Teri Polo creditado como jogando...
Pam Byrnes
- Jack Byrnes: I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.
- Greg Focker: It was Barry Poppins.
- Jack Byrnes: What kind of sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
- Roz Focker: Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
- Jack Byrnes: It was your idea?
- Roz Focker: Yes.
- Jack Byrnes: What is wrong with you people?
- Bernie Focker: You people?
- Dina Byrnes: Jack, I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.
- Jack Byrnes: Yeah, look what happened to him! Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions?
- Greg Focker: Jack, he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?
- Jack Byrnes: He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his devlopment.
- Roz Focker: The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.
- Greg Focker: Mom.
- Jack Byrnes: What are you saying?
- Roz Focker: I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here and and I've got news for you, Jack. Prodigies don't eat there own boogers.
- Jack Byrnes: And I've got news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time, either.
- Pam Byrnes: Okay, Dad. That's my fiance.
- Jack Byrnes: I'm sorry. It's just that I've never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
- Roz Focker: Why? Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let's get down to it. The truth is, you're so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it's the Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.
- Jack Byrnes: The Little Jack in me?
- [Greg is getting extremely frusrated]
- Roz Focker: Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed? My guess is no.
- Jack Byrnes: Will you spare my the drugstore pyschology.
- Greg Focker: [everyone starts arguing] Everybody! All right. Everybody just... Everybody just STOP, okay?
- [everyone is quiet]
- Greg Focker: Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone for a second, I came back, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it.
- Greg Focker: What happened last night?
- Pam Byrnes: Well, you got drunk and told my dad I'm pregnant, you revealed you have a 15 year old son named Jorge, and oh, apparently you have the hots for my mom.
- Pam Byrnes: In a few weeks, I'm not going to be Pam Byrnes. I'm going to be Pamela Focker.
- Greg Focker: Or Byrnes-Focker, we haven't totally decided yet.
- Pam Byrnes: No, no, no, I'm going to be Pamela Martha Focker. I know how that sounds but that's the name I'm taking.
- Greg Focker: It's great to be here with all of you as I am about to set sail in my ship of life with my first mate, the beautiful, young blonde lass over there. Hey baby.
- [blows her a kiss]
- Greg Focker: I still masturbate to Pam.
- Pam Byrnes: Greg.
- Greg Focker: What? It's true. Honey, what? C'mon, you're hot. Look at her! Look at those boobs. Man! I just wanna lather 'em up with soap and just
- [shakes head making motorboat noise]
- Greg Focker: . Man, I just want to nestle in there and take a little vacation in there.
- Pam Byrnes: Honey.
- Greg Focker: Honey, what? I'm sorry. Okay, excuse me for you being perfect! Hey, you know who else is great? That woman over there, my future mother-in-law, Dina Byrnes! Dina Dina Bo-Bina Banana Fana Fo Fina. I love D-D-Dina Byrnes! You know they say if you really want to know what a woman's going to look like when she gets older, you should look at her mother. Well I'm lookin' and I'm likin'! Woo, look at her! Sweetness!
- [chuckles]
- Greg Focker: Good genes. Byrnes gene pool.
- [Spies Jorge]
- Greg Focker: Hey, hey you! Hold on. Pam, I gotta tell you something about this little dude right here. In my first really passionate sexual awakening, I did, in fact lose my virginity to our beautiful housekeeper Isabel.
- Pam Byrnes: Greg, honey, that was in the past so why don't you just come sit down?
- Greg Focker: No, no, no, no, honey. 'Cause I have to get this off my chest. Really. We concieved a child. And his name is Jorge Villalobos. Come on up here, Jorge. Come up here. Let's lift the veil of mystery. The fruit of my loins is right here! Everybody take a look. See his face. He is mine. Search your feelings Jorge. You know it to be true. Yo soy tu papa.
- [hugs him]
- Greg Focker: It's okay. I know. Lot of information. You let it settle. Who'da thunk it, huh? Come on, give that kid a hand. Oh, and Jack? Pam's pregnant. Focker out.
- [passes out]
- Jack Byrnes: You knew she was pregnant?
- Dina Byrnes: We all did, Jack.
- Pam Byrnes: Daddy, I was going to tell you after the wedding, I swear.
- Jack Byrnes: This is the reason I created the circle of trust so we could discuss these things.
- Pam Byrnes: But the circle isn't going to work if you don't trust anyone that's in it, Dad.
- Pam Byrnes: Did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? Because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling like that.
- Greg Focker: No, I didn't tell her. She guessed.
- Pam Byrnes: She what?
- Greg Focker: Yeah, and then she told my dad.
- Pam Byrnes: Oh, my God.
- Pam Byrnes: This weekend is going to be fun, and your parents are great.
- Greg Focker: They're great in small doses.
- [Jack and Bernie are arrived at home, looked at Little Jack holding the rum bottle with his glue hands, watching the movie Scarface on TV, shocked]
- Bernie Focker: There's someone you don't see every day.
- [Moses began to humping on Jinx's back]
- Jack Byrnes: Focker! Focker!
- [Greg enters with wearing moose antlers and a breast]
- Greg Focker: Okay. I know this is bad. But, I can explain.
- Jack Byrnes: What the hell happened? I said no monkey business!
- [Little Jack began to crying]
- Greg Focker: No! There's no monkey business.
- Jack Byrnes: No monkey business? You're wearing my breast!
- [Moses barking at Jinx, he gets off his back, Jinx hissing at Moses]
- Jack Byrnes: Little Jack is drinking, Moses is sodomizing Jinx and you're telling me there's no monkey business? What is going on here?
- [turns to Little Jack]
- Jack Byrnes: Are you all right, LJ?
- [Roz, Pam and Dina enters home]
- Roz Focker: Hello, we're home! Hey, guys!
- Jack Byrnes: [grabbing the rum bottle] Give me the bottle. Give me the bottle.
- Pam Byrnes: Oh, my god. What happened to Little Jack?
- Bernie Focker: Looks like his hands has stuck in the bottle of rum.
- Greg Focker: Thank you, dad.
- Jack Byrnes: You bet, they're stuck.
- Pam Byrnes: Greg? How did this happen?
- [sees his wearing antlers]
- Pam Byrnes: And why are you wearing antlers?
- Greg Focker: [takes his antlers off] It's... very complicated.
- Roz Focker: [sees the glue] It's just a little glue, he's fine.
- Jack Byrnes: He's not fine! If he could use of his hands, he'll tell you by himself!
- [to Little Jack]
- Jack Byrnes: All right, that's all right. Come on.
- [Little Jack continues crying]
- Pam Byrnes: Oh, Little Jack. Honey, are you okay? Greg?
- Jack Byrnes: Dina? Pam?
- Dina Byrnes: Yes, dad. I'm coming.
- Pam Byrnes: Little Jack?
- Roz Focker: [to Greg] Honey, I said a thimble. Not a bottle.