Very few movies can actually make a person question their own intelligence after viewing. "Backyard Dogs" (for me, at least) managed to do just that.
"Backyard Dogs" is the story of three friends (Lee, Cole, and Kristy) who enter the world of backyard wrestling. For those who are unfamiliar with backyard wrestling, it is generally an amateur form of professional wrestling that one sees on television. It is often carried out by younger people (often times kids) with little or no training whatsoever, and the matches are held in a variety of unprofessional locations, including people's backyards (hence the name).
The movie wildly exaggerates the world of backyard wrestling as being populated by superstars, as drawing large numbers of fans and lots of money to the events. It also declares that backyard wrestling is actually "real," as opposed to being staged like the normal professional wrestling matches you see on t.v. With this in mind, Cole and Lee set out to become backyard wrestlers themselves so they can rake in the dough. With the help of a friend, they recruit Kristy to help manage the team behind the scenes. Together, the three make their way through the ranks of the west coast's backyard wrestling federations, until they catch the eye of a promoter named Z.Z. Nash who sees something in the team (though its never really made clear what) and a Japanese wrestling company called FMW. The two are then booked into some major wrestling events. This leads to Lee and Cole being placed into more high-profile matches and eventually the dramatic conclusion of the movie, which includes one last match that it seems will solidify the two men's careers.
There is so much wrong with this movie that I scarcely know where to begin, but I'll start with the acting, which is horrible. None of the people in this film are even remotely convincing in their roles as they bumble along with their lives. Particularly annoying is the character of Kristy (played by Bree Turner). She is supposed to be smart, computer savvy, and good at promotions, yet she often comes across as nothing more than an annoying cheerleader with really bad ideas. An excellent example of this involves her inspiration for naming the team of Cole and Lee the "Backyard Dogs." She steps in a pile of dog droppings, and hence the name "Backyard Dogs" is born. Some of her other ideas are so insanely bad, that the audience may even question if she's trying to help Cole and Lee achieve stardom or make them look like two of the biggest goofs on Earth. Turner's entire performance seems wooden and forced, and makes me wonder how she ever got roles in later films.
None of the other actors are much better. Scott Hamm, who plays the part of "Cole," sometimes sounds as though he's reading his lines directly from a cue card, and Walter Emanuel Jones, who plays "Lee," gives a performance that seems almost as forced as Bree Turner's.
To be fair to the actors, they aren't given much to work with. The movie's story is as ridiculous as it sounds and riddled with plot holes. The dialog is horrible, and full of clichés and goofy lines that make no sense. There's also hardly any character development. Kristy got in trouble with an internet site she was running, and a romance blooms from out of nowhere between her and Cole, but that's about it. The two-dimensional characters go about their business, and the audience is simply along for the ride, but with little reason to care.
And then there's the "wrestling" action. While all of the action isn't supposed to look like what you see on television (remember, this is being done by amateurs, and its supposed to be "real"), what it does look like is complete garbage. There is nothing convincing about the fights, which often involve no "wrestling" and just a bunch of thugs in costumes pretending to hit each other with chairs, clubs, bricks, and anything else you can think of. The action is so bad, that its impossible to imagine that anybody in their right mind would want to see fights like this, let alone pay money to do so as the movie suggests is happening.
There have been a number of movies about professional wrestling made in the past, but none have required the audience to suspend their disbelief as much or as long as this one does. Non-wrestling fans will either laugh themselves silly at this predictable and ridiculous story, or go back to the video store to demand their money back.
Actual fans of professional wrestling (at least those above the age of 16) will most likely be equally as disappointed, if not more so. I include myself in this latter group. I have been a fan of professional wrestling since I was in third grade, and I continue to watch it more-or-less faithfully to this day (as of writing this, I am currently 31). I enjoy many different styles of pro-wrestling, including lucha libre, the standard American style such as WWE promotes, and (my favorite) hardcore/extreme wrestling. With that in mind, I tell you that this movie disappointed me on so many levels, not only because of how bad it turned out to be as a whole, but because of how it portrays wrestling and its fans.
Overall, this movie is a disaster, and (while not as bad as such monstrosities like "Manos: Hand of Fate" and "Battlefield Earth") clearly deserves its spot on this site's Worst 100 Movies list.
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