Hugh Grant: The Prime Minister

Tatsächlich... Liebe

The Prime Minister

[first lines]
Prime Minister: Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

[talking about her ex-boyfriend]
Natalie: He said no one's gonna fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.
Prime Minister: Ah! You know, um, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I'll think about it.
Prime Minister: Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.

Press Conference Reporter: Mr. President, has it been a good visit?
The President: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for, and our special relationship is still very special.
Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: I love that word "relationship." Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship; a relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country, but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.

[Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister]
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck," and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was gonna fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!

[at a Cabinet meeting]
Prime Minister: Who do you have to screw around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?
[Natalie walks in with a tea trolley and smiles demurely at the Prime Minister]

Mia: [the Prime Minister has knocked on Mia's door looking for Natalie] You're not who I think you are, are you?
Prime Minister: Yes, I'm afraid I am. And I'm sorry for all the cock-ups, my cabinet are absolute crap. We'll have to do better next year.

[the Prime Minister is knocking on doors to find Natalie]
Harris Street old lady: Aren't you the Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: Yes, in fact, I am. Merry Christmas.
Harris Street old lady: Oh...!
Prime Minister: Part of the service, now. Trying to get round to everyone by New Year's Eve.

[to a portrait of Margaret Thatcher]
Prime Minister: *You* have this kind of problem? Yeah... of course you did, you saucy minx!

[having just been exposed kissing Natalie on a school stage during a student concert in front of hundreds of children and parents]
Prime Minister: Right. So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped.
Natalie: What do we do now?
Prime Minister: Smile. Little bow. And a wave.

Prime Minister: [on the phone to his sister] I'm very busy and important. How can I help you?

Prime Minister: Hello, does Natalie live here?
Harris Street little girl: No, she doesn't.
Prime Minister: Oh, dear. Okay.
Harris Street little girl: Are you singing carols?
Prime Minister: Uh, no. No I'm not.
Her friend: Please, sir, please?
Her friend: Please!
Prime Minister: Well, I suppose I could.
Her friend: Please?
Prime Minister: Alright.
Harris Street little girl, Her friend, Her friend: Yay!
Prime Minister: [singing] Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen /
[his driver joins in]
Prime Minister: When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even / Brightly shone the moon that night...

Prime Minister: I'm not sure that politics and dating really go together.
The President: Really? I never found that.
Prime Minister: Yeah, well, the difference is you're still sickeningly handsome, whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.

[the new Prime Minister has just arrived in Number Ten Downing Street]
Annie: Would you like to meet your household staff?
Prime Minister: Yes, I would like that very much, indeed. Anything to put off actually running the country.

Prime Minister: I'd like to go to Wandsworth; the dodgy end.
PM's chauffeur, Terry: Very good, sir.
[they drive to Wandsworth]
PM's chauffeur, Terry: Harris Street. What number, sir?
Prime Minister: Oh, God. It's the longest street in the world, and I have absolutely no idea.

[on being introduced to Terence, the head of the Downing Street staff]
Prime Minister: I had an uncle called Terence once. Hated him. I think he was a pervert. But I very much like the look of you.

[after walking into 10 Downing Street for the first time and falling in love with a member of the domestic staff]
Prime Minister: Oh, no. That is so inconvenient.