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Samuel L. Jackson, LL Cool J, Colin Farrell, and Michelle Rodriguez in S.W.A.T. - Die Spezialeinheit (2003)

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S.W.A.T. - Die Spezialeinheit

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  • Patrol Officer: [Deleted Scene: Gun shop where owners are watching bank robbery coverage on TV, and an LAPD Patrol Officer runs in with his partner] You got anything that can penetrate body armor?
  • Gun Shop Owner: No sir, those are restricted weapons...
  • Patrol Officer: [Interrupts] Bullshit. What do you got in the back?
  • Gun Shop Owner: You know, I actually might have a thing or two...
  • [Heads to back of shop, and says to other gun shop owner]
  • Gun Shop Owner: You want to get a case of those .223's for em?
  • Gun Shop Owner 2: You got it.
  • Gun Shop Owner: [Returns with 3 assault rifles] Here we go... how do you plan on paying for these?
  • Patrol Officer: The city will reimburse you.
  • Gun Shop Owner: For restricted weapons out of the back of my shop?
  • Patrol Officer: [as the 2 officers run back out] We owe ya!
  • Hondo: How can I trust a man who won't eat a good old-fashioned American hotdog?
  • Street: [smiling] He's a vegetarian.
  • Street: So why'd you pick me?
  • Hondo: To piss off the captain.
  • Hondo: You still want to work S.W.A.T?
  • Chris: No. I just enjoy applying all the time.
  • Brian Gamble: You know, I didn't know that they made bulletproof bras. Is it just me? But you know, I didn't know that.
  • Chris Sanchez: What they need to make are bulletproof condoms big enough to fit your big head.
  • Hondo: You know what they say, you're either SWAT or you're not.
  • Deke: We need to sell that shit on eBay.
  • Street: I only have one.
  • Deke: We'll split the profits fifty-fifty, corner the market. Break 'em down like a shotgun - The Polish Penetrator!
  • [about Hondo's S.W.A.T. selection]
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sanchez is a woman and Street, well he's on my shit list
  • Hondo: Hey! I'm on your shit list too and I'm the team captain.
  • Boxer: I just want to know what you did to my little sister.
  • Street: She's 28, Boxer, okay? And trust me, she's not so little.
  • McCabe: [laughing] Oh no, you didn't...
  • [From the first trailer]
  • Hondo: Let's try to get in the killing mode.
  • Chris: I am in killing mode.
  • Hondo: So why you smiling?
  • Chris: Because it tickles me.
  • Gus: [discussing his wife's disapproval of the soft drink Dr. Pepper] You know the deal, Jim. When we got married, I converted to Mormonism. We can't consume anything that alters our state of mind. We treat out bodies with respect.
  • Street: And I treat mine like an amusement park. That's the differences that make this country great!
  • [last lines]
  • Hondo: Technically, our watch has been over for 12 hours.
  • Street: So?
  • Hondo: Yeah. What the hell. Mount up.
  • Neighbor in Alley: Y'all ain't got nothing better to do than to be haulin' off black people off to jail? Just perpetuatin' a cycle you know!
  • Deke: [putting the criminal in the police car] Let's see how liberal you are when he breaks into your place!
  • Neighbor in Alley: MMmm hm!
  • Deke: Mmm hm my ass!
  • Gamble: Fuck you and S.W.A.T.
  • McCabe: [lying in the disabled learjet] How's Boxer?
  • Hondo: What do you care?
  • McCabe: C'mon, Hondo, just give me that.
  • Hondo: He's going to make it.
  • McCabe: Good.
  • Hondo: Just couldn't resist, could ya? So what do you wanna do?
  • McCabe: Goddamnit, Sarge.
  • [McCabe shoots himself dead]
  • Hondo: Street. Don't beat him so badly I can't get a rematch, all right?
  • Street: I won't make any promises.
  • Hondo: It's my money, man.
  • Chris: You wanna come to my house?
  • Street: That was easy.
  • Chris: My kid's having a birthday party tomorrow.
  • Hondo: The reason we're gathered here on our God-given, much-needed day of rest is that we have a Polish hostage.
  • Deke: So what if he's Polish?
  • Hondo: No, no. Means he's one of those: "Anyone comes in, I'll blow my head off" type of guys.
  • Chris Sanchez: Just because I bought you a drink doesn't mean you're getting laid tonight.
  • Street: So, what does two drinks mean?
  • Hondo: You look like you need a Band-Aid.
  • Street: Somebody else needs a body bag downstairs.
  • Alex Montel: American Greed.
  • Street: Shut up.
  • Alex Montel: So reliable.
  • Street: Shut Up! Another officer is dead because you shot your mouth off.
  • Alex Montel: That's how I like cops - dead.
  • Street: You wanna join him? Huh?
  • Alex Montel: He knew the dangers, no? That's why he signed up to be a police officer. Carry a gun in the Wild West - like you, Cowboy. Would you be sitting here if this job wasn't dangerous? Huh? Anyway... killing him probably got you 20 new recruits. You should thank me.
  • Street: Yeah, you're right, I should. Boxer, thank him for me, will ya?
  • Boxer: Love to.
  • [Elbows Montel in the stomach]
  • Hondo: 10-David, this is 70-David.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: 70-David, where the hell are you?
  • Hondo: We are somewhere around Sixth and Trenton. We lost communication in the tunnels. Where's our backup?
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: [**POSSIBLE SPOILER**] Everything I have is going to Hawthorne Airport. That's where your friends Gamble and T.J. McCabe are headed.
  • Hondo: That's the other side of town! Send a couple units to pick us up.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: PICK YOU UP? For all I know you're in on this! I got a good mind to bring you in!
  • Hondo: [to Street, Sanchez, and Deke] Like hell. Come on, let's go.
  • Street: [to Gamble] Is this your girlfriend? Cute.
  • Travis: No, but you can be my bitch.
  • Street: [recoils in mock horror] Really?
  • [to Captain Fuller]
  • Hondo: Shame you're not playing a terrorist.
  • Hondo: Sorry. Wrong room.
  • Chris: Who are you looking for?
  • Hondo: Chris Sanchez.
  • Chris: I'm Chris Sanchez.
  • Hondo: YOU'RE Chris Sanchez?
  • Chris: Look, if you're Internal Affairs, that guy had razorblades in his mouth. I had to put him down hard. I'm sick and tired of these bullshit complains because some vato doesn't like getting thrown to the pavement by a woman.
  • Hondo: [Raises eyebrow] I look like IAD to you?
  • [Sanchez shrugs]
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Nice job.
  • Hondo: Don't sound so happy.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Still got a problem. He's still here.
  • [Gestures towards Alex Montel]
  • Chris: Road trip?
  • Street: [Beaten up from the fight with Gamble] Road trip.
  • Hondo: Yeah... road trip. Guess you'll have to fire us later.
  • [Street spits blood out of his mouth, team walks away toward arriving SWAT truck with Fuller smiling at the team for once in the whole movie]
  • Hondo: [Deke shoots a card] 10 of Spades. Spade flush.
  • Street: Hondo, isn't that a straight flush?
  • Hondo: Hold the phone. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten of Spades. Deke!
  • Deke: Beats four Aces in Compton any day!
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sometimes doing the right thing isn't doing the right thing.
  • Sgt. Howard: What the hell is that supposed mean?
  • Velasquez: We have ID'd those suspects.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Great! Who are they?
  • Velasquez: Former officer Gamble and Officer T.J. McCabe.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Gamble, as in Street's ex-partner, Gamble?
  • Velasquez: Roger.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: We have got two SWAT-trained guys leading this attack. How do we know the rest of the team isn't in on it?
  • Velasquez: Because I can vouch for Hondo.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: You wanna bet 100 million dollars on that?
  • McCabe: What? No roll, Hondo?
  • Hondo: How do you know I didn't?
  • McCabe: You didn't, did you?
  • Hondo: They only roll in John Woo movies, not in real life.
  • Gamble: So this is what it's come down to, bustin' down doors with J-Lo?
  • [after hearing Street over radio yell officer down]
  • Hondo: Flip a bitch!
  • Deke: Flippin' a bitch!
  • Hondo: Street, you have a driver's license?
  • Street: Got a library card.
  • Hondo: Good enough. So get your uniform on. You're driving me around today.
  • Brian Gamble: [getting chewed out by Fuller for his stunt at the bank] That woman is alive because of what we did!
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Yeah, alive and suing the city for millions. The Chief said if he's gonna pay, somebody else does, too, and it sure as hell isn't gonna be me.
  • Brian Gamble: C'mon Fuller we get...
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: [Interrupting] *Captain* Fuller.
  • Brian Gamble: Captain Fuller, we get two seconds to make a decision! You get two months to sit there and tear it apart!
  • Velasquez: SWAT means "Special Weapons *And* Tactics". Where were your tactics out there?
  • Street: Saving a woman from getting shot. That's where are tactics were.
  • Brian Gamble: Yeah, every cop in this department knows that we did the right thing.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sometimes, doing the right thing isn't doing the right thing.
  • Sgt. Howard: What the hell does that mean?
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Sergeant?
  • [Fuller turns to Street and Gamble]
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: You disobeyed a direct order, end of story. You're both off SWAT.
  • Velasquez: Captain. They're two of our best officers.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: Well I'm not sticking them back in the field after a stunt like that.
  • Brian Gamble: [Becoming angry] Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that saving lives was goddamn stunt!
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: [Becoming angrier] Hey, you've got a big mouth, and apparently you're quick on the trigger, and *that* is why your ass is in a sling!
  • Velasquez: Captain Fuller, if you're really gonna put them off SWAT at least keep them in the division. Give'em a shot at getting back.
  • Capt. Thomas Fuller: [pause] Fine, stick'em in the gun cage. Get'em out of my sight.
  • McCabe: This was supposed to be simple snatch and extract.
  • Brian Gamble: Boxer was a threat, T.J.
  • McCabe: Boxer was my friend!
  • Brian Gamble: He was mine too.
  • Alex Montel: Stop crying. You can buy new friends.
  • McCabe: Don't give me any more reason to kill you.
  • Alex Montel: What are going to do, shoot me? You should relax a little bit, my friend. I'm the money here. Don't forget it.
  • Brian Gamble: We don't have time for this shit. Look, you can go ahead. I know this sucks. Let's worry about it in paradise, all right?
  • Deke: Tell daddy how you want it.
  • [the team's progress is halted by a firmly locked gate]
  • Deke: Ain't this a bitch?
  • Street: A cold hard one.
  • Hondo: I need your A-game boys... and girl.
  • Chris: Remind me to buy some shares in Kevlar.
  • Velasquez: [Deleted Scene: Hondo's Introduction- Lt. Velasquez says to Officers of SWAT Division] Gentlemen! Our new 70-David has just made his first stealth entry. If you don't know him, you've probably heard of him: Sergeant Dan "Hondo" Harrelson!
  • [Officers cheer and applaud, with Boxer and McCabe's voices louder than the others]
  • Velasquez: Here is a man who will outrun, outfight, outshoot
  • [Hondo raises his eyebrows in disbelief at Velasquez]
  • Velasquez: , outsmart, out-paperwork, ALL OF YOU.
  • McCabe: I got 20 bucks says otherwise.
  • Boxer: I'll cover 10 of it for you.
  • Velasquez: Now you know gambling's not allowed, and I shouldn't have to tell you that... but I'll cover that 10.
  • Boxer: Done.
  • Velasquez: Few words, Sergeant?
  • Hondo: As a matter of fact...
  • [Pretends to smack TJ with his book]
  • Hondo: Here's where watching 'The World's Most Exciting Police Chases' pays off.
  • [about Boxer's mustache]
  • Boxer: Your mother likes it.
  • Street: So does your sister.
  • [after shooting through a hostage to take out the bank robber holding her by the neck]
  • Gamble: I saved a hostage from getting shot.
  • Alex Montel: What do you make, $66,000 a year?
  • Street: Not even with overtime.
  • Alex Montel: Ha, loser.
  • Hondo: Oh look, they got their own airport security.
  • Hondo: Drop Fruit of the Loomski in the A-car.
  • Hondo: [Deleted Scene: Hondo Reviews Files at Home outside, hears a noise on the ground, then looks down at a deer from his balcony] Hey! Get the hell off my damn property.
  • Hondo: [Deer looks at him] There's coyotes up here.
  • Hondo: As a rule, they're punks, but if I was you, I'd watch my back.
  • Deke: [Deleted Scene: Locker Room] So my wife's all worried about me workin' SWAT.
  • Boxer: They always are at first.
  • Deke: [Imitates his wife] "How am I gonna take care of the kids if something happens to you?" So I called to get a little extra insurance. When I tell the chick down there I'm workin SWAT, guess what she does?
  • McCabe: Laughs?
  • Boxer: Hangs up?
  • Deke: She laughs her ass off, AND hangs up.
  • McCabe: [as Boxer and TJ laugh] Bitch. Alright guys, take care.
  • Travis: [after almost getting into a fight with Street in the bar before Gamble broke it up] You should have let me beat his ass.
  • Gamble: I just saved yours.
  • Brian Gamble: Terrible day, I need a cocktail.
  • Street: I'm staying.
  • Brian Gamble: [In disbelief] You're what? After that?
  • Street: In time, Fuller will have some new asses to chew on, and he'll put us back on the team.
  • Brian Gamble: Fuller, is a cop pincher in this department, brother and he's never gonna give us a second chance.
  • Street: So, what are you gonna do, piss away the hard work you did to get here?
  • Brian Gamble: Piss *what* away, Jimmy? The cage? C'mon man, we're better than that and you know it. Wanna join me? Oh, I guess that a real partner wouldn't have to ask that would he?
  • Street: A real partner would stood up for what he did at the bank.
  • Brian Gamble: I saved that hostage.
  • Street, Brian Gamble: You disobeyed the hold.
  • Brian Gamble: No. I saved that hostage.
  • Street: [Sternley shouting] You disobeyed the hold! You made that decision yourself, and you shot a hostage, Jesus Brian!
  • Brian Gamble: [Shocked] Woah, you sounded a lot like Fuller. Isn't that what you were talking about in there, you rat me out, you cut a deal to get back on the team, Jim?
  • Street: Did I cut a deal?
  • Brian Gamble: Yeah, did you?
  • Street: How many times have I cover up for you and all your goddamn stunts?
  • Brian Gamble: [Shrugs] That's what a real partner
  • [Picks up his badge]
  • Brian Gamble: You just picked a paycheck over me, bro.
  • [Tosses his badge to Street]
  • Street: You just picked yourself over everything else.
  • Brian Gamble: You wanna stay here, be Fuller's bitch? You go right ahaead, but I can't do it, nope can't do it. Goddmanit goddamnit god
  • [slaps a locker in anger]
  • Brian Gamble: damnit, Jim
  • Street: We were partners for 5 years, and this is how you wanna end it?
  • Brian Gamble: Nuh, uh. *I* didn't end it. You sold me out to the press.
  • Street: You know, I never realize until now how full of shit you are.
  • [Tosses the badge back to Gamble, who comes over and grabs Street by the shirt in anger]
  • Brian Gamble: Fuck you, and SWAT.
  • [Pushes Street back and breaks a mirror behind him]
  • Street: [to McCabe] Looks like you're not the prettiest one on S.W.A.T. anymore.

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Samuel L. Jackson, LL Cool J, Colin Farrell, and Michelle Rodriguez in S.W.A.T. - Die Spezialeinheit (2003)
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