Duke Nukem Forever (2011 Video Game)

Jon St. John: Duke Nukem, Guy on Throne

Quotes 

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills a Pig Cop] 

  Duke Nukem : Who wants white meat, huh? Who wants it?

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills a Pig Cop] 

  Duke Nukem : Pork chop sandwiches!

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy] 

  Duke Nukem : When you get to hell, tell'em Duke sent ya!

• [says it sometimes when Duke breaks open an EDF item crate] 

  Duke Nukem : Oh yeah! More equipment means more "ass kickin'"!

• [says it sometimes when Duke picks up a rat and kills it by squishing it] 

  Duke Nukem : See you later, Mickey!

• Duke Nukem : I promised I'd kill you last, I lied!

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : What the hell? No! Come on! No! This is disgusting!

• [When Duke faces the Alien Queen in the Queen Bitch chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Baby, you make me wish I had three guns.

• [When Duke stomps on a shrunken enemy in Duke Burger chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : You want fries with that?

• [says it in the beginning of Underground: Part 2 chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : This is gonna fuck up my hair.

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy] 

  Duke Nukem : I'm from Las Vegas and I say "kill'em all!"

• [from trailer] 

  Duke Nukem : I'm looking for some alien toilet to park my bricks. Who's first?

• Duke Nukem : Ohhh. Mmmm. Oooo. Oh, oh yeah, right there. Oh yeah.

  The Twins : [Mary Holsom]  That was fun! Was it good for you, baby?

  [Kate Holsom giggles] 

  The Twins : [Kate Holsom]  What about the game, Duke? Was it any good?

  [giggles] 

  Duke Nukem : Yeah, but after twelve fucking years, it should be!

  The Twins : [Mary Holsom]  Well, any time you wanna play again, just let us know!

  [giggles] 

  The Twins : [Kate Holsom giggles] 

• EDF Voices : [Showing Duke some power armor resembling Master Chief's armor]  Duke! We got your green power armor over here and ready to go!

  Duke Nukem : Power armor is for pussies!

  EDF Voices : Oh... well, okay. Uh... you want a gun instead?

• Duke Nukem : You're one ugly motherfucker!

• Duke Nukem : If it bleeds I can kill it!

• Duke Nukem : Have a taste of my ball!

• [first lines] 

  Duke Nukem : I'm back, baby!

• Duke Nukem : [pissing]  This is taking forever. Time to stop pissing around and get this big guy back into action.

• Father : Excuse me, er... Duke Nukem? Yeah, my kid's a real big fan.

  [lowers his voice and pats his son on the back] 

  Father : Go on and ask him, Jimmy.

  Little Jimmy : Mr. Nukem! W-will you sign this for me?

  [gives Duke his book "Why I'm So Great"] 

  Duke Nukem : Sure, kid. But I better not find this on EBay.

  [autographs the book] 

  Little Jimmy : I wanna grow up to be just like you!

  Duke Nukem : Take your pills... er, vitamins every day, and you might grow up to be as awesome as me.

  Little Jimmy : Wow! Thank you, Mr. Nukem! Wow! He's so cool!

  Father : Yeah, I thought he'd be taller.

• [says it after seeing the decapitated corpses of one of the EDF soldiers with collectible weapons in The Hive chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Advance team my ass...

• [says it after performing his finishing moves on the Battlelord followed by his repeated punching to the Battlelord's groin] 

  Duke Nukem : Right in the jewel!

• [says it after seeing Isaac Clarke's helmet near the decapitated corpse in The Hive] 

  Duke Nukem : That's one "dead space" marine.

• [says it sometimes after opening one of the doors in The Hive chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : I thought this was exit only.

• [says it sometimes when Duke slaps the three breast on the wall] 

  Duke Nukem : Got milk?

• [says it sometimes when Duke slaps the three breast on the wall] 

  Duke Nukem : Sooo wrong, yet, sooo right!

• [says it sometimes when Duke slaps the three breast on the wall] 

  Duke Nukem : Hmm. Strange silicone-based lifeform.

• [says it sometimes when Duke slaps the three breast on the wall] 

  Duke Nukem : Time for an examination, ladies!

• [says it at one point when Duke is near the early part of the Crash Course chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Well look at that... you can see my dick from here!

• [after defeating the Octotaking in the Generator Room chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : There can only be one king... you fuck.

• [When Duke faces the Cycloid Emperor in the Final Battle chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : I'm gonna rip your eye out and piss on your brain, you alien dirtbag!

• [after the end sequence] 

  Duke Nukem : What kind of shit ending is that? I ain't dead, I'm coming back for more!

• [When Duke stomps on a shrunken enemy] 

  Duke Nukem : King Kong ain't got shit on me!

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy with melee attacks] 

  Duke Nukem : Bada Bing!

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy with melee attacks] 

  Duke Nukem : Up close and personal.

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy] 

  Duke Nukem : Oh yeah. It's ass kickin' time!

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy] 

  Duke Nukem : My balls, your face.

• Duke Nukem : [sometimes after killing an Octagon]  Take your tentacles back to Japan, you freak!

• Duke Nukem : [using a wrecking ball to break down a wall while killing an enemy in the process]  Have a taste of my ball!

• Duke Nukem : [losing at pinball]  I've got balls of fail!

• Duke Nukem : Quit bleedin', pussy!

• [says it sometimes when Duke puts an enslaved woman out of her misery in The Hive chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Sorry, babe. But it's better this way...

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : Now what? Shit-fingerpainting?

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : What the fuck?

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : What am I, a chimpanzee?

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : What kind of sick motherfucker picks up wet feces?

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : A turd in the hand is worth two in the bush.

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : [silently angry at himself]  Why am I doing this?

• [says it in the beginning of The Hive: Part 2 chapter after knocking down a webbed corpse] 

  Duke Nukem : Thanks for hangin' out.

• [says it after EDF soldier Leeroy gets killed by an alien attack in Vegas in Ruins chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Dammit Leeroy!

• [says it sometimes when Duke puts an enslaved woman out of her misery in The Hive chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : She wasn't human anymore...

• [says it when Duke picks up a Devastator in Crash Course chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Double the pleasure!

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : Ugh, no! What am I doing?

• [When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"] 

  Duke Nukem : Ugh, this is gross! I've got to get rid of this!

• [When Duke stomps on a shrunken enemy in Duke Burger chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Better than feckle-bitches!

• [When Duke stomps on a shrunken enemy in Duke Burger chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Order up!

• [says it after getting in a monster truck in The Mighty Foot chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Fasten your seatbelts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

• [says it after getting out of his monster truck sunk as it sank into the river in the Dam Top chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Aw, and it got such good gas mileage.

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy with a forklift in The Forkstop chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Fork you!

• [says it after leaving behind the forklift to proceed to the next area in The Forkstop chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Alright. Time to quit 'forkin' around'.

• [says it sometimes when Duke puts an enslaved woman out of her misery in The Hive chapter] 

  Duke Nukem : Dammit!

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills a small alien] 

  Duke Nukem : You're spent!

• [says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy] 

  Duke Nukem : Douche!

• [says it sometimes when Duke breaks open an EDF item crate] 

  Duke Nukem : I'm gonna ninja this!

• [last lines] 

  Reporter : Duke, now that the aliens are dead and you've saved the world once again, uh... what are you going to do?

  Duke Nukem : I'm gonna run for President. Hail to the king, baby!

• Duke Nukem : I'm gonna kill you, old style.

  [Reference to old Ventrilo Harassment video]