Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales (2002 TV Short)

Serena Berman: Lucy Van Pelt

Quotes 

• Lucy Van Pelt : You have to give me a Christmas present. It says so in the Bible.

  Linus Van Pelt : You're bluffing. The Bible says nothing about giving Christmas presents.

  Lucy Van Pelt : It doesn't?

  Linus Van Pelt : You can't bluff an old theologian.

• Lucy Van Pelt : You know why I don't want you to get me anything for Christmas? Because I know you hate me.

  Schroeder : I never said I hated you.

  Lucy Van Pelt : [shouting]  Then buy me something!

• Lucy Van Pelt : One of your Christmas cards came back. It says, "No such address".

  Linus Van Pelt : It's that girl from class. Ooh, she drives me crazy!

  Lucy Van Pelt : Why do you even bother?

  Linus Van Pelt : She fascinates me.

• Lucy Van Pelt : [yuletide greetings]  Dear Santa Claus, just a little note before you take off. I always worry about you. I hope you are in good health. Please drive carefully. Have a good trip.

  [signature] 

  Lucy Van Pelt : Affectionately yours, Lucy Van Pelt /your friend/

  [P.S] 

  Lucy Van Pelt : Merry Christmas. LUCY /your very good friend/

  [P.P.S] 

  Lucy Van Pelt : XXXXXXXXX <-- KISSES

• Linus Van Pelt : [yuletide greetings #1]  Dear Santa Claus, how have you been? Please don't get the idea that I am writing because I want something. Nothing could be further from the truth. I want nothing. Spend your time elsewhere. Don't bother with me. I really mean it. If yo want to skip our house this year, go right ahead. I won't be offended. Really I won't.

  Lucy Van Pelt : What in a world kind of letter is this?

  Linus Van Pelt : I'm hoping that he'll find my attitude peculiarly refreshing.

  Lucy Van Pelt : [crumpled the paper and throws out]  It's peculiar all right. Try again.

  Linus Van Pelt : [yuletide greetings #2]  Dear Santa Claus, how are all your reindeer? Are they well fed? Is your sleigh in good shape? Are the runners oiled? Then go, man... GO!

  [crumpled the paper and throws out] 

  Linus Van Pelt : I don't think I'd better send that.

  Linus Van Pelt : [yuletide greetings #3]  Dear Santa Claus, how have you been? How is your wife? I am not sure what I want for Christmas this year. Sometimes it is very hard to decide.

  [pause to think over] 

  Linus Van Pelt : Perhaps you should send me your catalogue.