Dear Pillow (2004) User Reviews

Prequel to Dear Sock?

[thesar-2 · 5/10 · 18 June 2011]

If you like Mumblecore films, (and if you know what they are, then you probably do…) you'll probably like Dear Pillow.

Unlike reality shows, these types of films, including Dear Pillow, really make it real. They're methodically slow with genuine dialogue (even if you don't like it) and a budget that will give any inspiring filmmaker hope of making it big…or otherwise.

In this case, we have a teen boy who's, duh, horny, but also a voyeur in his apartment complex. He's desperate to lose his virginity, even if with the gay neighbor of his, despite him being straight.

Instead of getting it on with the gay guy, Dusty (Gary Chason) they strike up a friendship when the boy, Wes (Rusty Kelley) expresses interest in writing for a porn magazine and his infatuation with another neighbor, Lorna (Viviane Vives) becomes well-known.

Dusty was in the industry, and might still be, so he coaches the newbie to the wonderful world of whores, or porn, and things plus feelings are revealed.

I liked it. The actors are sincere, especially Vives and Kelley and the plot does move along. The dialogue is good and the character Wes actually stole what I've always said about coffee: "It tastes like burnt water." Hey, that's my line!

Finally, it's not huge (no pun) and despite the "unrated" words on the DVD cover, it's hardly anything to watch…to, um, well, you know. Like the articles Wes wants to write, it's almost all just words.

An excellent film about a difficult subject matter

[trashmag · 7/10 · 20 January 2008]

***Not sure if anything in here really qualifies as a spoiler, but I do deal with some of the major plot points so just giving you a warning.***

Dear Pillow centers on awkward teenager Wes (Rusty Kelly). He's about to turn 18 and still hasn't had sex. Wes is so concerned about being a virgin that he's even contemplating letting Dusty (Gary W. Chason), the creepy guy in his building who's always inviting him up for a beer, rape him just to have it done with. Of course Wes would much rather have sex with his hot landlady Lorna (Viviane Vives), but that seems unlikely.

Wes also has issues with his father (Cory Criswell). Wes has found his dad's stash of porn and is weirded out because so much of it involves bondage. That, and the fact that some of the women remind him of his mother. When Wes discovers that Dusty writes for a company that publishes some of the mags in his dad's stash, he finally pays Dusty a visit. At first Wes goes on a tirade against Dusty for being a pervert. But instead of getting upset, Dusty talks to Wes about why he feels the way he does. Before long Dusty has taken Wes under his wing and is mentoring him in the art of writing dirty stories.

Obviously making a film with themes involving sex, porn, and teens requires some deft handling to avoid becoming mere exploitation. Fortunately writer/director Bryan Poyser is more than up to the challenge. In particular Poyser handles the sexual tension between Wes and Dusty well. It would have been easy to just make Dusty a creepy old pedophile, but the relationship between him and Wes is much more complex that.

Poyser says that he wanted to take a serious look at pornography and how it affects different people's lives that neither vilified nor romanticized the smut business. I would say not only did he succeed at that, but he made a first rate character driven drama as well. Poyser is helped considerably by a strong cast, all of whom do first rate jobs. Although there is nothing explicit in the movie, clearly the subject matter is not for everyone. For those who like movies that deal frankly with sexuality, however, I highly recommend Dear Pillow.

Good story, poor photography

[mcotoole · 12 July 2004]

I saw this film at the Pocono Mountain Film Fest. The film deals with a young man who becomes interested in creating pornographic stories. He can't communicate with his father and instead becomes friends with a older gay neighbor Dusty. Dusty is a writer in the porno industry and acts as a mentor to the boy. The project was shot on video and could have used some lighting to illuminate the actor's faces. It seems like lighting was only used when it was too dark. This film will most likely not see distribution because of the subject matter; it is however a very good effort.

very appropriate title...

[jamfires · 1/10 · 11 November 2004]

The confused attempts of the normality-aspiring adolescent (Wes) to come to terms with the disturbing relationship that existed between his parents, while overcoming his fear of (*spoiler*) earlier potential gay tendencies and finding a willing partner that will finally take away the burden of his dreaded virginity are sleep-inducing to say the least. If the movie attempts to be a description of how a boy matures, or how he gains even a tad of wisdom or experience to deal with his affective and physical quandaries, then it fails gloriously.

The whole plot evolves around 4 characters that make up a display of personalities exquisitely twisted and hopeless. Wes' father, ingeniously called 'Dad' exudes masculinity; he is the most likely candidate to symbolize the alpha male, the one with normal sexual tendencies - (possible *spoiler*) however this vain hope that the viewer might have is crushed mercilessly as Wes opens a certain drawer, revealing the disturbing truth to everyone who is there to see it.

Dusty, the boy's 'mentor' is a lonely homosexual writing erotic stories for a living and longing sadly after his former boyfriend. He aims to teach Wes not only how to write but also how to think about sex, what to do in order to get over his inhibitions and how to talk, act, think and feel in general. His splendid attempts are, alas, fought off with bravery by Wes himself.

The sexually-flaunting yet strangely self-denying and dominating Lorna serves (what seemingly is) her purpose well: her character seduces, rejects, punishes and tops off the whole picture of nevrotic, unfulfilled group of people.

The lighting and interiors of the houses contribute to the overall effect of misery, poverty and loneliness. Although the actors play their (otherwise boring) roles quite well, Dusty appears to be somewhat miscast in the role of a gay man.

The film is trying to talk about sex and porn without appearing to be a porn movie although the characters, dialogue and general style involuntarily make one think that the film is going to turn into a porn movie almost any second. And yet... such a dark shadow is cast on the idea of sex, (by oneself, in a pair, in a group, you name it) that the reasonable viewer's impression is that the moral of the film is: do not buy porn, do not make porn, do not buy sex, do not have sex, do not wear a very long fringe...

An Excellent Film...

[Astraether · 9/10 · 19 March 2004]

...and I'm not just saying that because I'm the writer/director's sister. Given the subject matter, I was actually pretty nervous about seeing the movie for the first time; it's about a 17-year-old boy who's interested in writing about porn. I didn't know what to expect, but it turned out to be both a relief, and yet more intense than I had anticipated.

Wes (Rusty Kelley) is living with his divorced Dad (Cory Criswell) and working as a bag-boy at a local grocery store. He's a bit of a loner, and his main activities are listening to phone calls on a police scanner, and griping about still being a virgin in letters to a friend. He eventually meets up with an older man, Dusty (Gary Chason), who, he discovers, makes his living by writing fake letters for an adult magazine.

Like any hormone-driven teenager, Wes' interest is piqued, and he and Dusty form a strange mentor-like friendship, based on porn. When Wes tells Dusty about the police scanner and the obscene phone calls he's been overhearing on it, Dusty is determined to find out who's making them. And so into the picture comes Lorna, the apartment manager, whose assertive sexuality adds a new dimension to the relationship developing between the three.

While the fact that the movie is about porn -- and its dark humor -- have both been draws for audiences, it never takes the easy way out with cheap laughs or convenient answers. The film doesn't preach its own morality. Viewers can read into it what they will -- find their own lessons or message, without having it painted out for them.

Definitely keep an eye out for this film. I'm sure you'll be seeing more from the team who made it.

We all need to see Dear Pillow and really reflect...

[adamdonaghey · 10/10 · 29 November 2007]

What I really liked about Dear Pillow is Bryan's sincere look at the dirty, perverse aspect of it that we like to hide underneath our beds. Where do we draw the line between the sensual and the perverse? Is there a point at which we've become far too enthralled with the process of pornography itself and not so much with sexuality? I really think Bryan's film is especially important currently, due to all the sexual outlets currently available. Like a voyeur, Dear Pillow peeps into that seedy world we'd all just as soon leave in the closet or under the mattress.

Dear Pillow also features Bryan's shorts, Grammy's and Pleasureland.

Tricky subject handled very well

[scraunch · 9/10 · 16 November 2004]

I watched this film, along with a very appreciative audience, at the Edinburgh Film Festival, and loved it, not only because it dares to examine our relationship to pornography and our own sexuality, but because it does it so well, with subtlety, respect for its characters, and a refusal to use obvious plot devices and clichés. It's no mean trick to make a funny and touching film with such potentially 'dark' subject matter. This film was a pleasant surprise!

BTW, I disagree with whoever felt that the characters were way too 'impoverished,' implying that only marginalized, blue-collar losers used porn. The film didn't treat its characters as marginalized at all, but besides, what's so terribly impoverished about living in a fairly average apartment complex?

Original.Fun. Kinky.

[acclaim-1 · 9/10 · 20 January 2004]

Well written and original screenplay about a gay pornographer (Gary Chason) who becomes a friend and mentor to a teenager who wants to become a Porn writer (Rusty Kelly) A strange non sexual, male bonding movie. Vivian Vives the hot apartment complex manager who makes sex calls is great. She plays the character with no apologies or guilt for her sexuality.

Idealized images in masturbatory fantasies

[atlantis2006 · 6 June 2011]

What happens when a confused teenager starts hanging out with a veteran pornographer? Well, suffice to say that every conversation they have revolves around sex. But what is sex in the end? Is it the required intercourse to get the female partner pregnant or is it something far more complex and symbolic? Michele Foucault wrote on his Histoire de la Sexualité that there are two clearly differentiated sexual stages. The first one is, of course, sexual intercourse; but the second one applies only for humans, and that is masturbation; masturbation inspired, or spiced, by fantasy.

In the Victorian age, as Foucault so aptly explains, sex was a concern, and masturbation was deemed as an illness, an unnecessary expenditure of vital forces. But what was even more distressing is that it was fueled by fantasy, and masturbatory fantasies, of course, would not bode well against the rigid moral codes of society.

Is masturbation no longer a taboo? Wes probably wouldn't think so, as he gets fired for jerking off during work hours. The teenage boy feels absolutely ashamed when his father finds out about this incident. Now, with more free time Wes decides to accept Dusty's invitation to have a few beers.

When Wes partakes in Dusty's hobbies, he understands some of the inner works that make the pornography industry thrive. Ultimately it all boils down to one thing: fantasy. In the same way that Wes's father finds bondage an arousing practice, Wes is unable to achieve self-satisfaction without borrowing his father's adult magazines. Dusty will explain it to him better, coining the term possession; Dusty literally says in one scene "possession of the image of the ass".

The possession of the image and nothing else. Because the human mind needs fantasy, even if there is another human being in front… What Lacan calls the phantasm is also expressed in the obsessive search of Wes's father: his vast collection of pornography has but one trait in common… the porn actresses share some resemblance with Wes's mother. The phantasmatic image is there to fill a void, a lacking that can never be truly replaced. And that also explains why the father has had no sex in over two years.

Wes is tired of being a virgin, and his horniness translates into highly erotic stories he writes and shares with Dusty. The boy wonders if he might be able to get into the adult magazines industry; and Dusty advices him to have sex first so that he can write more authentically. Of course, Dusty is homosexual, and Wes, having some homoerotic encounters with a friend his age, cannot be sure what is it that Dusty wants from him. When Wes talks to Vera, a specialist in "sex phone" (again another sort of fantasy that reinforces masturbation) he admits that anal sex turns him on. Perhaps dusty crosses the boundaries when he asks Wes and Vera to star in a home-made porn video. But ultimately, it is a necessary requirement, after all, what can be more masturbatory than that?