Condiviso con te
- Mark Darcy: Natasha, this is Bridget Jones. Bridget, this is Natasha. Bridget works in a publishing house and she used to play around naked in my paddling pool.
- Mark Darcy: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences. I realize when I met you at the Turkey Curry Buffet that I was unforgivably rude and wearing a reindeer jumper that my mother had given me the day before. But the thing is, um... what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact... perhaps despite appearances, I like you. Very much.
- Bridget: [scoffs] Apart from the smoking and the drinking and the vulgar mother... and the verbal diarrhea...
- Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.
- Bridget: It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- Bridget: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. Well, I meant it, but I was so stupid that I didn't mean what I meant... After all, it's only a diary. Everyone knows diaries are just... full of crap.
- Mark Darcy: Yes, I know that. I was just buying you a new one.
- Mark Darcy: Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and dresses like her mother.
- Mark Darcy: Bridget!
- Bridget: Mark... What are you doing here?
- Mark Darcy: I was just wondering if you were available for Bar Mitzvahs and Christenings in addition to Ruby Weddings.
- Bridget: I thought you were in America.
- Mark Darcy: Well I was... but I realized I had forgotten something here.
- Bridget: Which was...?
- Mark Darcy: Well, I realized that I had forgotten to... kiss you goodbye, do you mind?
- Bridget: Umm... not really, no. So... does this mean you're *not* going to America?
- Mark Darcy: No... not.
- Bridget: Does this mean you're staying here?
- Mark Darcy: It would seem so...
- Mark Darcy: [notices her friends cheering] Friends of yours?
- Bridget: Oh, haha... never seen them before in my life.
- [From the UK release]
- [answering phone]
- Bridget: Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Mum... Hi.
- Bridget: Thank you, Daniel, that is very good to know. But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse.
- Bridget: You once said you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say likewise. I mean there are stupid things your mum buys you, tonight's another... classic. You're haughty, and you always say the wrong thing in every situation and I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns. But, you're a nice man and I like you. If you wanted to pop by some time that might be nice... more than nice.
- Mark Darcy: Right, crikey.
- Daniel Cleaver: Come on Bridget, we belong together - you, me, poor little skirt. If I can't make it with you then I can't make it with anyone.
- Bridget: That's not a good enough offer for me.
- Bridget: Did I really run round your lawn naked?
- Mark Darcy: Oh, yes. You were four and I was eight.
- Bridget: Well, that's a pretty big age difference. It's quite pervy really.
- Mark Darcy: Yes, I like to think so.
- Richard Finch: Why do you wanna work on television?
- Bridget: I've got to leave my job because I shagged my boss.
- Richard Finch: Fair enough. Start on Monday.
- Bridget: I owe you an apology about Daniel. He said you ran off with his fiancée and left him brokenhearted.
- Mark Darcy: No, it was the other way around. My wife. My heart.
- Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
- Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarrhea.
- Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.
- Mark Darcy: I should have done this years ago.
- Daniel Cleaver: Done what?
- Mark Darcy: This.
- [Darcy punches Cleaver, hard]
- Daniel Cleaver: [shocked] Ow. Fuck me, that really hurt. What the fuck do you think you're doing?
- Mark Darcy: This.
- [Darcy punches Cleaver again, even harder]
- Perpetua: Anyone going to introduce me?
- Bridget: [to herself] Ah. Introduce people with thoughtful details. Perpetua, this is Mark Darcy. Mark is a prematurely middle-aged prick with a cruel raced ex-wife. Perpetua is a fat-ass old bag who spends her time bossing me around.
- [to herself]
- Bridget: Maybe not.
- Perpetua: Anyone going to introduce me?
- Bridget: Ah, Perpetua. This is Mark Darcy. Mark is a top barrister. Comes from Grafton Underwood. Perpetua is one of my work colleagues.
- Daniel Cleaver: [after crashing through the window] Uhh... Jesus. All right.
- Mark Darcy: All right?
- Daniel Cleaver: Enough.
- Mark Darcy: Enough, enough.
- [Darcy begins to walk away]
- Daniel Cleaver: Wanker.
- [now having had enough, Darcy punches him hard, knocking Cleaver down]
- Daniel Cleaver: Now these are very silly little boots, Jones. And this is a very silly little dress. And, um, these are, fuck me, absolutely enormous panties.
- Bridget: Jesus. Fuck.
- Daniel Cleaver: No, no. Don't apologize. I like them. Hello, Mummy.
- [they kiss]
- Daniel Cleaver: I'm sorry, I have to have another look. They're too good to be true.
- Bridget: No...
- Daniel Cleaver: They're nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm wearing something similar myself.
- Daniel Cleaver: I've been going crazy. I can't stop thinking about you, and thinking about what an idiot I've been. Christ, is that blue soup?
- Mark Darcy: All right Cleaver, outside.
- Daniel Cleaver: [half laughing] I'm sorry? Outside? Should I bring my dueling pistols or my sword?
- Bridget: Are you staying at your parents for New Years?
- Mark Darcy: Yes. You?
- Bridget: Ah, no. Was at a party in London last night, I'm afraid I'm a bit hungover.
- [nervous laugh]
- Bridget: Wish I could be home with my head in a toilet like all normal people...
- [pause]
- Bridget: ...ah! New Year's Resolution: drink less... and quit smoking... and quit talking total nonsense to strangers... actually, quit talking, full stop.
- [awkward silence]
- Mark Darcy: Yes. Well. Perhaps it's time to eat.
- Mark Darcy: I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet, I was unforgivably rude, and wearing a reindeer jumper.
- Bridget: Look, are you and Cosmo in on this together? Because every time I see you, you seem to go out of your way to make me feel like a *complete* idiot. And you really needn't bother: I already feel like an idiot most of the time anyway - with or without the fireman's pole.
- Bridget: [to Cosmo and Woney] Tell me, is it one in four marriages that end in divorce these days, or one in three?
- Mark Darcy: One in three.
- Bridget: Daniel, what you just did is actually illegal in several countries.
- Daniel Cleaver: That is one of the reasons that I'm so thrilled to be living in Britain today.
- Bridget: [as Una Alconberry] No, Pam. Besides, the gravy needs sieving.
- Mark Darcy: [as Pamela Jones] Surely not, just stir it Una.
- Bridget: Resolution #1: Uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: Always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.
- Daniel Cleaver: [lands on restaurant table] I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!
- Mark Darcy: [places hand in someone's salad] Oh, God! I'm sorry!
- [wipes dirty hand on man's suit]
- Mark Darcy: I really am sorry. I-I will pay.
- Daniel Cleaver: [fed up] Had enough Darcy?
- Mark Darcy: [annoyed] Not quite, if that's all right by you.
- [punches Daniel hard]
- Waiter: Happy birthday to you...
- [everyone joins in, stopping fight]
- Waiter: Happy birthday to you!
- Mark Darcy: Happy birthday dear what's-his-name...
- Daniel Cleaver: Happy birthday to you...
- [tackles Darcy, both fly out window]
- Bridget: Apparently, I used to run round naked in his paddling pool.
- Daniel Cleaver: I bet you did, you dirty bitch.
- Daniel Cleaver: There once was a young woman from Ealing, / Who had a particular feeling. / She lay on her back, / And opened her crack, / And pissed all over the ceiling.
- [From the trailer]
- [answering phone]
- Bridget: Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Dad... Hi.
- Mark Darcy: Natasha, this is Bridget Jones. Bridget, this is Natasha. Bridget works in a publishing house and she used to play around naked in my paddling pool.
- Natasha: So how autobiographical is your work, Salman?
- Salman Rushdie: You know, its an amazing thing, nobody has ever asked me that question.