Steve Carell credited as playing...
Evan Baxter
- Announcer: [Bruce sees that the news is starting at the office] Welcome to Eyewitness News at Six, with Susan Ortega, Evan Baxter, Fred Donahue Sports, Dallas Coleman Weather. And now, Buffalo's Number One News Team.
- [Bruce smiles mischievously and heads to the news room]
- Susan Ortega: Good evening and welcome to Eyewitness News at Six. I'm Susan Ortega.
- Evan Baxter: And I'm Evan Baxter and here's what's making news. A potential scandal with the Buffalo P.D. surfaced today when the mayor d-bow debit
- [Bruce uses his powers to make Evan's voice choked off and high-pitched]
- Evan Baxter: D-bow d-bit d-bow
- [unintelligible chicken squawking]
- Evan Baxter: Bucka-bow, dee buck. I'm sorry; I seem to have something stuck in my throat.
- Director: Someone get him some water please.
- Susan Ortega: Looks like my new co-anchor may need a glass of water.
- Evan Baxter: [laughs like hyena, drinks, and clears throat] Oh, there we go. Sorry about that.
- [Bruce uses his powers to manipulate the teleprompter]
- Evan Baxter: In other news, the Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today and my tiny little nipples went to France.
- Director: What'd he just say? Check the prompter.
- [Bruce immediately stops what he's doing and returns the teleprompter to normal. A female employee checks the prompter and shrugs in confusion]
- Technician: The prompter's fine.
- Director: Evan, READ THE COPY. Please. The copy's good. Just read it.
- Evan Baxter: [Bruce manipulates the teleprompter again] The White House reception committee greeted the Prime Rib Roast Minister and... I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl.
- [Bruce snickers]
- Evan Baxter: I lik-a do da cha-cha. I'm sorry we seem to be having some technical difficulties. In other news...
- [Bruce uses his powers to make Evan break wind]
- Evan Baxter: Ohhhh. My apologies.
- [Covering his face, Bruce uses his powers to make Evan speak rapid unintelligible gibberish]