- [Lois Lane, Dr. Sedgwick and Max Mencken are tied to chairs in a building with a powerful bomb]
- Superman: I've got to get you out of here, Lois.
- Max Mencken: Well, what about us, Musclebound?
- Superman: Women and children before villains.
- Lois Lane: Dr. Sedgwick - you of all people, a mad scientist!
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Well, we all have our little quirks.
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Now, you may ask why do I want to obliterate Superman? In order to rule the world. You may ask, why do I want to rule the world? In order to obliterate Sweden. You may ask why I want to obliterate Sweden. For revenge! To pay those meatballs back for never having awarded me the Nobel Prize!
- Lois Lane: Oh, is there no one else for me but Superman?
- Clark Kent: Well, he flies ya anywhere you wanna go free!
- Lois Lane: A 747 would show more affection.
- Lois Lane: Oh, I was so disappointed that you didn't win the Nobel Prize last year.
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Well, as we say in academia, you can't win them all.
- Lois Lane: Oh, but you haven't won any!
- Mobsters: It's a swell country without no gun control!
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Metropolis is doomed. You know that new 20 million dollar death ray that we installed at the university last year to put down student uprisings?
- Lois Lane: Gee no, I don't! But what about it?
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Superman has fallen into my trap. Soon he will face a ray so powerful that even on its shakedown test, it was capable of obliterating an internal revenue agent at a range of one thousand miles, and Superman will be only inches away!
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Max, I think I have found something I've always wanted.
- Max Mencken: What?
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: My very own henchmen!
- Max Mencken: From now on, there's no stopping Mrs. Mencken's big boy, Max. It's a smile! It's a glow! It's Supermax!
- Max Mencken: That jerk computer's wrong! Wrong!
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: The computer says it's never wrong.
- [to the computer]
- Max Mencken: You ever see 2001? You know what happens to smart alec computers?
- Max Mencken: You mean to say that Clark Kent is Superman? I always thought Kent flew a little, but not that way.
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Oh, you're a sick, demented creature, Superman!
- Superman: Demented?
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Did it ever occur to you that that X-ray vision is just another word for voyeurism?
- Mobsters: I pledge allegiance to the mobs of the united hoods of the underworld. One family, all invisible, with larceny and rubouts for all.
- Max Mencken: You said you'd worked out a plan to destroy Superman...
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Max, Max, Max, good guys plan. Bad guys scheme!
- Max Mencken: Wow, who would have thought that kindly old Dr. Sedgwick was in reality a mad scientist?
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: That's strictly off the record, you understand.
- Max Mencken: I won't print a thing.
- Sydney Carlton: As for Superman, how could I possibly be interested in a guy whose clothes are prettier than mine?
- Max Mencken: Take a gander at this lead item for my column, Max Mencken's Metropolis.
- Sydney Carlton: You stood me up last night, why should I?
- Max Mencken: Because I'm gorgeous!
- King Big Boss V: Look out that window. What do ya see?
- Gangster: A street light!
- Gangster: A hooker!
- Gangster: A mugger!
- King Big Boss V: No, yous dummies, raise your horizons! Higher, higher! Now what do ya see?
- Gangster: A street light!
- Gangster: A hooker!
- Gangster: A mugger!
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: The way to destroy Superman is to have Superman destroy himself!
- Max Mencken: You mean to say that Superman would destroy himself?
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: I mean to say that Superman would destroy himself.
- Max Mencken: Ah, I see. You mean that Superman would destroy himself!
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: I mean that Superman WOULD destroy himself.
- Sydney Carlton: Oh, why don't you find yourself a nice guy? Like Clark Kent!
- Lois Lane: Who's that?
- Sydney Carlton: He sits at the desk next to yours.
- Lois Lane: Oh, what? Where? Oh, him! Oh, yes. No.
- Max Mencken: Did you ever know I used to be a hoofer, sweetheart? A hoofer!
- Lois Lane: A hoofer, you mean the rear end of a horse act?
- Max Mencken: Hilarious. Dance!
- Ray Clive: We have here in our studio the noted columnist and well-known expert on city hall explosions, Max Mencken.
- Max Mencken: Wanna get in on the ground floor, sweetheart, write a book? "My Years With Max Mencken." We could make a fortune!
- Sydney Carlton: I'd like to write a book. You're a subject could really sink my teeth into.
- Max Mencken: Why, a book like that would be the hottest thing between two covers ever!
- Sydney Carlton: Which is more than I can say for the subject.
- Ray Clive: Well, Mr. Mencken, what do you make of this city hall explosion?
- Max Mencken: Well, it exploded. That's for certain. In fact, I don't think there can be any doubt whatever about that. City hall has exploded.
- Ray Clive: I guess you're right.
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Superman, you're nothing but a freak!
- Superman: A freak? I'm a freak?
- Dr. Abner Sedgwick: Well, this has been a very productive session.
- Superman: I'm a freak. Oh no, I'm a freak!
- Superman: Oh Jerry, Joe, you don't wanna see me now! I'm nuthin' but a freak!
- Joe Shuster: Oh, sure.
- Superman: What do you mean, sure?
- Jerry: Hey, we knew you were all along!
- Max Mencken: Oh, my fellow Americans, it is at a time like this when I wish I was sitting there in Washington in that oval office. If nominated, I would accept, when elected, I would serve in all humility!