Girls Will Be Girls (2003) Poster

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8/10
A campy and catty blend of melodrama and comedy
johnnysugar15 December 2003
Like the love child of "Absolutely Fabulous" and every novel Jacqueline Susann's ever written, "Girls Will Be Girls" is an 80-minute festival of campy trash, hilarious one-liners, and bitchy, catty women. The only catch this time is that the women are all played by men.

Evie (Jack Plotnick) is a washed-up B-movie actress who is decidedly not aging gracefully. She lives with Coco (Clinton Leupp), her more grounded friend who functions mainly as Evie's maid and abuse magnet. Into their lives walks their new roommate Varla (Jeffery Roberson), an aspiring starlet whose late mother Marla (also Roberson in flashbacks) was also Evie's most hated acting rival. All of them have dreams, of course. Evie's dreams involve drinking as many martinis as she can and then having plenty of sex with anyone available. Coco still pines for the hunky abortion doctor that operated on her many years ago. Varla hopes to become the actress that her mother couldn't while dealing with the advances of Evie's gorgeous but microscopically-endowed son Stevie (Ron Mathews). Of course, there are hidden motives galore, and more than one mean-spirited one-liner.

The gimmick of this film, that all the women are played by men, is never as overstated as you may think. After all, the characters are all female, and they are treated in the story as if they are female. It's only slightly different than young boys performing the female roles in Shakespeare's plays. The camp value of the movie focuses not on the drag spectacle, but on the unrelenting melodrama and silliness of the plot, taking the elements of ridiculous films like "Valley Of The Dolls" and upping them to a level so ludicrous, they can only be considered comedy. That the framework of the film makes all of these developments seem perfectly natural and realistic is a credit to director and writer Richard Day.

The actors are all quite game and in on the absurdity of their surroundings. Plotnick is quite humorous, dropping the most mean-spirited one-liners you'll ever laugh at, and the clips of Evie performing in the 60's stinker "Asteroid" resemble nothing less than Morgan Fairchild on quaaludes. Leupp reprises the role of Coco from his scene-stealing moments in the movie "Trick", and he imbues the character both with a humorous sense of bad luck and an immediately sympathetic personality. Roberson is not quite as spectacular as his co-stars, but he gives the naive, trusting Varla a great heart and a hilarious scene involving opera and cheese in a can. Even Mathews is great, all melodramatic soap hunk and hair product.

While the movie receives high marks for style, including efficient and effective set design and a very nice score, it's a very loud movie in the sense that every scene is turned up to 11. While this works most of the time, even at the film's short running time, it tends to strain. The ending veers sharply away from comedy into deep melodramatic territory, and even though it is diffused quite handily, the film almost drowns in TV-movie-of-the-week sap before the mood lightens again. Also, some may find the hostile attitudes of some of the characters, mainly Evie and to a degree Coco, to be too off-putting for comfort. Evie, especially, is one of the most unsympathetic characters you'll meet in a film this year.

Regardless, the film is hilarious and immensely entertaining. A high recommendation for anyone who likes divas, camp, or catty fun. And don't forget to bring the cheese. 8 out of 10.
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8/10
A Movie for the Backstabbing Woman in All of Us!
paganborn21 March 2004
I have not had the opportunity to laugh out loud like this in a very long time! Three men play three women with lust in there hearts and stars in there eyes in an homage to sketch comedy, B-movies, bad wigs, tasteless humor, and everything else that was not nailed down.

Intentionally silly plot twists and over-the-top acting make what could have been a very bland "Hollywood production" into a laugh-fest that will keep you smiling everytime you see a can of Cheez Wiz. There were several shameful laughs at everything from incontinence to abortions to rape to suicide. This movie is a wake-up call for anyone that actually thought that "To Wong Foo..." was funny and not patronizing to men in drag.

So put some sass in a glass, loosen your corsette, and see this flick with somebody that doesn't think your laugh is stupid!
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6/10
It's Fun, and Fun to Read the Bad Reviews Here Too
ekeby13 September 2006
I have to say, the bad reviews here written by (I'm guessing) bewildered, clueless straight people are almost as funny as the movie. You're either someone who is going to "get" this kind of thing, or you're not. Unfortunately, there's no Rating to warn these kind of people off movies like this.

The movie isn't perfect, but you wouldn't want it to be.

The dialog is very funny, and each of the girls acts up a storm. They're all good in their way, but Varla Jean is outstanding, easily the funniest and most distinctive drag character since Divine.

When it's funny, it's very funny. When it's in bad taste, it's . . . very funny. The sets and costumes (as you would expect) are all letter perfect and there are as many sight gags as there are funny lines. Need cheering up? Rent Girls Will Be Girls . . . .
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10/10
Campy, trash humor at it's BEST!
jamiam511 February 2005
The last person that commented on this movie needs to LIGHTEN UP! The comments made about "women" are to be taken lightly and jokingly. First of all, they are all men playing the roles of women. There are no women in the cast...that's the joke behind the movie! Plus, the characters are making fun of themselves. It's a comedy, it's not reality...in fact, far from it.

Jack Plotnick's character of Evie steals the show by far!! Her b*tchy, catty dialog had me rolling through the entire film. Maybe we can get the director to consider a Girls will be Girls 2???!!!!

I found the movie HILARIOUS, not just because I'm gay, but because I know how to take a joke, and enjoy a good, funny movie!
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More than you think.
DameFlux7 August 2004
My wife brought this home and we were both surprised how funny it was. Ok, it isn't Spielberg but the humor behind it is very sharp and entertaining. It is a drag (men dressed as women) movie but isn't trying to hide it . Infact it kind of plays on it.

The story starts with out a driven but hopelessly burned out star who with the help of her long repressed secretary takes in a beautiful Hollywood hopeful , who by the way happens to be the daughter of her dead hollywood rival . A rival I might add that our grand dame earlier pushed to suicide out of jealousy. Now the burned out star is reliving that rivalry with the young starlet but conflict pops up when her son begins to fall for the beautiful hopeful. We found ourselves screaming laughing at this film as it is wonderfully written and acted. You will too. Lose you high expectations and just enjoy the sweet bitterness of Hollywood dreams gone bad. A+
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7/10
The good kind of camp
melinda20017 February 2003
Very funny. Completely captivating. The visual style was all 70's pastel kitsch: house, clothes, hair. Cheesy low-tech special effects don't seem to follow any particular style but simply add fun comedy touches. Strong language is often fresh and honest. The aging actress character always says exactly what's on her mind. Think of it as "Hairspray" meets "Valley of the Dolls".
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10/10
Lots of Campy Trampy fun!!
electriclava13 January 2005
One of the funniest movies I have seen in a long time!!!! Low budget b flick that was better that most million dollar films. These three actors were dead on most of the time forgot I was watching three men.Evie...funniest drunk I have ever seen very Debbie Renyolds like Great one liners!!!!!! Miss Coco who I had fallen in love with since her small part in "TRICK" her blood curdling scream make me pee every time!! And then there is Varla,aspiring actress who moves in with the two "has beens" Varla has come to the other girls looking for acting tips and revenge! The one liners hysterical,politically incorrect..the best part!! And I agree the opening features on the DVD are as funny as the movie!!!
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7/10
It's a '70's-style Smarmfest!!!!
Flowbeer27 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This is a very good Indy film, and I give it a 7 out of 10 stars. I had seen it previewed on the Independent Film Channel a couple of years ago and found the video recently. However, there is something a bit 'off' with it: It seems to take place in the 1970's and there is some hint about the "Bicentenniel Room"....which makes you think its circa 1976......but instead, it's modern day L.A.. It just happens to be about a has-been 60's/'70's actress, who refuses to see that she's over the hill! (Poss. Spoilers?) The 'odd' thing about this film is: The actors are males in drag as females, and each one are hilarious in the roles they play. This is no 'Priscilla, Queen of the Desert', with Patrick Swayze & Wesley Snipes acting all swishy, these are men who honestly look & sound like real women - and they are playing "straight women", as in, you have to go into this believeing they are real women and forget they're really men underneath the wigs & dresses, okay? Once you get past that (if it doesn't distract you too much), you will laugh your head off, seriously! Very funny, with great "drama Queen" moments, temper tantrums and bitch-slaps! All the emotions are covered: anger, jealousy, vanity, you name it! Really, it's a fantastic situational comedy, well worth seeing by anyone, if they go into it with an open mind! I never would have known about it if it weren't for the IFC. I showed it to some friends and I swear they did not realize they weren't females, until about 5-minutes into it! They just wondered what was up! "Hey, that's a guy!"

It is a bit 'odd', but it's also a great, raunchy, adult Indy film! (IFC produced it, I believe.) If you can find it used, buy it!

That alone is enough to show it to everyone you know!! I give this one 7 *'s out of 10! *******
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10/10
One of my favorites
Cdn123412 March 2009
I had discovered clips of this movie on YouTube and decided that I just had to see it. The very day that the delivery arrived, we popped the DVD in and laughed from start to finish.

The guys do great work as the "gals" and part of the charm is that they're in on the joke and never take themselves too seriously. This is, after all, a COMEDY! And one that is very well done.

Some of the littlest bits bring the biggest laughs. Coco's flatulence, the out-of-camera lines ("that is NOT her color!"), and of course the catty one-liners from Evie. Even the DVD menus are a blast.

All in all, one of the most over-looked, best laugh-out-loud movies ever.
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7/10
Very funny and different
preppy-330 March 2014
A comedy/drama with guys in drag playing the three female leads. Over the hill actress Evie Harris (Jack Plotnick) and her maid Coco (Clinton Leupp) bring in a housemate--young energetic Varla (Jeffrey Roberson). However it turns out Varla is the daughter of Evie's long-decreased rival. Coco tries to keep everything under control but it doesn't work.

The film is very funny--full of vicious bitchy humor which mostly works. Plotnick spits out toxic lines with ease, Leupp plays straight man most of the time and Roberson is full of life and energy. It moves quickly (it's only 80 minutes) has some incredible costumes and production design (Evie's house alone is a jaw-dropper) and has some nice eye candy from hunky Ron Mathews (playing Stevie--Evie's son). However some of the jokes fall flat (or are TOO vicious) and it takes an unwise turn to all out drama towards the end...but the VERY end is a happy one. A one of a kind and not really great but is worth catching.
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5/10
not bad
maxmik20 March 2004
but not good. This is no Priscilla movie or even that one with Patrick Swayzie and Weslie Snipes - this movie was made in the director's house for crissakes. I kept wondering if Varla's breasts were real - they looked real enough. Coco Peru has a great look and much has been made of the set decoration - but if the sets and props distract from the movie - what does that tell you? This is sketch comedy the kind Carol Burnett did so well and the kind that SNL used to do well. As dinner theatre it might work but as a full length feature - forget about it.
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10/10
much love to the indie spirit
lita_dgirl5 April 2004
This was just so crisp and the dialogue so sharp that I actually finally registered at IMDB just so I could publiclly praise this film. The looks, the leers, the wigs! What's not to love? Rented the DVD & after hearing the directors comments I must say I'm so glad that his DP told him he couldn't have white walls. The sheer b*lls out saturation of those colors totally made the movie for me. If they ever really do decide to re-make Valley Of The Dolls the only logical helmer choice is Richard Day. I can't believe there are only those two quotes from the movie. But perhaps the barbs are best savoured in their proper context. In any event, lovers of drag queens, bits of absurdism, and satire should snap this movie up.
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7/10
One word... astrophysicist
faustbos18 June 2004
What a treat. I'm so glad I knew nothing about this film. I heard no buzz, had no opinions. Don't even know why we watched it. But the night we did, I don't think I've laughed that hard since I was on a teen field trip to see Romeo and Juliet (1968 version) with my class. After the movie, they screened Life of Brian, and for some odd reason, our teachers allowed us to stay. The Bigus Dickus scene had me gasping for air.... and I can assure you, my reaction was more than a snicker.

Back to this film. In the proud tradition of camp, drag, too much makeup, and false eyes, John Waters I'm sure had a proud grin whenever he saw this one. I'm intentionally saying very little about the film, because, its really not worth getting into. This film is more of an experience. See it with friends, straight or gay (mix is best). I'm sure we'll be popping this one in the DVD player, probably as a warm up or cool down for future Rocky Horror night.

One last note: Idea for an extra on a future DVD release of the film... Have each of the ladies read, the bad reviews from the IMDB. I enjoyed those almost as much as the film.

Now pardon me, I'm going to pop my last remaining copy of Asteroid into the VCR...

Later darlings.
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3/10
As tasteful as a used condom
rps-24 December 2004
If there are any remaining doubts about the depravity of Hollywood and the total lack of taste in American "culture" this ghastly film is the definitive proof.(And no, I am neither Christian nor conservative.) Oh, it has the occasional chuckle. But it gives the word "gross" new depth and meaning. The sex scenes, done in the style of the drawings one finds around urinals, are enough to turn you off that pastime. I watched it, wondering why I was doing so when I had an excellent book on the go that I could have picked up and why people make movies like this. The final insult came when I discovered here on IMDb that all the women characters are drag queens! Mon dieu!!! The logic escaped me other than that it likely was an immense bitchy put on and did precisely what it was supposed to do: infuriate straights and insult women. Maybe it was big with the gay crowd. After all, they loved "Le Cage Aux Folles." It was very small with me.
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"Happy people always make such a racket" - hilarious drag comedy
man_alive24 May 2003
Warning: Spoilers
***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** The 2003 San Francisco Indie Fest's opening night entry, Girls Will Be Girls made some noise at the most recent Sundance Festival, no small feat considering the tsunami of queer material there that included Macauley Culkin as a murderous disco queen and Gina Gershon as a bisexual rocker. But this stone-funny drag send-up of Valley of the Dolls and All About Eve would stand out in any cinematic crowd.

Drag comedies can be as much of a drag as the tired queens who usually populate them. But Girls outstrips the competition thanks to a snappy, imaginative script, pop-art playhouse sets, and commanding performances by the three principals.

Evie (Jack Plotnick) is the archetypal Evil Queen, a Kay Thompsonish hatchet-faced hag who presides over a collapsed acting career and a candy-colored apartment the size of a football field. Evie's in a perpetual drug n' sex dreamworld, from which she emerges to skewer her earnest lawyer son (a hunk with a micropenis) or her beleaguered roommate Coco Peru (Clinton Leupp). Into this dysfunctional little world comes Varla (Jeffrey Roberson, aka Varla Jean Merman), a younger roommate who's also the daughter of Evie's late rival, an equally cheesy actress named Marla.

The film's fearless, vehemently un-p.c. script makes mincemeat of every target. When Evie sets up a phony accident for her son to litigate, she romances the guy who hit her: `You rammed me today and I want seconds!' she screams into the phone. When she gets the guy in bed, he sticks a porn magazine over her face and starts kissing it while he's screwing her. Peeved at his lack of interest, she inquires, `What's wrong? Did my glass eye roll back?' (Kudos to the special fx dept. for convincing us that Plotnick has a glass eye.) Some viewers will remember the actor as the queen reporter who strips to his tighty-whities in Gods and Monsters. Here he employs an improbably effective Paul Lynde imitation for much of his delivery. Or perhaps he's channeling Lynde's doppelganger Alice Ghostley. Either way, it works.

Equally strong is Coco, as rendered by Clinton Leupp, who turned Trick into something watchable as the `acid queen' in the celebrated bathroom scene. Here she's a hopeless romantic who falls in love with her abortion doctor, then continues to get pregnant in order to have more abortions so she can date him. Coco is the main target of Evie, who does everything but set her on fire. (Well, she does shove her into a barbecue pit.) When Coco tearfully inquires whether Evie has ever had an abortion, Evie replies, `I've had more children pulled out of me than a burning orphanage.'

Varla is a camped-up Eve Harrington to Evie's Margo Channing. She comes to Hollywood to `make it' and ends up literally doing so when a sleazy pimp puts her on the street. But Varla finds success in informercials hawking a space-age toxic frozen dinner. Varla's appearance at La Casa de Evie is not coincidental, but we won't spoil that for you here.

While some of the momentum fades during the middle, Girls picks up speed and moves in a surprisingly poignant direction by the end, as that literary trope beloved by high school teachers - character development - kicks in. Yes, in this world there's hope even for the most evil of queens. It's a tribute to director Day's imagination, and his seemingly endless gift for aphorism (Coco: `Happy people always make such a racket'), that this brittle comedy also has satisfying moments of pathos. Girls deserves a wider audience and will be getting one soon with a release from IFC Films.
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8/10
fun campy thang
ksf-22 September 2019
LOVE Sam Pancake Coco Peru ! so funny. and of course, Dennis Hensley has been doing his awesome, hilarious fundraisers in Los Angeles for YEARS. SO many funny lines in this one. i roared! doesn't really matter what the plot is, but there actually is one! it's just one funny line after another. Evie, Varla, and Coco duke it out, and try to live together without killing each other, as they get through each sad, stormy, crazy day. Written and directed by Richard Day... has written SO many popular TV shows. I HIGHLY recommend this one. Campy, silly, fun! and go see all these people on stage -- they are all still performing in and around LA and nuevo York ! Sam Pancake, Coco, and Dennis Hensley.
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10/10
John Waters when he didn't have the cash.
markswoodruff4 August 2005
This is a lot of fun. This is simple gag after gag moving along quick. Humor reminds me of John Waters, Malcolm in the Middle. I am not taking this movie one bit serious and I am not looking for art. We are just laughing every minute. The color and clothes are really great. And these TVs are some of the best (I have been with). The 10 line minimum is hard to live with. My comments are complete and I can not say more without repeating myself. The movie is still funny and still like I said in my comments. Quality over quantity is always a great policy. You have to be kidding. Um. The color clothes I like are many colors. Why are you forcing me to say more than I have to say?
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8/10
Subtle as a Red Bull Enema
green2u27 December 2004
"You've had an abortion?" "Evie, I've had more kids pulled outa me than a burning orphanage."

That dialogue was a test of your tolerance for this screamingly politically incorrect in your face laugh til ya vomit outrageous comedy. I'm a big fan of MAD Magazine, Strangers with Candy, and some John Waters films. I also think Valley of the Dolls, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? and Mommie Dearest are three of the campiest films ever made. If you feel the same, then you will love this movie.

Sure it's silly and falls apart by the end but enjoy the ride til the train wrecks! Three leads are dead on and play their parts to the hilt. The production value (costumes, art direction) alone is a good third of the laughs. On DVD, the pop colors are so bright you need sunglasses. And the opening titles are worth the price of the DVD alone. The Menu selections are very clever as well as the characters talk to you (disparagingly) about their section. Highly recommended.
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1/10
Sexist Garbage
clarason-127 March 2004
There were a few funny scenes in this movie but the rest was sexist garbage mainly about women settling for men who were rapists, pimps, etc. because they couldn't get anyone any better or because they were too stupid to know better.

It also made fun of women who are older than 40 saying the 0 in 40 stood for "old, too old to get married".

I didn't really find it funny to make fun of women who are old or fat or ugly. There were also some really gross sex scenes and the plot was stupid, and campy.

I think the people who will most enjoy this movie are gay men because that's the only audience I think that won't be very offended by all the jokes about how these women try so desperately to get men.
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10/10
Men are SOOOOOOO that way!
Rummelhart7 February 2005
Oh, God on a stick -- this is the funniest bloody movie. I mean, it demonstrates -- TO A T. -- word-for-word, attitude for attitude EXACTLY HOW MEN THINK ABOUT WOMEN. And why they would SO like to be us. And all the male attributes just boil through the costumes -- the bitchiness, the gossiping, the aggressive competition, the addiction to anything that comes along, the total lack of self control, the sensitivity to insult, the desperation for a mate, the desperation to be the only one on stage -- all of it so absolutely, totally male -- and the wish they could do like women do and DRESS ANY WAY THEY WANT (And you KNOW males would overdo the makeup just like that -- have you ever seen the hairpieces?). If you've ever wondered what makes your testicle friends, relatives or colleagues act the way they do -- you MUST see this movie! (Oh -- I should warn you -- this comment is NOT PC).
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3/10
As a gay man, it's only meh at best
lcopela-7532223 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
First, although I'm gay I never got into the drag thing. It was just not my cup of tea.

There was plenty of camp. There was plenty of vulgar nonsense. It has some laughs.

This movie does not hold a candle to The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert or To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar. Those were very funny each in their own right.

This was a mish mash of something and I'm still attempting to figure that out.

The constant reference to the son's small penis, the dildo scene in the bedroom while Asteroids was being played, the use of The People's Choice Award as a simulated sex toy and other scenes were too much. There's good camp and there's bad camp. This one falls into the latter category.

Maybe some enjoy it. That's why we all have different tastes.

I won't be rewatching this and regret the time I have spent doing so.
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Live defiling
deablanca14 October 2003
The eye-candy is great, but the non-stop cartoonishness of the acting and the never-ending one liners get tiresome quickly. It would be easy to dismiss as woman-hating c**p, except the men are treated with just as much contempt, if not more.

Where is John Waters when you need him? He knows how to make this material intersect with reality.

I can say the movie is consistent. The energy, jokes, and visuals are maintained at the same level throughout the film.
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9/10
Hilarious!
egoaltered31 March 2004
This movie is very, very funny. It may not be for everyone, but I loved it. The great thing is the premise: it stars three drag queens whose male identity is never acknowledged, so in effect they are women in the movie. The main character, Evie, is an over-the-hill has-been, who starred in really bad "B" movies, like "Asteroid," and marginal TV show appearances; then there's her roommate who Evie treats as her maid, who longs for a baby but has a sordid past; and finally, there's the ingenue of the bunch, an overweight mid-western wanna-be actress who dreams of being discovered in Schwabb's Drugstore "just like Tina Turner."

There are just so many funny lines; there are a few times the movie almost goes too far, but it's just so over the top that you don't really get offended. It's kind of like a John Waters movie, but the toilet humor isn't as gross!
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8/10
The next wonderful cult movie
RGMaslar14 October 2003
This movie was ingenious. A little camp, a little music and so much comedy. The actors really must have had fun working on this one. Clinton Leupp's character Coco was the best part of the film. Do I hear sequel? How about a television show. What fun!!!
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8/10
I'm still laughing
sfmoviegirl17 October 2003
A hilarious comedy that pulls no punches and is miles away from being politically correct. Not for the easily offended - the girls talk about everything from abortion to suicide - but packed with laughs from beginning to end. You'll be giggling the entire film.

The 'girls' are all great, but Jack Plotnick's portrayal of Evie in the 1970-ish B-movie "Asteroid" is priceless. I still can't keep a straight face when imagining him trying to say "as-tro-phy-si-cist."
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