Crispin Glover credited as playing...
Stan Bittleman
- [Bittleman is playing electronic chess in his van]
- Frank Bernard: Mr. Bittleman?
- [Bittleman jumps, sending his chess game flying]
- Frank Bernard: Playing checkers, I see.
- Stan Bittleman: [disappointed] I was about to win.
- Stan Bittleman: Hey, hey, hey, stop, get off, get off Calvin, do not hurt Calvin, What are you doing?
- [to Calvin]
- Stan Bittleman: Are you ok?
- [to Ox]
- Stan Bittleman: Look do not hurt him, do you know how valuable he is to me?
- Ox: It's his sneakers that's how he can play so well.
- Stan Bittleman: You lay one more hand on him and our sleeping in the basement.
- [to everyone else]
- Stan Bittleman: All right everybody, go to sleep, it's all over. Good Night.
- Stan Bittleman: [confronting Calvin at the stadium entrance] Give me the sneakers, Calvin. Your game... is over.
- [Calvin knocks him aside with his scooter]
- Stan Bittleman: Aaah! Uhh.
- Calvin Cambridge: My game is just beginning.
- Stan Bittleman: Okay, let me get this straight. You guys want to have Calvin play for the Knights?
- Frank Bernard: Right.
- Stan Bittleman: Why?
- Coach Wagner: I've been coaching 35 years. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.
- Frank Bernard: Well, you didn't see him play at halftime.
- [They turn to look at Calvin]
- Calvin Cambridge: Hey, coach.
- [Coach waves at him]
- Coach Wagner: Hi... again.
- Calvin Cambridge: Am I'm gonna be a Knight?
- Coach Wagner: [whispering] He's four and a half feet tall.
- Frank Bernard: I know.
- [laughs]
- Frank Bernard: Can you imagine the press we're gonna get? Look, coach, I know attendance is in the crapper, Ok, and I'm not averse to using the word gimmick. This is about making money.
- Stan Bittleman: I see. And speaking of money, uh...
- Frank Bernard: Ah, yes, money. Mr. Bittleman, I'm prepared to make you an offer of $5,000 for a one-day contract.
- Stan Bittleman: Ah... well. Uh, seeing that, um, I'm Calvin's guardian, uh... I do have to make certain that nobody takes advantage of him.
- Coach Wagner: You mean except for you?
- Stan Bittleman: Hey, I resent that.
- Frank Bernard: Uh, Mr. Bittleman, uh, perhaps, uh, perhaps, uh... an extra, uh, $2,500 might help, uh, ease your worries.
- Stan Bittleman: Deal.
- Frank Bernard: Good.
- Stan Bittleman: I always knew that there was something special about Calvin.
- Stan Bittleman: Excuse me, Mr. Williams?
- Mr. Williams: It's possible.
- Stan Bittleman: My dentist, Frank Nister, said that I might be able to find you here.
- Loan Shark #1: Who's Nister?
- Loan Shark #2: The guy with the ear.
- Stan Bittleman: My name is Stan Bittleman.
- Mr. Williams: What can I do for you, Mr. Bittleman?
- Stan Bittleman: I'm looking for a, uh, sports broker, uh, to make a sizable investment in the Raptors to beat the Knights.
- Mr. Williams: Why are you speaking in code? You want to place a bet? How much?
- Stan Bittleman: $100,000.
- [All the loan sharks are impressed]
- Mr. Williams: That's a lot of money. You good for it?
- Stan Bittleman: Of course I am.
- Mr. Williams: What makes you so confident?
- Stan Bittleman: Well, let's just say I have a good feeling that Calvin Cambridge is going to have... an off game.
- Mr. Williams: Tell me more.