The Bride of Frank (1996 Video) User Reviews

Sheer trash in the best way

[BandSAboutMovies · 5/10 · 20 January 2023]

Frank Meyer was a homeless guy in real life and that's who he is in this movie, a man who lives in the warehouse of a trucking company where he's abused by his co-workers most of the time. He also dreams of death and man, it's not pretty. This is a film desperate to chase away nearly everyone, starting with him smashing a kid's head open with a pipe, running over her body with a truck and then messily devouring her brain.

Still here?

This was released by Sub Rosa in 2004 after being an underground VHS passaround film and if you're ready for the kind of weirdness you once needed multiple mixtapes to see, this is it. The guys at the truck garage - introduced in a hilarious pause to see the names Reservoir Dogs style moment - decide to throw him a birthday party and some geeky dude interrupts it. Frank remembers that his mother told him to never lie and always tell people before he kills them. So when Frank tells someone that he's going to cut off their head and **** down their neck, well, it's no threat. It's a promise that we're going to see.

For a movie that has a man searching for love - alright, gigantic breasts - and killing women left and right, this ends with a sweetness that's kind of heartwarming if you can get past every moment of sheer black humored piss in your drink madness. I mean, as bad as Frank can be, at least he follows up on his promises and has some cats that he loves, Herman, Frankie, Lily, Mommy and The Maltese Cat.

This was directed, written, produced, edited and shot by Escalpo Don Balde who is really Steve Ballot. Frank starts by telling us that this is a story of love and evil and man, he wasn't lying. It's not a road that many will want to travel, but it's Herschell Gordon Lewis, John Waters and more than anything Bloodsucking Freaks, a movie that you'll rush to shut off the moment anyone walks in the room excapt that you're an adult now.

Ballot told Film Threat that the movie was made with his family: "My family had a warehouse business with forklifts, tractor-trailers, truck drivers, warehouse workers and a 133,000 square foot building. I could use all that. There was a former homeless man that the company adopted and let live in the back room. He would be the star. I had a 5-year-old niece that was the cutest little kid in the world. I would start the movie with her. My pot dealer was a classic Brooklyn tough guy. I could use him too. And like John Waters before me, I could cast the movie with weirdos I met on the street. So I started shooting with my $1100 consumer JVC SVHSC camera on the weekends. I shot about forty SVHSC tapes over a four year period, and then spent about six months editing it together with two VCRs."

You read that right. The little girl that dies in the beginning is his niece.

I can't even imagine the rest of the footage that didn't make it into this movie.

Hilariously bad!

[JKazoo · 23 October 2000]

In 1972, John Waters made "Pink Flamingos". He was a child of rich parents embracing the lower class. In 1996, Mr. Ballot created "The Bride of Frank", a film I see as the "Pink Flamingos" actually made by the lower class. And I don't mean that in a bad way in the least. Mr. Ballot and his associates have created a shot-on-video film definitely worth a look. Frank is an elderly homeless man hired as a watchman and stock-boy by Mr. Ballot's trucking company. Frank grows tired of his lonely, mundane life and seeks a wife through an ad in the paper. Hilarity and mindless violence ensue. His momma taught him at an early age "It's all right [to kill people] if you warn them first!" And that's exactly what he does! One of the most notable scenes involves Frank warning "the Nerd": "I'll cut off your head and [poop] down your neck!" And you can guess what happened! Some scenes border on porno, but you learn in the behind-the-scenes footage it was all done with the help of prosthetics. Most notable stand-out in the cast is Chick Carter, who played 3 roles: "the Nerd", a transvestite, and "Bob". Bob is hideously deformed in a rather unconvincing makeup job, and is the master of over-acting. You get the feeling that all the people are really just playing themselves, which was part of the appeal of "Pink Flamingos". I'm not putting this on-par with "Pink Flamingos" but it will definitely cross your mind upon viewing. See it NOW!

without a doubt, THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN!

[wheelsofterror · 1/10 · 10 July 2005]

The plot is at the kindergarten level. It's just a crazy man killing people in gory methods, often doing obscene things with the corpses. His "friends" help him along the way and participating in one murder during his birthday party, of which some of his presents include an inflatable sheep!! The atmosphere is really bad. It mostly takes place in a New Jersey trucking warehouse, in and around trucks, and in the company's office building where Frank lives. If anything, there's a lack of atmosphere! It just plods along without any connection between scenes. It's just a set of scenes smashed together.

None of the cast is worth mentioning but I'll mention one, the main "cast member", as none can act in the slightest. Frank O'Brien plays...*Drum Roll* Frank!! His character is an exaggeration of his real life.

For the movie, Frank is an excessively slow and old man who was once homeless and an alcoholic. Now he does menial tasks with a trucking company.

True story is that Frank O'Brien found his wife in bed with their priest and, feeling so bad, he became homeless and alcoholic. He's now old and suffering from some type of senility and dementia. He has dentures but that does NOT account for his speech impediment. His words are so unintelligible that his words are subtitled in yellow -- only his! Aside from this, I feel sad for Frank O'Brien because it seems as if he, and his slowness, are just being used and exploited for the amusement of the crew and the viewers. But mostly I found it just sad.

The only Cast member of "some" fame is Tasim Atkinson who plays The Tease, one of Frank's personal ad women and victims. In real life, she's a "big woman" exotic dancer. She appeared on The Howard Stern Show a few times and promoted the movie -- probably the only reason that this movie was sold anywhere.

Directed and written by Steve Ballot as Escalp Don Bladé. He's obviously an amateur. His writing is terrible and without direction. He used a ridiculous pseudo name which, in itself, is amateurish.

The cinematography is terrible, like the rest of this masterpiece. It's obvious that it's shot with camcorders and edited with VCRs and other low-tech equipment. The picture is faded and the hues are awful.

The SFX, ugh!! Basically, it has a lot of fake blood, fake wounds, ripped out eyes, and several fake penises -- yes, penises!! The sound is like through a tunnel. The music is sparse. The best song is by a band called the Young and Fabulous but even that isn't great.

This is, without a doubt, THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN! The story is ridiculous, the cinematography is awful, terrible effects, terrible sound, I can NOT understand Frank's speech which is exploited and hurtful. The title is irrelevant unless you watch the deleted scenes/alternate ending. The festival extra bashes Frank more! Butter sound, state of the art crap! A few jokes are mildly amusing but most are just too vulgar or immature to be funny. I couldn't wait for the DVD to end!!

Don't waste your time on this crap which makes Troma look like Broadway!! There's tons of extras for such a crappy movie.

Wow, this was really very bad

[artnude · 1/10 · 13 April 2008]

I actually watched this all the way through and I am really surprised I made it. Many times I wanted to turn it off but kept watching out of curiosity to see if it could possibly get any worse. Do not watch this for the "gore" as there is little and it's very poorly done. Do not watch it for the "plot", there is none. Whatever you do, do not watch it for the "acting" as that is far too generous a word to use for what these people were doing. This is apparently a vanity project for someone who wanted to dress up and play actor/director. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities. Do yourself a favor, Just don't watch it.

Like it or hate it, you won't easily forget it!

[DVD_Connoisseur · 7/10 · 31 December 2006]

Years ago, prior to its release on DVD, I spent months trying to track down this film. Finally, a friend mailed me a dub of this low-budget film. I watched it and couldn't believe it didn't have a distributer. Thankfully, times have moved on.

The film itself is very low budget. It's like cut-price Troma (crossed with early John Waters) and would appeal to the same audience. Originally, videos were available from the director's own site at a reasonable price. I'd also been informed that the film was recently "filmlooked" to remove signs of its video origins. The version I viewed was, however, a copy of the original release.

The film tells the tale of Frank, an ageing warehouse worker who lives in an office with his cats and desperately seeks female company. Frank was taught at an early age that it's okay to kill people for being annoying as long as you give them warnings first. Thus, there's quite a high body count in the movie including some very bloody (but fake looking) deaths.

The film uses some real characters to add authenticity to the proceedings and so some of the acting is less than an Oscar winning standard (Chick Carter has to be seen to be believed!).

Some of the film borders on adult territory (there's use of some prosthetics that you wouldn't see in mainstream releases) but it's good, dirty fun (if you aren't shocked easily).

Part horror, part comedy...this is worth tracking down if you like your horror cheap and cheerful.

I for one think "The Bride of Frank" deserves its new-found life on DVD. It's a party movie (like "Story of Ricky") and like it or hate it, you won't easily forget it......

Utter pointless rubbish

[Lost_Highway · 2/10 · 30 August 2005]

Reading other more positive comments you could be forgiven for thinking this trash is comparable with John Waters movies, let me assure other Waters fans who may be persuaded to watch this...It's Not. The only comparison between this and Waters movies is that's its marginally twisted. Thats it. If that was all it took to make a good movie then everyone would be doing it, Waters has a visual style and a wicked sense of humour. The makers of Bride of Frank have no style whatsoever, they seem to have mistaken an old inarticulate person as a source of comedy. Guess what, Frank swears a lot, he's old thats pretty much the whole humour section of the movie. As for the "shocking" murders, I swear I nearly fell asleep, this is so ridiculously bad you can't even be shocked by such things, I'm guessing the blood squirting excessively from severed heads is supposed to be funny, it can be if done right, sadly nothing is done right in this film.

A crew member sheds some light

[brentbutterworth · 10/10 · 22 July 2012]

I worked on The Bride of Frank and if memory serves, I was present during the shooting of every scene. Whether or not you like this movie obviously depends on your taste in movies - some love it, some hate it. But please don't expect it to be anything it's not. The people who deride BoF for its production values just don't get it.

The original idea for the project was that Steve Ballot, the writer/director, wanted to shoot a movie that combined the sickest things he could think of, and use the various characters in and around the Newark warehouse where he worked as his actors. The plot, as it was, merely stitched these scenes together. Most of it was shot on weekends. Steve usually sketched out the dialog and storyboarded the scenes on Friday night, then we shot them on Saturday.

We used the best equipment we could get at the time, high-end consumer and low-end professional analog video and audio gear of the early 1990s. It's easy to make a great-looking amateur movie now, with HD and digital editing available to everyone for next-to-nothing, but back then it was almost impossible. Steve spent a lot of time trying to figure out ways to, for example, save one generation of tape in the editing process. That it looks as good as it does is a near-miracle.

Those who see this as some sort of sad exploitation of Frank are dead wrong. I can promise you that Frank had a fantastic time making BoF. He used to spend his weekends sitting alone in the warehouse watching TV (exactly as depicted in the movie). Shooting BoF got him out on the weekends, gave him a lot more social contact than he was used to, put a lot of great food in his stomach (Steve paid the actors mostly in good lunches), gave him the chance to touch women's breasts and asses, and gave him the chance to be revered and loved for exactly who he is.

Trash BoF all you want, but this cheap little movie was released in the U.S. and eight other countries. It played at festivals in NYC, Chicago, San Francisco, Italy, Switzerland, and England - and those are just the ones we know about. Frank came along for most of these, and after the movie screened people would go up to him and greet him like he was Clint Eastwood.

Sadly, many of the people involved in BoF have passed on, including the director. If I may speak for him, let me say to all his detractors ... well, nothing he would have to say to you would be printable. And it would all be correct.

WOW!!! Just unbelievable...

[elroi714 · 7/10 · 29 July 2016]

I loved it! But then I like sick things and Frank is definitely disturbed. A low-budget film that delivers a big bang! SPOILER ALERTS!!! Frank is a homeless guy that works in a warehouse in exchange for a place to stay. His co-workers feel for him and decide he needs a gal, so they put a personal ad in the paper. What ensues is some mind-blowing confrontations between Frank and those willing to reply. Frank is a no nonsense guy and knows what he likes- and what he doesn't. Prepare yourself for a trip to NASTYVILLE!!! A very dark comedy with plenty of gratuitous violence, as Frank will not hesitate to rip your head off and crap down your throat if you rub him the wrong way! Will Frank ever find the gal of his dreams? Patience, Frank, patience...

Awful..but poorly done too

[troubledyouth66 · 1/10 · 20 January 2010]

The first time I watched this movie it made the life of what is emoral become heartfelt, but after a few other times the movie became mundane. An ecocentric humor of realities truth. The movie is so elaborate as to depict a fundamental flaw in nature, a fluid flow of what is to become reality in itself. Retelling what we already know. The working IMMIGRANTS AND THEIR PLIGHT AND STRUGGLE. YET THIS STRUGGLE CONTINUES. Frank a hard working son of an English born mother must face hardships with the Italian community in New York and still uphold mockery from his Polish brethren. A movie fit with hidden lies upon the stuggle in America, showcase a nonstop heartfelt sympathy for a man who strives for much more yet receives acceptance only in wish. Frank. My god, this movie should be banned by everyone and their mother. vile.

Frank!!!!! Fraaaaaaaaank!

[polysicsarebest · 10/10 · 14 January 2009]

THE trash masterpiece; an absolutely unconventional, idiosyncratic, hilarious ode to the working man. Unlike anything you'll ever see; I can guarantee that. If you're into the films of Troma, Harmony Korine, Takashi Miike, John Waters, and Giuseppe Andrews, this should be right up your alley... The first scene in the movie is a little girl getting clubbed with a metal pipe and her head rolled over and then Frank eating her brains. Let's not forget a scene with a 90 year old man knocking someone's head off and defecating down this guy's throat. If all this sounds awful to you, then you may want to avoid. But I was laughing through every scene.

The whole thing is filmed really stylishly, with some psychedelic visuals, a bizarre and evil score, and some of the funniest and weirdest actors I've ever seen in a film. I especially love one actor who juggles and sings opera while confronting Frank.

Highly recommended. One of my all time favorite films.

Fantastic movie . . . one of the sickest, most twisted I've ever seen

[royschwa · 9/10 · 27 September 2005]

I love this movie. It's sick. It's twisted. Worst acting ever. No redeeming social values. It's the New Jersey that I know. There are scenes in it that will make you laugh until your sides hurt. There are scenes that will repulse you in ways you may not have been repulsed before. This movie must have been made with a lot of heart in it, and I have to give it 9 stars.

It's basically the store of Frank, a homeless guy who gets adopted by a bunch of guys working in a north New Jersey warehouse. He helps around the warehouse, and gets to live there as his reward. Soon, he starts panging for love. The movie is essentially about his search for love.

If you like Troma, you would love this movie.

A demented minor masterpiece

[rrfrank · 10/10 · 12 September 2004]

An homage to the workingman disguised as an exercise in sickness and depravity. Filled with biting humor and priceless genuine characters. I've seen my share of no budget gross out flicks and they all sucked. Bride of Frank is proof that a talented person can produce something riveting with a camcorder, a few locations, and a troupe of 'common people'. Although technically very rough (shot on video) the movie is more creatively photographed than a lot of other higher-budgeted fare. There are other flaws, but not worth mentioning. This is a must-see.

Repulsive trash,but I like it!

[HumanoidOfFlesh · 9/10 · 13 September 2002]

"Bride of Frank" is totally bad taste.It's extremely low-budget,crude and stupid,but some scenes made me laugh hysterically.An old man who is playing Frank has one of the ugliest faces I have ever seen.She is searching for woman because he wants breasts!During his quest he kills many people in hilariously sickening ways.The acting is amateurish,the gore is cheesy and over-the-top and the dialogue is extremely vulgar!Anyway if you love John Waters classics or Troma's stuff,you'll laugh until it hurts with this one.8 out of 10-only for fans of bad taste cinema.

Frank is just looking for love and big boobs

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 15 May 2019]

Crazy geriatric dude Frank (a genuinely creepy portrayal by wizened old fossil Frank Meyer) works and lives at a warehouse in New Jersey. Frank just wants to find a woman with large breasts to love. Moreover, anyone who gets on Frank's bad side he simply murders in all sorts of brutal ways.

Writer/director Steve Ballot goes out of his way to cover all the satisfying scuzzy bases with this frequently funny and often blithely offensive micro-budget horror/comedy/splatter gem: We've got a colorful array of loveably sleazy characters (John Kolendriski in particular is a total riot as boorish loudmouth truck driver Johnny Horizon), a most enjoyable trip to a strip club with a hot blonde babe shakin' her stuff on stage, an amusing sense of in-your-face unapologetic lowbrow humor, astounding moments of outrageous gore (Frank running over a little girl's head with a truck and eating her brains rates as a definite gruesome highlight), nice use of dingy locations, paint-peeling profane dialogue, inspired bits of deliciously disgusting depravity (Frank literally poops down an obnoxious nerdy guy's neck and has sex with a fat gal's eye socket after he tears out one of her eyes!), and even a happy ending for Frank along with an unforgettably alarming playing footsie scene. An absolute demented hoot.

A joy to behold on VHS, but the DVD sucks

[monstermonkeyhead · 2 December 2003]

Here's yet another case of DVD destroying a great movie. Like many of you I first saw this masterpiece in its VHS video form, which is 100 times superior in picture quality to the official DVD release. The picture and sound on the DVD are garbage. It's a sad shame for this great movie. It's takes at least 10 minutes for you to be able to actually hit the play selection on the menu to begin the movie. The special features are worthless as well. Whoever engineered this DVD should be punched very hard in the stomach a few times. Hell, get yourself a VHS version and convert it yourself to DVD-r on a record you buy at Walmart, and it'll be better. In short: fantastic movie, see it anyway you can, but the VHS version is the one to get.

"I just want boobs"

[AnusPresley · 10/10 · 11 November 2021]

Frank Meyer is the new Humphrey Bogart. Monosyllabic one liners to the characters around him he deems irrelevant. He is a man of simple tastes and a disdain for complication. He just is who he is. Deadpan and pure. This flick cannot be described. It is what it is. Cheap, nasty and pure. For gutter cinema aesthetes, it is gold.