eat topless women. The house is run by a priest who likes to give out spankings to the misbehaving delinquents and Sister Woronov who applies her own demonic discipline to the unruly ladies.

Yeah, it's all here. When the mass shower scene finally rolled around, I sighed with relief. Now here is a sleazy movie that knows what exploitation fans expect. The thing about "The Halfway House" is that it's sleazy, but not overly so, (at least by my standards). They deliver the goods and then move on. Praise must be given to Stephanie Leighs, who plays "Cherry Pie". She carries a lot of the sex and nudity burden in this one. Thank you Cherry Pie for being so dang tasty. The girl playing Larissa wasn't too bad either. Not bad at all. She got naked a couple of times and those were good times.

Overall, I was very pleased with "The Halfway House". If you're an exploitation fan, you need to see this one. Just don't expect a serious monster/horror movie. The monster in the basement is just another excuse to get more naked women into the movie. It made the monster happy. It'll make you happy too. Sure worked for me.
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1/10
Oh My God This Movie Sucks
PartridgeFeatherz13 January 2006
This movie is scary if only because someone actually made it. It is so bad. Bad beyond words, friends. The budget, I've heard, was somewhere around $100,000; my question is, what did they spend the money on? It sure wasn't the movie. The acting is bad, script is bad, direction is bad. Even the props and the locations were awful. I wouldn't recommend this to my worst enemy. I mean it, this is really horrible, even by the normal standards of bad cinema. I think I'm gonna vomit now! Excuse me... Blecch! Okay, I'm back now. Now that all the food is gone from my stomach, I can tell you more about this travesty of a "film." The production value was zero. Everything, and I mean everything, was awful about this movie. The movie is so bad that if I even knew anyone in it I would shoot myself. Does that give you an idea of my thoughts on this movie?
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1/10
Not even worth it for the nudity, and especially not for the horror or humour.
The_Dead_See5 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I rented Halfway House in the mood for some cheese, some sleaze, and hopefully a giggle or two. The case design and quotes suggested it might be entertaining, possibly funny, and laced with a bit of naughtiness as icing on the cake. I was hoping for the exact opposite of a masterpiece - something like a Jim Wynorski, Russ Meyer, or Fred Olen Ray work - something silly, fun, vacuous, and horny. Possibly another "Frankenhooker" for example. Just so you get what I was aiming for.

I got none of the above.

What I got instead was a horrendously boring screenplay, with very little in the way of either horror or humour. If you think you're going to get any gore in this release, think again.

And if you think you're going to get humour, well... nope... not that either. In fact, apart from a few lines of dialogue which sounded like they were trying to be jokes but fell flat, it seems the script was almost written with the misguided intention of actually being serious. And the whole thing is so badly paced it's like watching paint dry.

As for the nudity, well yes, there is some. But though it's gratuitous, it's also kind of annoying - like watching a porno with anything of interest edited out.

So to sum up - the clear intended audience of this movie is the male (or lesbian) horror comedy fan that has no concern about low budget or bad production values. However, as the film fails to titillate, horrify, or amuse, it's pretty much a wide miss of its target audience and therefore a wide miss for anyone and everyone. Don't waste your time with it.
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7/10
S10 Reviews: The Halfway House (2004)
suspiria109 April 2006
A woman goes undercover in a Catholic house for runaway girls where girls are disappearing with alarming frequency to see if the disappearances of her sister around the corner have anything in common. The usual ruffians and lesbians populate 'The Halfway House' as well as the strict nun, perverted handyman and porn loving, butt smacking priest. Lurking under the sex and cheesy acting is the heart of every Lovecraft adaptation / homage. A good time will be had by all that enjoy these crappy sleaze fests. 'House' doesn't let a thing like story dampen the fun of catfights and lesbo loving. Mary Wornov takes things way too much seriously as the nun with the answers. There are plenty of sex and laughs even for the most discerning sleaze fan.
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2/10
"Two runaways in two days... that makes one a day." Absolutely terrible no budget crap.
poolandrews1 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
The Halfway House starts with Annie Morgan (Ashley Fires) getting kidnapped as she goes about her business, if that wasn't bad enough her kidnapper ties her to some sort of sacrificial alter before ripping her clothes off & letting some demonic creature eat her, I guess it just wasn't her day. Annie's sister Larissa (Janet Tracy Keijser) becomes worried about her & goes to the police, Sergeant Dick Sheen (Shawn Savage) fees there is a connection between Annie's mysterious disappearance & reports of several other young women going missing from the 'Mary Magdalan halfway house for troubled girls' situated in the same area where Annie was last seen but can't convince his boss Inspector Hinds (Michael Gaglio) so Larissa volunteers to go undercover unofficially in an attempt to try & find her sister, simple eh? It's not long before she unearths sinister secrets at the halfway house...

Co-executive produced, written & directed by Kenneth J. Hall I thought The Halfway House was total complete & utter crap, it's as simple & straight forward as that. I'm actually quite surprised by the number of semi positive comments this piece of dung has, I simply can't see one ounce of entertainment value within it's turgid 90 odd minute duration. The script feels like an exploitative WIP (women in prison) film with a touch of a 50's monster film thrown in there for good measure, the problem is it's never really that sleazy, the females are rather unattractive & the monster appears for all of 4 minutes. I also had the feeling that the girls could just leave whenever they wanted, I mean there were only three people who worked there & they weren't under arrest so why couldn't they just walk out the front door? The way these women talk you'd think they were banged up in Colditz! The character's are awful, there's a perverted priest, the 'tough' female hero, the cop, the butch lesbian & her gang a well as a few faceless cardboard cutout victims & there isn't even any funny dialogue in it either. I'm sorry but this is just terrible, it's not explicit enough to please anyone looking for sex & it's not scary enough for anyone looking for chills so why exactly does this film exist? Answers on a postcard please...

Director Hall was obviously working on a low budget but I still don't think that's an excuse for turning in such a crap film. Ther are no scares, there's no tension, there's no laugh value while the sex & nudity is brief, tame & very forgettable. Even the obligatory shower scene is a letdown as it features lots of not very attractive women who could do with losing a few pounds... Gore wise there's a decapitation, someone has their hand chopped off with a pair of garden shears & someone is impaled with a machete, nothing to get excited about really.

Technically the film is probably as good as it could have been but it's still a very cheap looking little film that has nothing going for it. The monster looks awful & the room it comes out of must have some sort of fog machine in it as it seems to come out in a huge cloud of smoke for no apparent reason other than to hide it's body... The acting isn't so hot, sorry.

The Halfway House is just another totally forgettable, dull rubbishy no budget straight-to-video horror film that fails to inspire or impress in any way. Definitely not recommended.
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10/10
Delightfully irreverent 80s-retro style B horror comedy
czarnobog24 November 2006
B movies experienced a sea change in the 60s in response to competition from racier foreign films, and T'n'A became a staple feature of the genre. The tide turned again in the Bush, Sr. era as politically correct movie makers like Wes Craven cleaned house, ditching gratuitous nudity and sleaze to appeal to the more conservative leaning Gen X American teens.

THE HALFWAY HOUSE, made in 2004, is a welcome leap back in time, a tongue-in-cheek tribute to the bad ole days, when horror films were a spit in the eye of the self-proclaimed Moral Majority.

Cult mistress Mary Woronov toplines a thoroughly charming and capable cast, who play a motley assortment of delinquents, psychopaths, and cops. A stableful of budding scream queens light up the screen, eating up the pulp dialog and brightening many an adolescent boy's silver dreams by generously flaunting their bodies.

With its gleefully perverse jabs at Catholicism, including one prop gag that will have Legion of Decency crusaders reaching for their heart pills, this film is not for Bible Belt soccer moms or unreformed altar boys, but fans of 80s B classics like "REFORM SCHOOL GIRLS" or "NIGHT OF THE DEMONS" will be rolling in the aisles.

Low budget, set mainly in one location with judicious breaks throughout, the film delivers some cool sets and nicely done Lovecraftian EFX. A far cry from the typical no-budget shot-on-video fodder being cranked out by countless wannabe horror directors that choke the videostore shelves.

The story is solid enough, and the dialog is often hilarious. Mercifully, writer-director Hall whips up irony and sarcasm rather than the painful one-liner puns usually relied upon for comic relief.

This is exactly the type of film "serious" moviegoers will disdain without watching. But frame for frame, it delivers more entertainment value than most Hollywood movies made for thirty times the budget.
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7/10
An instant classic....7/10
Jss026625 November 2006
An instant cult classic.....everything from sex, blood, a perverted priest and a nun that isn't what she appears to be! Gotta love that Cherry Pie.....yummy! Just wished the director would have shown all the girls getting spanked. And why do we get treated to seeing Cherry and Eddie in bed and not Cherry and Larissa? Mary Woronov is an under appreciated talent. The inspector had some classic lines when the girl playing Larissa walks into his office. The only criticism would be why were the girls still wearing their panties before they were sacrificed? If they had been completely nude, I'd have scored it 8/10...oh well. It looks like there could be a potential sequel near the end.....we can only hope.
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4/10
Wild!
BandSAboutMovies1 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Look, you can talk all you want about your new movies that everyone on Film Twitter is gushing about and I'll just hide in my little corner of the web and discuss really aberrant dumb things like 2004's The Halfway House, a movie so dumb that it couldn't spell Mary Magdalene correctly and smart enough to place Mary Woronov in the central role of a nun who has turned away from God because she discovered the Elder Gods who lie waiting beyond the veil of time. Also: tentacle attacks.

Young girls are disappearing in and around the Mary Magdalen - yeah, that's how they did it - Halfway House for Troubled Girls. Larissa Morgan goes undercover to infiltrate the Catholic-run institution and find her sister, but what she discovered is Woronov's Sister Cecelia presiding over a world of debauchery, like a quasi-women in prison movie mixed up with Lovecraft.

Kenneth J. Hall has made creatures that've upset people for years, like the Critters, Ghoulies, the Bio-Monster in Biohazard, Carnosaur, the creatures in Willy's Wonderland and more. He also wrote Dr. Alien, Evil Spawn, Nightmare Sisters and directed Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout. So there you go - he has the sensibilities you're looking for when you want your mind and eyes tickled.

Thirtysomething teenagers, sex scenes that border on the hard end of softcore, chainsaw mutilation, a priest that smacks offered behinds while yelling "The power of Christ compels you!" and so much nudity that the term gratuitous becomes challenged.

If church was this much fun, more people would go.
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Practically garbage, but possibly amusing for some.
Samiam33 July 2009
Arguablly one of the most perverted non-porno films to emerge in recent cinema. It is the kind of thing that makes you want to ask out loud 'what were they thinking?' Highly offensive, sexist, gross, and without a molecule of talent. At least the movie does not take itself seriously, making it watchable if taken as camp, but I estimate that only one out of every ten (or even twenty) people will find this entertaining.

After her sister disappears one afternoon, Larissa Morgan turns to the cops for help. She suspects something to do with, Sister Cecilia's halfway house for troubled girls, and comes up with a twisted plan to get some answers. She seduces a cop into sending her to the halfway house, pretending she is unstable. Her intention, to go under cover and investigate the place. Everything goes bananas; we get silly sex scenes, extreme profanity, sadistic morons, and a hungry alien in the cellar.

The Halfway House is junk, but it is not the worst movie out there. It has the potential to entertain but its audience isn't liable to be anything other than sex-crazed, ruffian teen boys. Everyone else will see The Halfway House as what it is, a lobotomized piece of sexploitation
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3/10
This was definitely something else...
paul_haakonsen15 January 2022
When I sat down in 2022 to watch the 2004 horror comedy "The Halfway House" for the first time, I have to admit that I had never even heard about this movie from writer and director Kenneth J. Hall.

Now, the movie's cover does have that low budget feel to it, but still, the synopsis actually sounded interesting enough. And with "The Halfway House" being a horror comedy that I hadn't already seen, of course I found the time to watch it.

Well, "The Halfway House" is a very, very mixed bag of nuts. The movie was all over the place, and I wouldn't exactly label it as being comedy, because there were no laughs here.

The storyline combines elements from all over the place, and it feels like it was a script and storyline that was written by and for late teenagers. Why? Well, there was an absurd amount of unnecessary nudity in the movie, for starters. Then there were the more than lewd and pseudo-explicit sex scenes, which just fully and wholeheartedly sleazed down the movie to a low level. And of course, it was girl on girl action, what else would it be from a late teenager? And then out of nowhere you have a creature that looked like a death tyrant from the Dungeons & Dragons game. But as it that wasn't enough, then writer and director Kenneth J. Hall stirs in references to Arkham, Massachusetts, the Necronomicon, Charles Dexter and the Miskatonic University.

"The Halfway House" is a cheesy and campy movie. Was it worth the watch? No, not really. Well, it would have been, had writer and director Kenneth J. Hall opted to not include the pointless nudity and the lewd sex scenes. Without that, then "The Halfway House" would have been a much more enjoyable and respectable movie.

Of all the actors and actresses that were playing a part in "The Halfway House", I was only familiar with Mary Woronov (playing Sister Cecilia).

I will say, though, that the special effects in the movie and the creature design were actually rather good, surprisingly enough, taking into consideration the premise of the movie.

Sure, if you are a late teenager and if you are into role-playing games and the Lovecraft Mythos, then you might find something enjoyable here. But if you are a part of a more mature audience that wants to watch a properly entertaining and wholesome movie, then "The Halfway House" is not the best of choices.

My rating of "The Halfway House" lands on a very generous three out of ten stars.
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4/10
Spanked
kosmasp24 December 2023
No pun intended - this knows what it is. I would argue the badness (what else could I call it?) is intended - don't give me that look! Maybe I am wrong, but it is better to imagine they did all this on purpose! Like the bad people in this - they service and they sacrifice for the evil.

There is a lot of nudity, there is a monster (hand made too at times) ... and it gets its tentacles everywhere. Makes kind of sense - well not the movie, that does not make much sense, but hey ... this is here to entertain the lowest of expectations! There is nothing wrong with liking this or being entertained by it - this is not Citizen Kane, this is not a classic ... this is not even halfway there ... even if I always go the full distance (when it comes to puns)!
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5/10
mildly entertaining
emlyn_b28 March 2010
totally wrong on every level but captivating all the same. so inexcusably pathetic but also so addictive to watch just to see if the acting picked up further into it. a good Sunday movie if you are hungover from the night before, great for zombie-ing out to on an overcast afternoon.

i found myself wondering if these actors have made it in Hollywood, or whether they still are waitressing. not quite even a soft porn movie even if there are plenty of breasts on show.

please ensure you have downed a bottle of vodka or two in the hour before commencing.
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6/10
Low budget horror. v1.01
annevejb11 December 2023
This is the sort of horror film that includes a lot of young attractive female actors who are comfortable about acting naked.

Acting and dialogue and action are occasionally weak, but this is low budget, so this should not get in the way of appreciation for those with a true love of such low budget films.

Some might consider this film as filthy dross, but others might consider the dross to be worthwhile food. .

This is the sort of porn horror that I should be able to return to occasionally. The original Last House On The Left is superior in All respects, but the horror in that is too intense for me.

The nudity is restricted to bedtimes and showering and mealtimes. I vastly prefer it to the nudity in the Kindle porn photo magazines that I read in early 2023.
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8/10
No Elder Gods were harmed during the making of this motion picture.
Hey_Sweden21 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Larissa Morgan (Janet Tracy Keijser) investigates the recent disappearance of her sister Annie, who'd been abducted and FED to some horrible thing. Soon, we learn that this has typically been the fate of voluptuous young women who were incarcerated at Mary Magdalenes' Halfway House for Troubled Girls. Larissa goes undercover at this extremely dubious place, working with a well-meaning detective (Shawn Savage) and having to deal with a nefarious nun, Sister Cecelia (cult icon Mary Woronov) and a perverted priest (Joseph Tatner).

With the vast majority of cheese-horror, this viewers' big laughs are usually unintentional, but at least these filmmakers clearly are aiming for you to laugh at the absurdity of their plot & situations. And laugh I did, loudly & often. It's silly and hardly scary, but it's fun. In fact, it has a rather high sleaze factor - complete with sex, nudity, and lesbianism - to go with its horror elements.

While much of the supporting cast may come off as amateurish, they're still entertaining in their own way. Keijser is a reasonably appealing heroine, Savage is likeable enough, and Tatner is an utter hoot as a holy man with a decided taste for adult magazines and corporal punishment. But everybody pales next to the great Woronov, who gets one of her best latter-day showcases here.

All in all, "The Halfway House" is a welcome throwback to 80s-style horror fare, and to top it all off, it heavily references H. P. Lovecraft, which should have genre buffs fairly amused. The creature itself is a pretty cool effect for a movie on a budget.

Written & directed by Kenneth J. Hall ("Evil Spawn"), whose brother, the late effects expert Cleve Hall, plays the supporting role of dimwitted handyman Lutkus.

Eight out of 10.
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8/10
Now this film is Old School FUN... FUN... FUN!
nobudget-122 August 2005
So many horror films these days are such a disappointment, but man was I surprised by this little low budget gem! It had me in tears, I was laughing so hard. It had it all... lots of nudity (I do mean lots!), some incredibly funny lines, and some great kills!

It was directed by Kenneth J. Hall, who wrote "Puppet Master", a Full Moon film that was actually quite good. They should have had Hall write more of their films.

Anyway, I managed to catch a screening of "The Halfway House" at the North Hollywood Film Fest. The rest of the audience loved it as much as I did. It seems like a tribute to all the fun exploitation horror movies I loved in my youth, filled with sexy juvenile delinquents (played by much older girls), weird characters, and a Lovecraftian monster. Hall isn't satisfied with spoofing one genre. He takes on a whole bunch of them… and succeeds! The production looks good and the cast, led by veteran actress Mary Woronov, is first-rate. Anyone who is a fan of old-school drive-in horror movies from the 60s and 70s is bound to like this movie. I can't wait to see what this guy does next.
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10/10
John Waters & William Castle Have A Baby!
magicshow-118 August 2005
Mary Woronov! A one-eyed monster! Sex, blood, and Jesus too! Who could ask for more? I am a video store owner and I urge all video stores to stock this movie, especially if you have customers who like the classic Hammer or Castle films, as well as John Waters. I have been a huge Mary Woronov fan ever since I saw "Eating Raoul" twenty years ago and she does not disappoint. In these times of religious extremism (in the U.S.), it's good to see a movie deal with the real issues of spirituality and the sanctity of religious symbols, most importantly in regard to the very,very personal pleasure of prayer. This is a great midnight movie. All you need is a six pack or two, a pizza or two, and a lot of good friends. Let the clock strike twelve and turn the lights down and enjoy.
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9/10
Guilty pleasure of the highest order
slayrrr66625 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
"The Halfway House" is a rather great guilty pleasure.

**SPOILERS**

After her sister goes missing, Larissa Morgan, (Janet Tracy Keijser) decides to go looking for her at the local halfway house, run by Sister Cecelia, (Mary Moronov) a highly religious nun. Thinking the best way to get information is to go undercover in the house, she and Sgt. Dick Sheen, (Shawn Savage) she is snuck in and made a member of the house with the other women there, 'Cherry Pie' Polowski, (Stephanie Leighs) Eddie, (Monica Shere) Angelina, (Athena Demos) Sheila, (Tomi X.) and Shelby, (Saye Yabandeh) and begins looking into the house's past. Discovering a dark secret in the house, she races to save the others from the horrible truth present.

The Good News: Rarely has there been a film more concentrated on having fun. It's mostly a series of scenes that are only concerned with getting satisfaction out of it. The near constant nudity and lesbian scenes are the perfect indication of that, as it reveals in them and constantly features both. It's always a pleasure to see those elements featured so prominently in the film, as it makes the film a little more enjoyable. The different forms of capitol punishment used all throughout are also prime examples. The gag with the Vaseline is the special standout and will no doubt be its most memorable as well. There's a couple of nifty death scenes, including a hand cut off with hedge-clippers, a knife thrown into a back, several munched to pieces and more, all in good, dirty fun. The special effects add to it, despite being cheesy. The surprise in the dungeon will speak for itself, and is the height of cheese. That's really all it is, a highly cheesy movie that reveals in it and doesn't really do much more.

The Bad News: One of the only problems with this one is that it's goofy tone might be a bit much for some to take. It's tone is an acquired taste as it's not exactly a forgiving tone. This is the only problem with the film, as far as I could tell.

The Final Verdict: It's tone will mostly be the reason why this isn't' recognized as a much better film, as it's goofy tone is a major plus to it. Highly recommended for those that enjoy this kind of film, while those that like it a bit more serious are expected to exercise caution with this one.

Rated R: Nudity, Graphic Language, several sex scenes of both sexes and Graphic Violence
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10/10
Nasty Nuns, One-Eyed Monsters and Cherry Pie
AmandaByNight23 July 2005
Fans of "USA Up All Night" will love "Halfway House" for two reasons:

1. This campy tale about a home for wayward girls who constantly go missing has everything that those classic films of the 70s and 80s do - There's sex, violence and monsters aplenty along with enough smart, brassy dialog to fill another three films.

2. "Halfway House" is written and directed by Kenneth Hall who was no stranger to the classic late night movie show. Hall wrote "Puppetmaster" and "Nightmare Sisters" as well as directing such choice fare such as "Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout" and "Evil Spawn".

"Halfway House" takes a refreshing approach to the Women-In-Prison genre with a story about Larissa (Janet Tracy Keijser) who is searching for her sister when she goes missing after a jog by the ominous house. Larissa seduces a well-meaning but horny cop (Shawn Savage as Sgt. Dick Sheen – HA!) into helping her infiltrate the house as a delinquent teen. Once inside, our Nancy Drew runs afoul of Sister Cecelia (Mary Warnov in wonderfully subtle performance) and her handyman Lutkus (the hilarious Cleve Hall, Kenneth's brother) along with a slew of sexed-up, bitchy 'inmates', who constantly try to escape the house without much success, for what lurks in the basement isn't very pretty and apparently very hungry.

Hall is in fine form here, recapturing much of what was so great about spending Friday nights glued to your TV. And like wine, he's aged well and brings a fearless sense of thematics to "Halfway House", making it a must for repeat viewings.

I caught a screening of "Halfway House" at the Valley Film Festival last year and was blown away by this independent movie's tenacity to please a crowd. Hall spoke afterward, proving he may be L.A.'s answer to John Waters – smart, irreverent and completely charming, it's no wonder that his films have endured all this time. I was thrilled when I found out it was coming out on DVD in August in the uncut version I saw. Long live blood, breasts and beasts!!!
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8/10
Takes me back to a bygone era
movieman_kev6 September 2005
Warning: Spoilers
While out jogging, Annie Morgan is abducted, taken to a dungeon, stripped to her panties while tied up, and sacrificed. Her sister. Larissa, goes to the police to help her find Annie, but only one seems willing to help. Their search takes them to the Mary Magdalen Halfway House for Troubled Girls, where Larrisa goes undercover. She meets the strict disciplinarian Father Fogerty, clashes with Angelina and her gang, runs afoul of Sister Cecelia whom is hiding dark secrets. This is just like a B-movie love song to grind-house films of the '70's and '80's. You have your women in prison film atmosphere, a return to trashy '80's schlockfests, throw in some HP Lovecraft, Andy Warhol find and B-movie mainstay Mary Woronov, rampant nudity, and cheap practical effects. And it's all just in the name of good kegger fun. All it's really missing is a cameo by the one and only Dick Miller.

My Grade: B+

Eye Candy: Athena Demos, Monica Shere, and a handful of extras ; Stephanie Leighs shows T&A

Unrated Director's cut DVD Extras: Commentary by Director Kenneth Hall and Producer Ed Polgardy; 3 deleted scenes; a 38 & a half minute spoiler laden Making of; Halfway to Hell' Music video by Insecto Circus; and an Uncensored Trailer
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