School for Seduction (2004) User Reviews

Perhaps a little more salt and pepper!

[markymnstr · 6/10 · 11 September 2006]

I analogize this movie to a good looking meal that looks like it should taste wonderful but no matter how many bites you take you can't believe how bland it is.

The sound track was appealing and livened up the atmosphere.

Definitely had its moments of humor but lacked cohesive story telling. It was like there were some good scenes, but not enough to string together. A missed opportunity that could have been a take off on Bridget Jones' Diary, or even Love Actually but fell disappointingly short.

Sophia, (Kelly Brook) was of course gorgeous. The cast, overall, did a commendable job.

Enjoyable, but not recommended.

[lastliberal · 5/10 · 6 October 2007]

Every once in a while, I like to sit back and watch a "chick flick." Writer/Director Sue Heel's first effort was mostly enjoyable as a time passer, but there is nothing special to recommend it.

Kelly Brook (House of 9) was exquisite as the Italian beauty the opened up a school for charm and seduction for ordinary London housewives. I assume it was London, but what do I know. I am still trying to figure out what a "chippy" is. She was far less believable as her secret is revealed in the third act.

It was a funny story of men/woman problems, and how a little conversation would serve us all well in our relationships.

I am still trying to figure out why this got an "R" rating. Did I fall asleep?

NOT FOR GUYS

[nogodnomasters · 4/10 · 20 May 2018]

This is a movie for women. If you are expecting a teenage sex comedy romp with gratuitous nudity, this is not your film.

Kelly Brook sporting a bad Italian accent-yes? comes to Newcastle and opens up a school for seduction. It is in part a confidence school for the women, who try what they learn in class at home, but without the kind of results that they hoped for. The results border on comedy and tragedy as the women come to terms that the problems in their life have nothing to do with their ability to seduce. For the guys you might want to check out Kelly Brook stroking a broom handle. There is no full frontal female nudity, just male from behind nudity.

The frequent use of boring Italian music soundtrack was too much to endure. The movie is not hilarious or brilliant. The cockney accents were so thick, that at times I had difficulty understanding the dialogue, for what it was worth. Gals, do your guy a favor and don't make him watch this movie as all men are stupid and self-centered (so what else is new?).

Patronising

[info-2022 · 1/10 · 8 December 2004]

(3/10)

So obviously made as a female take on 'The Full Monty', this film is so carefully constructed according to a 'formula' that all life has been almost totally sucked out of it (except for the actress who plays the checkout girl, she's pretty good). Typically British, unadventurous, predictable, visually flat (it looks like an ITV drama) and not very funny. Also, Kelly Brook acts OK, has a great figure, and a lovely smile to boot, but frankly she isn't the 10-out-of-10 stunner that this character is supposed to be. It's obviously been made as a vehicle for her, but she has been miscast!

Very difficult to care about any of the characters

[mediaskills · 1/10 · 17 May 2006]

In 'School for Seduction' I was hoping for a northern British comedy in the mould of 'Billy Elliot' or 'The Full Monty' ... or a lesser known gem such as 'The Bare Necessities' (1996). To be fair, the film does have some well-observed moments which could make good sketches in a female-viewpoint TV comedy show such as 'Smack the Pony'. However, as a full-length feature this movie is awful. The men are one-dimensional stereotypes straight from central casting whilst the women fare little better. The real-life Tyneside women I know are, without exception, stronger, wittier and a damn sight sexier than any of the cut-outs portrayed here. The cast do their best to inject some life into the lines they're given but as each character plods her way through an entirely predictable plot line it is difficult to sustain interest. Add a plot twist which is, in the true sense of the word, incredible and the production sinks without trace. For sisterhood solidarity movies give me 'Real Women Have Curves' or 'Beauty Shop'; for Northern British comedy give me 'Brassed off' or 'Blow Dry'. 'School for Seduction' - it just sucks.

Kelly Brook Answer to Dick Van Dyke!

[cynet-52332 · 2/10 · 20 January 2022]

A very unfunny feminist movie where Kelly Brook Italian accent is actually worst when Dick Van Dyke tried to do cockney London.

Not much to say really that the film is for women who need some guidance on their naff relationship!

Awful just awful!

enjoyable

[eastbergholt2002 · 7/10 · 14 October 2007]

School for Seduction is a charming and mildly entertaining film about a bunch of women who mostly work at an Asda supermarket in Newcastle. Their men either don't understand them or take them for granted. They decide to become sexier and more confident and take a course in seduction run by Kelly Brook. Inevitably as they start to take charge of their lives, their outlook and relationships start to change. The acting is excellent and the characters are believable. Sue Heel has written an amusing script.

The film doesn't try and appeal to a trans-Atlantic audience, so there are no-American stars. It just looks like life in Newcastle, warts and all. As a British expat living in the U.S. it was good to be reminded about the existence of saveloys and chips.

A funny carefully crafted British comedy

[colin-200 · 8/10 · 26 December 2004]

The long and sometimes unfairly maligned tradition of British comedy films is still alive and kicking - thanks be! I saw this film as an in-flight movie between Heathrow and JFK. There were about 8 other films that passengers could chose from including the latest Hollywood blockbusters. Given the loud laughs and cheers that broke out all round the jumbo jet just at the points where I was doing likewise there is no doubt in my mind that this film was being enjoyed by many. This is a well observed, well written and carefully crafted film. There are delightful performances from some of the cream of British light comedy actors. Dervla Kirwan, with her smouldering good looks, initially had me worried playing an averagely inhibited wife, but she carried it off and her performance gained from the difference between her appearance and behaviour. British comedies can either be too smugly Home Counties based or too self consciously "up north" but despite being based around Tyneside this film neatly avoids being obsessed by its location . This may not be high art, this may not convey any serious messages but the important task of entertaining and making people laugh, which this film does admirably, should not be underestimated.

At last, a film you won't mind your girlfriend choosing!

[iankeegan · 10/10 · 8 December 2004]

I was dragged along to see School For Seduction by my girlfriend who was dying to see the film. I have to say, I'm glad I went!

The film was highly entertaining, and not just because I was able to watch Kelly Brook seduce everything from a broomstick to a room full of salivating men (a lot better than watching miss jones wibbling into her diary about hugh grant, I can tell you!). There was more than enough laughs, an engaging plot and some good emotional parts (for the ladies, of course).

So, if you want to earn yourself some brownie points with that special lady in your life, take her to see School For Seduction (and you won't have to suffer the usual drawl that your average chick-flick spits out)

A group of city women take a course in seduction given by an Italian sex goddess

[davidurieli · 10/10 · 18 December 2007]

This brilliant film is typical of the low budget type involving no special effect or set and needing no well known actors. It is in the same style as 4 weddings and a funeral, letter to Brezhnev, the full Monty, groundhog day, etc. very well written, funny and uplifting. A group of friends are in dead end jobs or relationships or suffer chronic lack of self confidence and are shown how to act the part even if they can't be the part until their life really changes. Can't understand the low rating some people gave it. This is way above the general popular run of the mill, blockbuster for sheer enjoyment and actually tells you something useful too. Added to that it is spoken in broad Geordie, my favourite accent in the world. Feminists might hate it for the mixed messages on sexuality, partly about female empowerment, partly about looking good for your man. I think it comes down decidedly on the former side.

hilarious, and a bit serious too!

[nzpedals · 9/10 · 21 April 2016]

I don't remember laughing so much at any film! There are just so many good scenes, with great acting, moments of silence, surprised looks and just funny, funny.

Most of that comes from the great writing, but all the actors have to do their stuff too, and they do, even the males who mostly are made out to be total idiots, and up themselves.

It starts out in Italy where a bunch of girls are being taught, one of them is Sophia, (Kelly Brook) who promptly walks out on her stupid husband and heads back to Newcastle, England, where she was brought up and went to school.

She sets up similar school, to teach woman to be themselves, and gets some really interesting clients, mostly women whose partners don't seem to appreciate them. It helps the film that all the women are stunningly beautiful, and the guys are also quite good looking.

Emily Woof, Dervla Kirwan are great, and Tim Healy as a middle-aged guy and his wife give a different, and funny, slant on proceedings. Ben Porter is Toni, a drag queen. This guy has real talent, his song and dance scene is so good I'd love to see more!

Nearly a ten rating, but the last few minutes get a bit too serious.