Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Chi Ma: Master Doe

Quotes 

• Master Doe : I have a mortal wound.

  Master Tang : Where? Where does it hurt?

  Master Doe : Oh, pretty much around the big bloody spot.

• Master Tang : I remember a long time ago, when a friend told me there would be a chosen one.

  [flashback to a younger Tang talking to Master Doe] 

  Master Doe : There will be a chosen one.

  Master Tang : He then told me of the significance.

  [flashback] 

  Master Doe : It will be significant.

  Master Tang : And then he killed the dog.

  [flashback, Master Doe closes his eyes, we hear a fart then a dog whimper] 

  Chosen One : I now officially know too much, and why are you in bed?

  Master Tang : Oh, you wouldn't believe what happened next...

  Chosen One : [flashback begins]  No wait, please!

  Master Tang : If you insist.

• Master Doe : Let me know if you see a RadioShack.

• Master Doe : Uhh, water, everywhere. All over me, I'm getting wet. I am falling, you are falling, we are falling!

  [shouts] 

  Master Doe : A whale!

• [the Chosen One is preparing to fight Master Betty; a man comes up to him] 

  Master Doe : Wait! You are not ready!

  Chosen One : Who are you?

  Master Doe : Ling's father! Whee-oh-whee-oh-whee-oh-whee!

  Chosen One : Oh, dear.

• Master Doe : Please, I'm dying. You must listen to me. I fear the Chosen One may give up hope. This must not happen. The creature in his tongue, although a little disturbing, possesses great supernatural powers. Without Tonguey, the Council is invincible. They will come to Betty's aid. Do you understand?

  Master Tang : [nods head up and down]  No. I do not understand.