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- Aman Mathur: [to Naina] Listen... live... be happy... smile... Who knows? Tomorrow may not be...
- Rohit Patel: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Lalaland... Rohit loves Naina but Naina doesn't love Rohit. She loves Aman. But Aman tells Rohit that he shouldn't let go of Naina so easily. So basically Aman is... insane!
- Aman Mathur: [lying on his deathbed] Now, let me sleep! Just wake me up when you are leaving!
- [closing his eyes and seems to stop moving]
- Rohit Patel: [concerned] Aman?
- Aman Mathur: [opening his eyes] Not yet... idiot!
- Aman Mathur: You just do as I say! I have a plan. Six days and girl in your face! Just six days!
- Rohit Patel: Wow! But why six days and not seven?
- Aman Mathur: I don't work on Sundays!
- Aman Mathur: I have a theory about girls. The more you run after them, the more they will run away from you. But if you run away from them they will be confused and will run after you to find out the reason for their confusion. And we have to take advantage of such a confusion of a confused girl!
- Rohit Patel: Even I'm confused!
- Rohit Patel: I want to get married, I want to have children, and...
- Kurzon bhai Patel: [concerned as he predicts his son being gay] Children? Is that possible?
- Rohit Patel: Of course it's possible! Why is it not possible?
- [short pause]
- Kurzon bhai Patel: Yeah, that's true. This is America, anything is possible!
- Jennifer Kapur: Why don't you have something?
- Kurzon bhai Patel: Yes... sure!
- [to Rohit]
- Kurzon bhai Patel: Listen... Pass me the Cock!
- Rohit Patel: Coke, dad! Please...
- Kurzon bhai Patel: There is this famous decorater from Paris who is coming and at the same time he will decorate my hole! You know... I have a very big hole!
- Rohit Patel: Hall!
- Rohit Patel: A very intelligent man has said that the first step to love is friendship and the last is friendship too. It's the middle that's left...
- Aman Mathur: Frankie Ramdayal, this girlfriend of mine wants me to leave me for you. She says you are cool, sexy, she says your hairstyle is wow! What do I do Sweetu? If I've not seen 'Dil Chahta Hai', so what if I don't know much about hairstyles?
- Aman Mathur: [hands Rohit a bluetooth headset] put this in your ear.
- Rohit Patel: [confused] In my where?
- Lajjo Kapur: Oh, so you are awake...! Looking so good like Hari Putter!
- Shiv: Harry Potter, dadi! Harry Potter
- Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: What? I was getting ready for my blind date.
- Lajjo Kapur's Sister: Blind date?
- Lajjo Kapur's Sister: Oh, a date with a blind boy.
- Lajjo Kapur's Sister: No wonder she has blindfolded herself.
- Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: Blind date means a date with a boy who has never seen me.
- Jaswinder "Jazz" Kapoor: And when he sees, he will be blinded by shock.
- Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: How rude is that? Anyway Naina, I can't come to dinner tonight. Bye all.
- Jaswinder "Jazz" Kapoor: Bye, ball.
- [to Naina]
- Jaswinder "Jazz" Kapoor: make your call.
- [after being criticized on his basketball skills]
- Basketball Player: Why don't you come here and teach me, you little shit?
- Lajjo Kapur: You?
- Guru: Yes, me!
- Lajjo Kapur: Have you come from the bureau?
- Guru: Yes!
- Lajjo Kapur: But I asked for a Sardar on the phone!
- Guru: And I'd said 'young' on the form!
- Lajjo Kapur: No, no! It's not me... It's my granddaughter!
- Guru: Confusion!
- [blows a kiss]
- Rohit Patel: [In front of table with lots of food] What is all this?
- Rohit's Mother: This Mango, That is Khus, so no fuss
- Rohit Patel: Not the food!... All this singing and dancing
- Rohit's Mother: Oh! That! That's our Silver Anniversary Wedding Rehearsal! We are going to preform that day. What are you going to do?
- Rohit Patel: I don't want to do anything! I mean... c'mon
- Rohit Patel: And by the way... How can it be your 25th anniversary when I am only 28 myself?
- Kurzon bhai Patel: No... No... We are just trying to hide our age from the Guju community.
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