- Dr. Troutner: And for you Andy:cologne. Now you might even see a little action.
- Andy "Fish" Troutner: A LITTLE action? Dad, I'm a Troutner.
- Mr. Hardy: So, are you ready for your first day?
- Pete Troutner: You bet I am. I can't wait to get out those kids. I'm gonna get in there. I'm gonna shake things up. Gonna make 'em look at learning in a whole new way.
- Mr. Hardy: Yeah, they all say that.
- Pete Troutner: Come on, man. I'm totally different. You'll see.
- Mr. Hardy: Get back to me on day two.
- Mr. Ernie Hopkins: What's with the clothes?
- Pete Troutner: I just didn't want to be one of those stuffy, old teachers, you know.
- Mr. Ernie Hopkins: This isn't a game anymore, Mr. Man. You are not on their side and you do not play by their rules. You wanna get into their heads and part wisdom, knowledge, and truth? Then you gotta earn their respect, pal. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find out what it means to you. 'Cause if you don't earn their respect, and earn it right away, then you're nothing more than a corpse with a lesson plan. Don't. Don't let yourself become like the rest of the faculty. 'Cause I don't know about you, but when I look at them
- [whispering]
- Mr. Ernie Hopkins: I see dead people.
- Pete Troutner: Hey, remember the time I got separated from my friends backpacking through Europe?
- Andy "Fish" Troutner: Yeah, I'm kinda busy thinking here.
- Pete Troutner: I fell asleep on the train from Hindenberg to Berlin. By the time I woke up, I was in the South of France. My money belt was gone. I had no idea where my friends were. No buds. No cash. I was as screwed as screwed could possibly be. I almost gave up right there. But then I met these three Swedish girls. I followed them to the youth hostel and ended up having sex with all three of 'em. Now the point of the story, you're asking? I'm gonna answer that for ya. Don't ever give up. Cause you never know when a Swedish girl's gonna want to hve sex with you.
- Pete Troutner: Uh, look I know there's a rule that says teachers can't date each other.
- Miss Eastwood: There's no rule that says teachers can't date each other.
- Pete Troutner: Really? I'd love to.
- Lisa: I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Lisa. Guess we'll be working together.
- Andy "Fish" Troutner: Uh, yeah. I'm Fish, this is Krak. You know, I was thinking, if we pull together we can do a lot for our class.
- Lisa: Blah, blah. Just keep your head down and I'll try not to step on it on my way to the top.
- Henry "Krak" Krakowski: That is one nasty women.