Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

Deon Richmond: Malik

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jake : Malik, can you hold my books for me?

  Malik : Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like; "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack."

• Catherine : Can I ask you a question? Why is it then whenever I tell a guy to put it wherever they want, they always stick it in my ass?

  Malik : Damn.

  Jake : That's way too much information for me, Catherine.

  Catherine : Oh no Jake. Way too much information would be telling you that whenever they're done I always take a huge dump.

  Malik : Shit.

  Catherine : On their chest.

  Malik : Oh, that is whack.

• Malik : What are you doing here?

  Other black guy at party : What do you mean?

  Malik : I am supposed to be the only black guy at this party.

  Other black guy at party : Oh, damn. Shit.

  Malik : I know, I know.

  Other black guy at party , Malik : [Together]  It's whack.

• Jake : What about her?

  [indicating hunchback girl walking by] 

  Austin : So baby's got a little back. Hunch, that is. Naah, way too easy.

  Jake : OK.

  [indicates hippy albino girl playing guitar] 

  Albino Folk Singer : [singing]  I have no pigment...

  Austin : Any girl with a guitar is hot.

  Albino Folk Singer : [continues singing]  I need sunscreen...

  Austin : Granted, she's a hippy albino. She could still be prom queen.

  Jake : OK, uh, what about the Fratelli sisters?

  [indicates awkward Siamese twins conjoined at the head] 

  Austin : So they're slightly disfigured and connected at the head. But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick.

  Reggie Ray : Yeah, I'd do 'em.

  Austin : I know you would, Reggie Ray. But no, I'm looking for somebody who's really messed up. I'm talking about a real shitbomb.

  [Janie Briggs walks by] 

  Austin : Well, bombs away!

  Jake : No, no, no, no, anyone but her! Not... Janey Briggs! Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail! Aw, look at that, she's got paint on her overalls, what is that? Guys, there's no way she could be prom queen!

  Malik : Damn! That shit's whack!

• [During song] 

  Malik : I'm only in this song because I'm the black guy.

• Jake : [Sincerely]  Thanks, MaIik. You're inteIIigent and insightfuI. You don't get the respect you deserve.

  Malik : [Eagerly]  That's great! I've aIways wanted to discuss...

  Jake : [Interrupting]  I actually got to go. Sorry.

• Malik : Sure, Why Not?, After All I am Jus the token black guy. I'm jus supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say thing like: "Damn," "shit," and "that's whack."

• Malik : Bling-bling!