Eating Out (I) (2004)

Scott Lunsford: Caleb Peterson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Caleb Peterson : What if he tries to grab me?

  Kyle : We're not pirates. We just dress like them... and chase bootie. He'll be just as nervous as you, so try not to punch him if he makes a move on you or anything...

  Caleb Peterson : You know, I don't think I'd punch him. I think I'd probably just start crying or something.

• [as the boys leave for their date, Gwen decides Caleb can be had] 

  Marc : Goodbye, Gwen.

  Caleb : Uh, bye, Gwen.

  Gwen : Bye...

  [the door closes] 

  Gwen : ...sexual.

• Caleb Peterson : Man, now I really wanna be a fag.

  Kyle : You and Ricky Martin both.

• Caleb : Are you looking for Mr. Right Now?

  Kyle : Please. I'll settle for Mr. Five Minutes Ago.

• [Tiffani stands in the doorway] 

  Tiffani : I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.

  Kyle : That's Mister Miss Thing to you.

  Caleb Peterson : Tiffani?

  Tiffani : You little hose huffer!

  Frank Peterson : Why don't you come join us?

  Tiffani : Gomez, Morticia, and little Wednesday.

• Caleb Peterson : Do I look gay?

  Kyle : Hmm... Like an insatiable bottom.

• Caleb Peterson : I think you turned me gay.

  Tiffani : I did not "turn you gay!" How could you say that?

  Caleb Peterson : I mean, don't take it personally.

  Tiffani : I am a person! How else am I supposed to take it?

• Kyle : You stole my boyfriend!

  Caleb Peterson : He's not your boyfriend.

  Kyle : Oh, so now you're gay?

  Caleb Peterson : This was your idea.

  Kyle : You knew how I felt about him!

  Caleb Peterson : We're not doing anything.

  Kyle : You're going on a date!

  Caleb Peterson : That was HIS idea!

  Kyle : I've been stalking him for years; you decided to be gay for one night.

  Caleb Peterson : I'm not gay! Why don't you just tell him you like him?

  Kyle : That would be as futile as drug testing at the Gay Games.

• Marc : [entering the bathroom]  We need to talk.

  Caleb Peterson : [in mid-pee]  D-dude!

  Marc : I wasn't being honest. Now, I got to talk about it now or...

  Caleb Peterson : I'm taking a leak.

  Marc : Hmm, please, I've seen it.

  Marc : [addressing the dick]  How ya doin'?

• Caleb : I'm gonna circumcise your fucking neck!

• Caleb : What the hell are you making?

  Kyle : Sausages. Big. Fat. Sausages.

  Caleb : Dude, people don't eat sausages. You're supposed to make like spaghetti or some shit.

  Kyle : Fine. You wanna cook?

• Caleb Peterson : This isn't a kegger, bro. This is, like, serious. Who'd you invite?

  Kyle : Like they said to Anne Frank, why don't you answer the door and find out?

• Kyle : Being gay is more than... listening to good music and eating low-fat foods. There are certain things you have to do to convince the general public.

  Caleb Peterson : Oh. We could stage a bashing.

• Caleb Peterson : I waited twenty-four days to have sex with you.

  Tiffani : Well, I didn't want to seem like a slut!

• [Caleb and Marc return to Marc's darkened, vacated apartment] 

  Caleb Peterson : [calling out]  Gwen!

  Marc : Oh, trust me. If she were here, she'd be all up in our pubes.