- Hiker #1: Hey, let's trade packs awhile. This one's gettin' heavy.
- Hiker #2: Why should I? It's your pack.
- Hiker #1: Yeah, but I got all the weight.
- Hiker #2: You got what you need and I got what I need.
- Hiker #1: Whadda you got in there, anyway?
- Hiker #2: Blanket, a fifth of tequila and a box of rice.
- Hiker #1: You call that camping?
- Hiker #2: I call that hiking.
- Stranger: Hey, is this a private party?
- Mike's Friend: Right now it is, uh, so why don't you go jack off.
- Shower Attendant: Come on, guys. Knock that shit off. I'm trying to clean.
- Man in Shower #1: Fuck you. I paid to get in here.