'The Haunted Mansion,' a film 'inspired' by the Disney theme-park attraction of the same name, feels like a cross between 'The Haunting' and 'The Ghost and Mr. Chicken.' Eddie Murphy is a real estate agent working in tandem with his wife, Marsha Thomason. One day she receives a call from a mysterious stranger asking her to check out some property he wants to put up for sale. Even though the caller specifically asks that she come alone, Murphy decides to go along with her, bringing their two young children as well. When they arrive on the scene, the family finds a mansion replete with all the paraphernalia common to a conventional haunted house - sliding panels, hidden passageways, a graveyard in the backyard, an eccentric owner, a creepy butler (played with delicious relish by Terence Stamp) and, of course, a houseful of unruly and unsettled resident ghosts. Once ensconced inside, the family discovers much like homeowners in a buyer's market - that it's always easier to get into a haunted house than it is to get out of one.
Murphy assumes the Bob Hope role of the comical skeptic who meets each and every danger with a defiant wisecrack and clever quip. Unfortunately, even Murphy, for all his talent, can't rescue material that doesn't have anything much there to begin with. The story is predictable and silly and the dialogue woefully bereft of laughs. There's also one glaring plot hole that should not go unremarked upon. Thomason is supposed to be a (pardon the pun) dead-ringer for a woman who killed herself a hundred and fifty years ago, yet there is no way that, in the context of that time, that woman could ever possibly have been black. Colorblindness is generally a good thing, but in this instance, it strikes at the very core of the story's internal credibility. The film's visual imagery does indeed derive from the Disney attraction statues whose eyes follow people around the room, dancing transparent ghosts, singing disembodied heads but there's a world of difference between a 5-minute amusement-park ride and an 85-minute full-length feature film. Before green-lighting the project, didn't any of the executives over at Disney ask if anyone had come up with a movie worth making? Given the results we see on screen, the answer is 'apparently not.'
There's no point here in launching into our perpetual lament over the downward spiral that Eddie Murphy's career continues to take. After all, if he isn't worried about the squandering of his once notable talent, why should we be? Life is just too short for that.
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