First off, this movie is not to be taken seriously or compared to other Ninja movies. It is a total comedy/parody. If you are not a fan of ninja movies then see this! If you are a fan of ninja movies and have a sense of humor then see this! The character Action fighter is Jemaine Clement who is one half of Flight of the Conchords, a comedy act. They are a wonderful act so it ties into the comedy of this film. This comedy is what I call stupid funny, it is so stupid that it is funny! It is from a bunch of comedic friends who decided to make a movie, pretty good effort! What is nice as well are the extras like commentary, and the making of the film which is also funny. Seriously, take this movie lightly and enjoy some good laughs!
23 Reviews
A Nutshell Review: Tongan Ninja
DICK STEEL12 May 2008
Watching Tongan Ninja is like watching a movie so deliberately bad, it's good! Which is not surprising, given that the creative brains of Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie behind Flight of the Conchords, had a hand in crafting the zany scenes, crazy dialogue and mind- boggling tongue in cheek action sequences. It's like watching a kid's cartoon come alive, though it comes with a tinge of unexpected violence as well to make it more adult.
The basic structure follows that of Bruce Lee's Way/Return of the Dragon, where a martial arts practitioner get sent to protect a restaurant from thugs who come asking for protection money. Sam Manu plays Sione Finau aka Tongan Ninja the titular character, whose tragic background of his father being killed by a fish haunts him into adulthood. Growing up in a Pacific island where he learns his ninja skills, he gets sent by his master to New Zealand to help a friend in need, represented by Miss Lee (Linda Tseng) whom he falls in love with.
You know it's gonna be mindless fun with slapstick humour when the villains are caricatures such as Kinfe Man, Gun Man and his arch-nemesis Action Man (played by Jemaine Clement himself) with whom is under the same ninja tutelage. The fights don't take themselves seriously, as it really hammed up every cliché you can find in bad action movies. From funny character names to funny action moves coupled with cheesily bad special effects, everyone's acting is really over the top, and therein lies the fun factor when watching the movie, complete with spaghetti western styled dialogue and dubbed voices that are never in sync.
What also worked here are the zany song and dance sequences, which acted as a precursor of the later collaboration between Clement and McKenzie. In fact, if you pay attention to the lyrics that are sung during these sequences, that's half the fun already as you're likely to have been chuckling along.
So don't expect quality production values with polished acting. You can tell these folks had a lot of fun spoofing the genre and probably had a great time on set, and this shows up in the product in all honesty. It doesn't bite off more than it can chew, and provides for some really enjoyable entertainment.
The basic structure follows that of Bruce Lee's Way/Return of the Dragon, where a martial arts practitioner get sent to protect a restaurant from thugs who come asking for protection money. Sam Manu plays Sione Finau aka Tongan Ninja the titular character, whose tragic background of his father being killed by a fish haunts him into adulthood. Growing up in a Pacific island where he learns his ninja skills, he gets sent by his master to New Zealand to help a friend in need, represented by Miss Lee (Linda Tseng) whom he falls in love with.
You know it's gonna be mindless fun with slapstick humour when the villains are caricatures such as Kinfe Man, Gun Man and his arch-nemesis Action Man (played by Jemaine Clement himself) with whom is under the same ninja tutelage. The fights don't take themselves seriously, as it really hammed up every cliché you can find in bad action movies. From funny character names to funny action moves coupled with cheesily bad special effects, everyone's acting is really over the top, and therein lies the fun factor when watching the movie, complete with spaghetti western styled dialogue and dubbed voices that are never in sync.
What also worked here are the zany song and dance sequences, which acted as a precursor of the later collaboration between Clement and McKenzie. In fact, if you pay attention to the lyrics that are sung during these sequences, that's half the fun already as you're likely to have been chuckling along.
So don't expect quality production values with polished acting. You can tell these folks had a lot of fun spoofing the genre and probably had a great time on set, and this shows up in the product in all honesty. It doesn't bite off more than it can chew, and provides for some really enjoyable entertainment.
Inconsistently funny
siderite9 December 2010
This New Zeeland movie is about a boy trained as a ninja on one of the isles of the Tongan archipelago. One he grows up he must save the girl, defeat his archnemesis and face his fears. It is a spoof of (bad) Asian kung-fu movies and sometimes is it hilarious. Most of the time, though, it is plain boring. And it is strange, because both in montage and directing, the people involved show a lot of talent. The actors are clearly having a lot of fun, too. By all means, this should have been great, but it was only marginally funny.
A highlight of the movie is the presence of Jemaine Clement, one of the funny guys from Flight of the Conchords, also a writer for the movie, as the psychopathic Action Fighter. That's a bunch of laughs. Unfortunately for the movie, he is the only funny thing in it.
Bottom line: Had potential, but it ultimately failed as a comedy.
A highlight of the movie is the presence of Jemaine Clement, one of the funny guys from Flight of the Conchords, also a writer for the movie, as the psychopathic Action Fighter. That's a bunch of laughs. Unfortunately for the movie, he is the only funny thing in it.
Bottom line: Had potential, but it ultimately failed as a comedy.
So bad it's good!
mighty_pickman15 November 2004
I accidentally stumbled across this film while pay-TV channel surfing & I was left in stitches of this high farce. This film really does fall into the category of "it's so bad it's good".
The great thing about Tongan Ninja is that it doesn't take itself seriously, it knows that it is cheap, silly & instead of trying hide from this cheapness, it revels in it.
Dodgy stunts, bad & unnecessary dubbing, bad guys giving a runny commentary of themselves being beaten up by Tongan Ninja, a love story and a fearsome looking All Blacks rugby star, Tongan Ninja has it all! Catch it if you get the chance & leave your brains at the door.
The great thing about Tongan Ninja is that it doesn't take itself seriously, it knows that it is cheap, silly & instead of trying hide from this cheapness, it revels in it.
Dodgy stunts, bad & unnecessary dubbing, bad guys giving a runny commentary of themselves being beaten up by Tongan Ninja, a love story and a fearsome looking All Blacks rugby star, Tongan Ninja has it all! Catch it if you get the chance & leave your brains at the door.
A parody that clearly demonstrates the fun of filmmaking.
smccar773 March 2011
"The Tongan Ninja," is a low budget parody of 70's and 80's martial arts films from Asia. The clearest comparison is with "Kung Pow! Enter the Fist," a film released slightly earlier in the same year. Both of these films are send ups of the various clichés and gaffs typical to kung fu and ninja films. TN distinguishes itself not in quality of SFX or novelty; rather, TN stands out because it exudes a sense of joy and enjoyment that the film makers had. The title of this film is an immediate clue to the overall theme and technical quality of the film. What sets this entry into the parody genre apart is the way in which it was executed.
As with all parody, this film assumes that the audience will find mockery of details funny. TN pays very close attention to the slipshod practices of previous martial arts film makers. The result of this attention is a film that lambastes dubbing, poor writing, awkward/unrealistic romance, and absurd plot devices. The effect is very amusing. Unlike films that attempt to fill 90 minutes with as many gags and jokes as possible, TN remains consistent with the gaffs that it parodies. By limiting the extent of mockery, TN allows itself to develop an actual alternate world which is populated by naïve, stupid, and very funny people. A second, and more risky assumption, is that an "action" film can be successful if dialog driven. This does seem a contradiction in terms. How is it that a film, one which relies on fight scenes and mortal combat, can rely on so much exposition and dialog? The movie answers this by providing over the top silly dialog that touches on every oddity found in Martial Arts film dubs. Repetition, awkward translations of common "Asian" sayings, ridiculously misplaced commentary, and colorful threats all blend together to create a truly hilarious experience.
TN is not without faults. The reliance on dialog does lead the story to drag at points. In addition, the repetition is just that, repetitive. However, these problems are easily forgiven when one actually feels this movie. To clarify the last sentence, this film conveys the joy and fun of the film makers. Possibly an example will help. We have all seen the uninspired formulaic film which is clearly made in an attempt to tidy up budgets and possibly make a small profit. These films are by no means "bad," yet they lack the ethereal quality of "Fun." TN exudes a sense of enjoyment. It is quite palpable how this production was relished by all involved. As the audience looses themselves in this happy mood, the film becomes all the more enjoyable.
On a personal note, I will be highly recommending "The Tongan Ninja," to friends. This is perfect movie night fare. The lovingly crafted crappiness makes a wonderful pairing with beer and greasy food. 6 of 10 stars.
As with all parody, this film assumes that the audience will find mockery of details funny. TN pays very close attention to the slipshod practices of previous martial arts film makers. The result of this attention is a film that lambastes dubbing, poor writing, awkward/unrealistic romance, and absurd plot devices. The effect is very amusing. Unlike films that attempt to fill 90 minutes with as many gags and jokes as possible, TN remains consistent with the gaffs that it parodies. By limiting the extent of mockery, TN allows itself to develop an actual alternate world which is populated by naïve, stupid, and very funny people. A second, and more risky assumption, is that an "action" film can be successful if dialog driven. This does seem a contradiction in terms. How is it that a film, one which relies on fight scenes and mortal combat, can rely on so much exposition and dialog? The movie answers this by providing over the top silly dialog that touches on every oddity found in Martial Arts film dubs. Repetition, awkward translations of common "Asian" sayings, ridiculously misplaced commentary, and colorful threats all blend together to create a truly hilarious experience.
TN is not without faults. The reliance on dialog does lead the story to drag at points. In addition, the repetition is just that, repetitive. However, these problems are easily forgiven when one actually feels this movie. To clarify the last sentence, this film conveys the joy and fun of the film makers. Possibly an example will help. We have all seen the uninspired formulaic film which is clearly made in an attempt to tidy up budgets and possibly make a small profit. These films are by no means "bad," yet they lack the ethereal quality of "Fun." TN exudes a sense of enjoyment. It is quite palpable how this production was relished by all involved. As the audience looses themselves in this happy mood, the film becomes all the more enjoyable.
On a personal note, I will be highly recommending "The Tongan Ninja," to friends. This is perfect movie night fare. The lovingly crafted crappiness makes a wonderful pairing with beer and greasy food. 6 of 10 stars.
Bad, bad movie (contains minor spoilers)
TeMahia9 January 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I just saw this movie on DVD. It was truly, truly awful. I tried to like it.
Yes, I understood it was a spoof, but really, it was appalling. The jokes fell flat. The dubbing which at first was amusing, became very irritating.
I couldn't see what market the film was aimed at. No matter which one it was, I feel it missed on all points.
For no reason, there was at least one brief musical scene (when Chef Guy thinks Sione is a restaurant customer) that just further detracted from the plot line. I don't remember any musical scenes in any Bruce Lee movies.
The only amusing bits on the DVD were the extras.
The Beat Girls performing at the Bar in the club scene was one of the very very few highlights.
Don't waste your time unless you're a kiwi who likes early Bruce Lee movies.
Yes, I understood it was a spoof, but really, it was appalling. The jokes fell flat. The dubbing which at first was amusing, became very irritating.
I couldn't see what market the film was aimed at. No matter which one it was, I feel it missed on all points.
For no reason, there was at least one brief musical scene (when Chef Guy thinks Sione is a restaurant customer) that just further detracted from the plot line. I don't remember any musical scenes in any Bruce Lee movies.
The only amusing bits on the DVD were the extras.
The Beat Girls performing at the Bar in the club scene was one of the very very few highlights.
Don't waste your time unless you're a kiwi who likes early Bruce Lee movies.
Very silly
briancham19941 June 2020
Dubious at first, but gee I laughed...
spidermatt0123 October 2005
My wife got this movie out and I wasn't happy. However, it turned out to be one of the best "bad" movies I've ever seen. The post dubbing is particularly enjoyable, with large sequences dubbed in where there is no mouth movement at all. The dubbing is also fun on the crowd scenes. Large groups of baddies run toward the Tongan Ninja saying: "I'm ready to fight" and "I've got a big sword" etc. The fight sequences are a treat. Initially I was disappointed (I love a good fight), but as the style of the piece grew on me, I just enjoyed the sheer tackiness of it all. The final fight sequence is hilarious. If you want a good laugh this film is highly recommended.
The joy of bad.
imdb-127181 June 2006
You are pretty sure you are onto a winner when the person at the video store can't help telling you how fantastic a movie is.
Another good sign is when the missus, who generally loathes both chop socky films and goofy brainless humour, is choking for breath halfway through because she is laughing so hard.
As other reviewers have said, see this with a bunch of like-minded friends in a happy mood if you want a joyful evening. The fights! The dialogue! The car chase! The special effects! And make sure you watch the extras on the DVD. Not yer average "Making Of", trailers or TV spots...
Another good sign is when the missus, who generally loathes both chop socky films and goofy brainless humour, is choking for breath halfway through because she is laughing so hard.
As other reviewers have said, see this with a bunch of like-minded friends in a happy mood if you want a joyful evening. The fights! The dialogue! The car chase! The special effects! And make sure you watch the extras on the DVD. Not yer average "Making Of", trailers or TV spots...
Almost too funny.
zellwood16 September 2006
I own the DVD. I had to have it. It is just unfortunate that this piece of cinematic brilliance (Use your own judgment) only screened once in New Zealand (and as an ARTS film ?!?) when it received accolades in countries such as Finland and Bulgaria! I recommend it to anyone with a NZ sense of humor and also anyone who liked Kung Pow. I recommend it to all my friends. Then I hear that they recommended it to all their friends as well. I am still waiting for someone to tell me they did not like this move.
Be sure to check out the special features too. Lord of the Ring's Peter Jackson displays a rare view of his acting talent. If he is for this movie - you should be too!
Be sure to check out the special features too. Lord of the Ring's Peter Jackson displays a rare view of his acting talent. If he is for this movie - you should be too!
B-grade plus
nick-argall25 June 2004
Shot in English, and dubbed into English (because they couldn't afford location-based sound recording), Tongan Ninja sets out to be one of the worst films of all time and succeeds beautifully. Our one-dimensional hero is pitted against a variety of one-dimensional enemies, including Knife Man (who uses a knife), Gun Man (who uses a gun) and Action Fighter (who had the assistance of wire team from Lord of the Rings). It tells you something about a movie when the director's commentary features lines like "We were very lucky and had the use of the Lord of the Rings wire team for two weeks. But we had to ask them to make it look cheaper and messier, so it would match the rest of the movie." I'm a big fan of DVD special features. The 'making of' featurette features wonderful interviews with Peter Jackson and the director of Shrek, telling some very inventive lies about their admiration for this movie. The director's commentary is a wonderful insight into the labour of love that no-budget film-making can be, and the actor's commentary is a wonderful insight into actors who are deeply embarrassed to be in such a cheap movie. If you can enjoy bad action movies, this one is absolutely priceless.
"He was killed... by a fish!"
toxiemite20 September 2005
I read a review of this film which compared it to Bruce Lee's Way of the Dragon. What really astounded me about this review was that it's author actually took this movie seriously, as if it were striving for acceptance as a martial arts film.
Why is this world full of people who take things too literally and lack a sense of humour? Tongan Ninja is an hysterical little (dare I say) home-made indy picture with the sole purpose of generating a laugh or two. I don't think there was a 20 second gap in which i wasn't laughing.
To get the most out of this film, do as I did and gather a lot of friends together and watch it in numbers.... unless you are one of the mentioned people I spoke of before who don't have a sense of humour and take everything in life literally (you are the people who will die prematurely). I guarantee you will cack yourself stupid! If you're a fan of Kung-Pow... see Tongan Ninja. If anything, watch it for the opening credit sequence. Pure Gold!
Why is this world full of people who take things too literally and lack a sense of humour? Tongan Ninja is an hysterical little (dare I say) home-made indy picture with the sole purpose of generating a laugh or two. I don't think there was a 20 second gap in which i wasn't laughing.
To get the most out of this film, do as I did and gather a lot of friends together and watch it in numbers.... unless you are one of the mentioned people I spoke of before who don't have a sense of humour and take everything in life literally (you are the people who will die prematurely). I guarantee you will cack yourself stupid! If you're a fan of Kung-Pow... see Tongan Ninja. If anything, watch it for the opening credit sequence. Pure Gold!
Crazily awesome
AwesomeWolf17 May 2005
I know I use the word 'awesome' a lot, I just happen to watch a lot of crazy awesome movies. I can't help it. I don't actively seek them out, they just find a way of ending up on my TV or in my DVD player. Anyway, where was I? 'Awesome'. I use the word 'awesome' frequently, and I'll admit that I'm not even using it correctly in more than a few cases. However, 'awesome' is my way of indicating a given movie's coolness level, and such a little word is so much more descriptive than a silly rating system involving numbers and stars. For example, I believe I rated 'Wild Zero' as 10 stars, 'Versus' as 9 stars, and 'Battlefield Baseball' as 8 stars, but I do believe I said each one is awesome. Numbers are so inaccurate, and can't describe such movies. 'Awesome' is so much more descriptive.
Now you may be asking "But how does all this relate to 'Tongan Ninja'?". Well, you see Billy, any number I give to 'Tongan Ninja' would be grossly unfair, as it would not be taking both the awesomeness of 'Tongan Ninja' and its value as a movie into account (see my review of 'Killer Meteors'. However, if I were to simply say 'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome, that would say so much more: it would say that anyone easily amused will enjoy it, and then people of any class and refinement should avoid it entirely.
'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome.
Sione (Sam Manu) is the Tongan Ninja. As a child, he survived a plane crash caused by Marvin (Jemaine Clement), who has since grown up to be an evil ninja and Sione's rival. Marvin makes it a point to frequently remind Sione that Sione's father survived, only to be eaten by a fish. The adult Sione is sent to New Zealand by their ninja mentor, Master Magasaki, to protect a restaurant in true 'Way of the Dragon' style. But the evil ninja Marvin is not far behind...
In all its crazy awesomeness, 'Tongan Ninja' is a spoof on old kung-fu movies. Hell, the plot is taken from Bruce Lee's 'Way of the Dragon', just with some extra creative license. Its a funny movie, messing around with the stereotypical plot elements (dead fathers, "I am your father", the greatest fighter of whatever style), bad dubbing, and making most of the very limited budget they had instead of trying to hide from being cheap. The fight scenes serve to amuse as comedy, not as true fight scenes, and the action goes way over the top but manages to stay funny throughout the movie.
Cheap and wacky, 'Tongan Ninja' isn't obviously going to appeal to everyone. However, anyone who likes their movies cheap and wacky (not to mention crazily awesome) will enjoy this.
Now you may be asking "But how does all this relate to 'Tongan Ninja'?". Well, you see Billy, any number I give to 'Tongan Ninja' would be grossly unfair, as it would not be taking both the awesomeness of 'Tongan Ninja' and its value as a movie into account (see my review of 'Killer Meteors'. However, if I were to simply say 'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome, that would say so much more: it would say that anyone easily amused will enjoy it, and then people of any class and refinement should avoid it entirely.
'Tongan Ninja' is crazily awesome.
Sione (Sam Manu) is the Tongan Ninja. As a child, he survived a plane crash caused by Marvin (Jemaine Clement), who has since grown up to be an evil ninja and Sione's rival. Marvin makes it a point to frequently remind Sione that Sione's father survived, only to be eaten by a fish. The adult Sione is sent to New Zealand by their ninja mentor, Master Magasaki, to protect a restaurant in true 'Way of the Dragon' style. But the evil ninja Marvin is not far behind...
In all its crazy awesomeness, 'Tongan Ninja' is a spoof on old kung-fu movies. Hell, the plot is taken from Bruce Lee's 'Way of the Dragon', just with some extra creative license. Its a funny movie, messing around with the stereotypical plot elements (dead fathers, "I am your father", the greatest fighter of whatever style), bad dubbing, and making most of the very limited budget they had instead of trying to hide from being cheap. The fight scenes serve to amuse as comedy, not as true fight scenes, and the action goes way over the top but manages to stay funny throughout the movie.
Cheap and wacky, 'Tongan Ninja' isn't obviously going to appeal to everyone. However, anyone who likes their movies cheap and wacky (not to mention crazily awesome) will enjoy this.
Great fun
clearwtr21 October 2004
Well-pitched parody. Its strength is that it doesn't take itself seriously but clearly appreciates (and sweetly imitates) the over-dubbed corny kung fu movie genre. The DVD commentary is very loose and laid-back (often funny) but explains why the movie was so suited to parodying this style: it took 3 years to film, on a minimal budget. The over-dubbing was necessary because they couldn't afford sound recording on set. It was a simple extra step to deliberately mis-time the dubbing (or you could take the word of the lead actor that they were all carefully schooled in the art of speaking lines out of sync with their lips). A cult movie, best viewed with a group of friends, some popcorn and a few beers. I highly recommend the "extras" on the DVD: hilarious cast interviews as well as interviews with Peter Jackson (who always wanted to make the movie, couldn't get the rights and had to settle for making LOTR).
Matrix eat your heart out
lordrabbi27 August 2003
What a fantastic movie, its so bad (which its trying to be) you can not help but laugh. Shot on location in good old Wellington, what kiwi (or any one else looking for a laugh) could pass up watching what should be considered a classic New Zealand movie.
This movie has all the great makings of a Hong Kong martial arts B Movie, the bad dubbing, the tragic death of a family member, a mystic martial arts teacher and good guy against impossible odds.
The fight scenes against the ninjas (mainly the one where Tongan ninja infiltrates the so called syndicate) are a joy to behold, its like watching that old Amiga game International Karate.
This movie has all the great makings of a Hong Kong martial arts B Movie, the bad dubbing, the tragic death of a family member, a mystic martial arts teacher and good guy against impossible odds.
The fight scenes against the ninjas (mainly the one where Tongan ninja infiltrates the so called syndicate) are a joy to behold, its like watching that old Amiga game International Karate.
3.5 stars (out of 4)
mweston20 February 2003
This is a wonderful parody of Hong Kong action films, and also of "Star Wars," "Titanic," Quentin Tarantino, and probably many other things I've forgotten.
The film starts with two kids in an airplane piloted by the father of one of them, somewhere over the south Pacific. Marvin is not the pilot's son and is clearly Trouble--he refuses to stop kicking the back of the seat in front of him. Sione is the son of the pilot, and grows up to become the title character under the training of Master Magasaki. He doesn't *seem* much like a Ninja, though. He's more like a big, bumbling kid.
The look is intentionally that of a low budget Asian action movie, which is probably at least partially motivated by the fact that *this* film has a low budget. None of the acting is very good, many of the characters are dubbed (badly, for effect), and it looks like it was shot on video. In one particularly funny scene, you see a microphone stick down into the shot, and you think that it is a mistake. The second time, you decide it's probably intentional, at which point you see one of the characters on screen reach up, grab the microphone boom, and begin to use it as a weapon.
But wait! There's more! It's also a musical! And a floor wax! No, not really a floor wax, but it is a musical, complete with an Elvis, and with go-go dancers who suddenly appear for a musical number and just as suddenly disappear.
This is a film of continuous little jokes, like a Ninja having to move his mask each time he wants to take a drink. Think of it like "Airplane!" for the 21st century.
Seen on 11/8/2002 at the 2002 Hawaii International Film Festival, where an earlier showing was the U.S. premiere. Assuming it gets home video or theatrical distribution, you should definitely seek it out.
The film starts with two kids in an airplane piloted by the father of one of them, somewhere over the south Pacific. Marvin is not the pilot's son and is clearly Trouble--he refuses to stop kicking the back of the seat in front of him. Sione is the son of the pilot, and grows up to become the title character under the training of Master Magasaki. He doesn't *seem* much like a Ninja, though. He's more like a big, bumbling kid.
The look is intentionally that of a low budget Asian action movie, which is probably at least partially motivated by the fact that *this* film has a low budget. None of the acting is very good, many of the characters are dubbed (badly, for effect), and it looks like it was shot on video. In one particularly funny scene, you see a microphone stick down into the shot, and you think that it is a mistake. The second time, you decide it's probably intentional, at which point you see one of the characters on screen reach up, grab the microphone boom, and begin to use it as a weapon.
But wait! There's more! It's also a musical! And a floor wax! No, not really a floor wax, but it is a musical, complete with an Elvis, and with go-go dancers who suddenly appear for a musical number and just as suddenly disappear.
This is a film of continuous little jokes, like a Ninja having to move his mask each time he wants to take a drink. Think of it like "Airplane!" for the 21st century.
Seen on 11/8/2002 at the 2002 Hawaii International Film Festival, where an earlier showing was the U.S. premiere. Assuming it gets home video or theatrical distribution, you should definitely seek it out.
A brilliant spoof. Very kiwi humour (think Flight of the Concordes)
chris91512 October 2006
A spoof of b-grade movies, rotten 60s kids TV series (at the beginning),martial arts movies, James Bond ripoffs, damsel in distress plots .... and set in beautiful Wellington to boot. Every time I watch it I spot another forced continuity error.
The "making of" sequences are particularly entertaining - the director is living rough and being hassled by the actors and cameraman for their overdue pay, everyone is terrified of the producer and changes the subject when his name comes up, and the heroine (an Asian actress) is represented as a pakeha (European) lass who had to spend five hours in makeup every morning (a reference to the Lord of the Rings, being made in Wellington at the time; in addition, the pakeha actress did the heroine's voice in the movie). The villain Action Fighter (Jermaine Clements of Flight of the Concordes) is represented as a humble biscuit factory worker at the Griffins factory in the (local) Hutt Valley. Gorgeous.
A great personal favourite!
The "making of" sequences are particularly entertaining - the director is living rough and being hassled by the actors and cameraman for their overdue pay, everyone is terrified of the producer and changes the subject when his name comes up, and the heroine (an Asian actress) is represented as a pakeha (European) lass who had to spend five hours in makeup every morning (a reference to the Lord of the Rings, being made in Wellington at the time; in addition, the pakeha actress did the heroine's voice in the movie). The villain Action Fighter (Jermaine Clements of Flight of the Concordes) is represented as a humble biscuit factory worker at the Griffins factory in the (local) Hutt Valley. Gorgeous.
A great personal favourite!
Why do filmmakers have such a problem making chop-socky comedy?
Antzy886 October 2003
Every time I see a new film come out that purports to be a martial arts comedy, I should learn my lesson.
This film stars Sam Manu as the Tongan Ninja of the title, who was one of two kids who survived a plane crash years earlier and ended up training in Ninjitsu in a temple (the other kid was Marvin, played by Jemaine Clement). However,
when our Tongan hero is picked by the teacher to help out the daughter (Miss
Lee, played by Linda Tseng) of an acquaintance of his, Marvin is determined to get his vengeance.
Unfortunately, the whole film falls flat. The plot is very similar to Bruce Lee's self-directed 'Way Of The Dragon' ('Return Of The Dragon' in some parts of the world), right down to the threatened restaurant idea, and as a comedy it is not even remotely funny; it's just plain pants. The bad dubbing idea is somewhat
dated now that foreign-language movies get released in their original language with subtitles, and the fight scenes are so dumb even for a comedy (and most of the people don't seem to be real martial artists).
'Way Of The Dragon' itself was, and still is, more amusing for the right reasons and is much better as a whole (and the fight sequences are still awesome). Or, in a nutshell, why have cotton when you could have silk?
Avoid 'Tongan Ninja' like it was about to strike you down with its five fingers of death; you'll be wishing for that fate if you watch it. If you must watch a martial arts action comedy, you'd be better off going for 'Beverly Hills Ninja' or a vintage Jackie Chan or Sammo Hung film; either would be much more satisfying.
This film stars Sam Manu as the Tongan Ninja of the title, who was one of two kids who survived a plane crash years earlier and ended up training in Ninjitsu in a temple (the other kid was Marvin, played by Jemaine Clement). However,
when our Tongan hero is picked by the teacher to help out the daughter (Miss
Lee, played by Linda Tseng) of an acquaintance of his, Marvin is determined to get his vengeance.
Unfortunately, the whole film falls flat. The plot is very similar to Bruce Lee's self-directed 'Way Of The Dragon' ('Return Of The Dragon' in some parts of the world), right down to the threatened restaurant idea, and as a comedy it is not even remotely funny; it's just plain pants. The bad dubbing idea is somewhat
dated now that foreign-language movies get released in their original language with subtitles, and the fight scenes are so dumb even for a comedy (and most of the people don't seem to be real martial artists).
'Way Of The Dragon' itself was, and still is, more amusing for the right reasons and is much better as a whole (and the fight sequences are still awesome). Or, in a nutshell, why have cotton when you could have silk?
Avoid 'Tongan Ninja' like it was about to strike you down with its five fingers of death; you'll be wishing for that fate if you watch it. If you must watch a martial arts action comedy, you'd be better off going for 'Beverly Hills Ninja' or a vintage Jackie Chan or Sammo Hung film; either would be much more satisfying.
Fantastically funny jaunt around Wellington's Seedy Ninja Underworld
DanWarom24 April 2008
First off, Tongan Ninja is not merely a chop-socky spoof movie, its really not. In the same way Monty Python and the Holy Grail is not simply a period drama spoof.
Its an amusing journey through some top drawer eccentric comedy that if you see it for what it really is, you will enjoy the movies brand of humour. Im not saying that you either get it or you don't, merely that the more open you are to Tongan's brand of mirth, the more you get out of it.
Anyone can make an unintentionally crap movie, hell its even easy to make an crap movie unintentionally funny (See Fire over Afghanistan for reference) but it takes some superb directing and writing to make a movie that skirts the line of comedy genius and total crap with a double back flip, kick to the throat.
Thoroughly enjoyed, regularly quoted and fondly remembered. All the hallmarks of a quality movie in my book!
Its an amusing journey through some top drawer eccentric comedy that if you see it for what it really is, you will enjoy the movies brand of humour. Im not saying that you either get it or you don't, merely that the more open you are to Tongan's brand of mirth, the more you get out of it.
Anyone can make an unintentionally crap movie, hell its even easy to make an crap movie unintentionally funny (See Fire over Afghanistan for reference) but it takes some superb directing and writing to make a movie that skirts the line of comedy genius and total crap with a double back flip, kick to the throat.
Thoroughly enjoyed, regularly quoted and fondly remembered. All the hallmarks of a quality movie in my book!
So much fun!
rroelandskeim4 April 2022
Charles Lum
fandingledangle5 August 2023
I have lived in Wellington for many years and know the stars of this movie indirectly (1-2 degrees of separation here) and the locations where the movie was shot. This is classic kiwi film-making - maximum fun, minimum budget and Tongan Ninja exemplifies this philosophy. Early Peter Jackson/Richard Taylor films have a similar look and feel.
I must point out, however, that the Charles Lum referenced in the Cast & Crew, playing character(s) Master Magasaki / Uncle Lee is NOT the Charles Lum who played the part. I know this because Charles, who passed away in 2021, was my father-in-law.
As Master Magasaki / Uncle Lee, Charles displays a mastery of the Asian mystic persona. This is despite the fact that his acting career commenced almost accidentally when he retired from working as a civil engineer and he had no formal training whatsoever.
Charles can also be seen in other classics such as Wendy Wu - Homecoming Warrior, Seven Periods with Mr. Gormsby, Insiders Guide to Happiness and Good for Nothing.
I must point out, however, that the Charles Lum referenced in the Cast & Crew, playing character(s) Master Magasaki / Uncle Lee is NOT the Charles Lum who played the part. I know this because Charles, who passed away in 2021, was my father-in-law.
As Master Magasaki / Uncle Lee, Charles displays a mastery of the Asian mystic persona. This is despite the fact that his acting career commenced almost accidentally when he retired from working as a civil engineer and he had no formal training whatsoever.
Charles can also be seen in other classics such as Wendy Wu - Homecoming Warrior, Seven Periods with Mr. Gormsby, Insiders Guide to Happiness and Good for Nothing.
This movie never gets old...
Flealan16 August 2009
I don't know what it is with me and my taste of bad movies, and I don't know what it is with me and this movie! I can watch it over and over, and it still intrigues me. Maybe its just nostalgic (which may make this review a little bias), but still, this movie is so much FUN! Seriously...
Everything is done so bad on purpose, it actually gives the movie it's own goofy charm! From the characters called "Action Fighter", "Gun Man" and "Cheif Guy", Bad dubbing, and awfully done choreography, what isn't there to love?!
You can tell the "actors"( if you want to call them that) are really enjoying performing in this movie. You shouldn't take this too seriously or you won't enjoy it as much. Better yet, get wasted and watch it.
It's nothing groundbreaking, no, no, nothing like that at all. It's just a fun little time waster that is very memorable.
Everything is done so bad on purpose, it actually gives the movie it's own goofy charm! From the characters called "Action Fighter", "Gun Man" and "Cheif Guy", Bad dubbing, and awfully done choreography, what isn't there to love?!
You can tell the "actors"( if you want to call them that) are really enjoying performing in this movie. You shouldn't take this too seriously or you won't enjoy it as much. Better yet, get wasted and watch it.
It's nothing groundbreaking, no, no, nothing like that at all. It's just a fun little time waster that is very memorable.
If You Love Cheesy Martial Arts Films, You'll Love This.
mooncat33511 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Although somewhat of a bargain basement film (I picked it up for £2.99!) it seems I found an undiscovered gem! Although I was dubious in the first scene about whether I would find it funny, it soon got into the swing of things and was an absolute laugh riot, as well as a lovingly written nod to the old 70's martial arts dubs and other films such as Karate Kid (The restaurant workers claim to train at the Larusso Dojo) and possibly the Steven Chow films (The end fight is very Shaolin Soccer) A lot of the film bafflingly silly, but not unenjoyably so. The impromptu dance routines, Jermaine-covered pop songs and insane characters such as Knife Man (Who fights with kitchen knives) and Gun Man (a 'Leon'-esque character who couldn't hit a barn door) just add to the bizarreness of the film. Even better is the way the bad guys are introduced, in a computer game style reminiscent of Mortal Kombat. Showing their fighting stats underneath, the characters are shown in the screen in the corner posing with their weapons amid scantily clad dancing women. Although the humour is quite in your face and the action is mainly slapstick, purposely bad effects, dubbing akin to 'Hercules Returns', and not much budget just make it funnier. Absolutely fantastic!
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