Gallagher: Melon Crazy (1984 TV Special)
Gallagher: Self
Quotes
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Gallagher : [introducing Bill Kirchenbauer] Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I'm introducing him right now. Uh, he's original and he's good. The problem is the part that's original ain't that good and the part that's good ain't that damn original. I want you to, uh, to welcome a man that was educated beyond his, uh, intelligence. He can't sing. He can't dance. He can't tell jokes. There's literally no end to the things he can't do. He's giving up a lucrative career in vinyl repair to be here with us tonight. He's a formaler, former counselor at a halfway house for girls who won't go all the way.
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Gallagher : Well, I went Melon Crazy. Why? Because it's deductable! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I've finally earned more money than I can smoke.
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Gallagher : I looked on the back of a smoke alarm, there's a guarantee. Why? If it don't work, what's left?
