Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000 Video)

Kevin Conroy: Bruce Wayne

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Batman tosses the Joker out of the projection booth and slams him against a large building block] 

  Batman : I'll break you in two...

  The Joker : Oh, Batman, if you'd had the guts for that kind of fun, you'd have done it years ago! I, on the other hand...

  [draws a switchblade, slashes Batman across the chest and stabs him in the leg. Batman falls down the pile of building blocks and hits the ground hard. The Joker jumps down beside him] 

  The Joker : You've lost, Batman. Robin is mine. The last sound you'll hear will be our laughter.

  [picks up the gun and tosses it to Robin] 

  The Joker : Here you go, Sonny-boy! Make Daddy proud! Deliver the punchline.

  [Robin giggles; he pulls the trigger and the BANG flag pops out] 

  Batman : Tim...

  [Robin only continues to giggle] 

  The Joker : Do it!

  [Robin turns and shoots the Joker, impaling him with the flag] 

  The Joker : That's not funny... that's not...

  [dies] 

• Timothy Drake : [while working on a communications array] 

  Timothy Drake : [not even looking up]  You might as well show yourself, I heard you coming a mile away.

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : [Batman becomes visible] 

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : You knew I was here?

  Timothy Drake : I'm no Boy Wonder anymore, but that old training never goes away, even at my age.

• Terry McGinnis/Batman : Where's the Joker?

  Timothy Drake : Joker?

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : Drop the act. I know you're working for him.

  Timothy Drake : No. Joker's gone. I don't know where he is. Really.

  Bruce Wayne : The suit's sensors aren't picking up any pulse fluctuations. He's telling the truth.

  Timothy Drake : I don't do this anymore. I have a home and family. I gave this up years ago. Kid's stuff. That's all it was.

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : He may be telling the truth, but he's still whack.

  Timothy Drake : Fun and games. Boy Wonder playing hero. Fighting off bad guys and no one ever gets... oh God. I killed him. I didn't mean to. I tried so hard to forget. But I still hear the shot. Still see the dead smile. Every night, the dreams get stronger... he's there when I sleep. Whispering! Laughing! Telling me that I'm as bad as he is! We're both the same!

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : I'm calling an ambulance.

  Timothy Drake : No. I'm all right. Forgive me, Terry, old nasty memories twist inside me like bad oysters. Nothing, really. I'm perfectly fine now.

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : How do you know my name?

  Timothy Drake : There's nothing about you I don't know, Bat-fake.

  [throws the steel ball he is holding, which turns into an electric claw and grabs Terry by the arm, Terry collapses to the ground, immobilized] 

  Bruce Wayne : Terry!

  Timothy Drake : Have a time out, kid. Can't let you spoil the party too soon. And Brucie, I'm sure you've got Batboy wired somehow. That's just peachy. Because I want you to see every minute of this. It's a killer.

  [laughs hysterically, holding his head, and after a while, becomes the Joker] 

  The Joker : [takes off the lab coat, showing the purple tights underneath]  Oh, I never get tired of doing that!

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : Drake, you're the Joker?

  The Joker : That flabby oaf doesn't realize I'm using him as a time share. Beneath this puckish exterior lies the mind of a genius years ahead of my time. In the weeks young Robin was under my tutelage, I used him as the subject of my greatest experiment. Using cutting-edge genetics technology which I pinched here and there, I encoded my DNA in a microchip and set it in Bird Boy's bird brain.

• Terry McGinnis : He's tough. Any suggestions, boss?

  Bruce Wayne : Joker's vain and likes to talk. He'll try to distract you, but don't listen. Block it out and power on through.

  Terry McGinnis : Wait... I like to talk, too.

• Terry McGinnis : Wait... Joker smashed up the cases. But why was this the only costume he went out of his way to destroy?

  Bruce Wayne : Robin did shoot him. He also knew he was the only one who ever beat him.

  Terry McGinnis : A ghost out for revenge? I don't buy it. I've talked with Drake. He's got less love for that costume than the Joker. I think somehow he's behind this.

  Bruce Wayne : That's crazy.

  Terry McGinnis : So was Drake, once. Look. Here's a readout of everything the Jokerz have stolen. Now let's combine them into something that would be used by a communications expert. Someone of Tim Drake's caliber.

  Bruce Wayne : [the objects on the computer screen moves together into a strange device]  Satellite jamming system. Whoever uses this can access satellite defenses and fire them at will.

  Terry McGinnis : Someone already has. I suspected Jordan Price of being the Joker. But the Jokerz were on your company yacht trying to slag Price. I got him off the boat before someone blasted it into splinters. I hate to say it, but I think your little Robin has turned into a bitter old crow. He's gotta be the brains behind this new Joker. It's harsh. But who else is there?

• [a batarang flies across the length of the Batcave, neatly decapitates a mannequin of Two-Face, and returns to Bruce's hand. Ace whines softly] 

  Bruce Wayne : [smiling]  Still got it.

• Terry McGinnis : It's funny. You told me about all your other baddies, but you never mentioned him. He was the greatest, wasn't he?

  Bruce Wayne : It was hardly a popularity contest. He was a psychopath. A monster.

• Bruce Wayne : It's not possible. He died years ago.

  Terry McGinnis : You're SURE?

  Bruce Wayne : I was there.

  Terry McGinnis : [softly]  You killed him... didn't you?

  Bruce Wayne : [Bruce does not look at him] 

  Terry McGinnis : That was it, wasn't it? He was gonna do something so terrible you had no other choice.

• Terry McGinnis/Batman : [to the Jokerz]  It's a school night, boys and girls. I'm gonna have to call your folks.

• Batman : Where's Robin?

  The Joker : [playing dumb]  Robin? There's no Robin here.

  Harley Quinn : Maybe he means our little Jay.

  The Joker : Of course! That's it!

  [seeing him indicate a nearby curtain, Batman heads towards it] 

  Harley Quinn : Uh-uh. No peeking.

  [pulling a bazooka out from under the table; she fires it and snares him in cable restraints] 

  Harley Quinn : [patting it affectionately]  Mommy's little helper.

• Bruce Wayne : I want you to give back the Batman suit.

  Terry McGinnis : What? Why?

  Bruce Wayne : There is no reason for you to continue. You've made your father's killers pay for his murder, then put your own needs aside to help the city when it most needed a hero. You've honored the reputation of Batman many times over, and for that, I thank you.

  Terry McGinnis : Then why?

  Bruce Wayne : I had no right to force this life on you or anyone else.

  Terry McGinnis : Hey, I was the one who broke in and swiped the suit, remember? Yes, there was my Dad's murder, but we come from two different worlds, Mr. Wayne. I wasn't like you or the kids you took in. I was a pretty bad kid once, ran with a tough crowd, broke a lot of laws, to say nothing of my folks' hearts. The kind of punk you wouldn't have wasted a second punch on back in the day.

  Bruce Wayne : Your point?

  Terry McGinnis : I'm trying to make up for past sins. The state says my three months in juvie wiped me clean, but my soul tells me different. Every time I put on that suit, it's my chance to help people who are in trouble. I guess, on a personal level, it's a chance to look like a worthwhile human being again; in my eyes, if no one else's. It's what I want, Bruce.

  Bruce Wayne : Stupid kid. You don't know what you want. None of you ever did.

• Bruce Wayne : You okay?

  Terry McGinnis : You know the Jokerz are goin' in for splicing now? Crazy hyena boy nearly took a bite out of me. No way I could have explained that to Dana.

  Bruce Wayne : You're not going out now?

  Terry McGinnis : The night is young and so am I.

  Bruce Wayne : I think a good night's rest might be more beneficial.

  Terry McGinnis : Like you said, who sleeps anymore?

• Bruce Wayne : How did it go with the Jokerz?

  Terry McGinnis : I broke up the robbery, but it was weird. Third time this month that particular gang was trying to intercept high-tech machinery. Jokerz don't use that stuff.

  Bruce Wayne : They're probably fencing it. Corporate espionage is big business.

  Terry McGinnis : I may as well sit tight until I can get another shot at 'em.

• Bruce Wayne : Leave a message.

  Terry McGinnis : Hey, the Joker's little playmates were after me tonight. Me! Not Batman. This whole thing stinks, Wayne, and you know why. I need some straight answers from...

  [realizing] 

  Terry McGinnis : Wait. It's night. Where does he go?

• Terry McGinnis : I know what you're thinking. I messed up. I let the clown go in order to save those people.

  Bruce Wayne : You did the right thing.

  Terry McGinnis : So... the Joker, huh? Looks pretty spry for a guy who's gotta be, what, mid-80s? Any theories on that? Clone? Robot? Suspended animation after being found frozen in a block of ice?

  Bruce Wayne : Shut up and drive.

  Terry McGinnis : [realizing from Bruce's tone of voice that he has somehow touched a nerve and that the matter is closed, no questions asked]  Yes, sir.

• The Joker : You know, Bats, we've been doing this little runaround of ours for years. It's been loads of laughs, but the sad fact is, none of us are getting any younger.

  Harley Quinn : That old clock's a-tickin'.

  The Joker : Quite right, Pooh. And Harley and I were thinking it was time to start a family. Add a Joker Jr. to our merry brood.

  Harley Quinn : But rather than go through all the joy of childbirth, we decided to adopt.

  The Joker : We couldn't do it legally, but then we remembered you always had a few spare kids hanging around... so we borrowed one.

  Batman : [they draw the curtain open]  No.

  Batgirl : [looking out from her hiding place]  My God.

  The Joker : He needed a little molding, of course. What kid doesn't? But in time, we came to love him as our own. Say hello, J.J.

  [Robin, dressed as a minature version of the Joker, giggles hysterically] 

• Jordan Price : You! Where's Amy?

  Dee Dee : Missed the boat, I'm afraid!

  [Price looks out the window and sees Amy bound to a pole] 

  Jordan Price : Turn the yacht around!

  Chucko : Detox, boss man. We're here to talk business.

  Ghoul : We'll be quick. Woof gets seasick easy.

  [Woof walks in front of Ghoul, looking nauseous] 

  Jordan Price : Our business is concluded.

  [Batman flies to the window of the yacht and puts his finger on it to listen in] 

  Jordan Price : I gave you the security codes so you could ransack the lab while those bunglers tried to kill Wayne.

  Chucko : Word is Wayne's terminal anyhow.

  Dee Dee : That means you get to stay top dog.

  Dee Dee : And everyone's happy.

  Jordan Price : So why are you here?

  Chucko : The big guy who put us all in contact has decided you're a loose end.

  Ghoul : And loose ends should be tied up.

  Ghoul : [Jordan Price, seeing that they want to kill him, heads for the door, Woof gets in the way and sends Jordan Price to the opposite wall with a jump kick. Ghoul then handcuffs him to a table] 

  [through an intercom] 

  Ghoul : Got him!

  The Joker : Then amscray pronto, kiddies.

  [pushes a button on a control panel and you see a 30-second timer show on the panel] 

  The Joker : Things are going to start popping.

  Chucko : Let's go!

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : [Batman breaks in through a window]  No one's leaving until I get answers.

  Chucko : [Ghoul breaks open another window with his pumpkin. Woof growls and prepares to attack, but Chucko stops him by giving him a light tug on the ear]  No, you idiot, not now!

  [they all jump out the window with Batman peering out and seeing them leaving on hover cars; he is about to chase them when he sees a blue light appear from above. He runs back into the room] 

  Jordan Price : They're getting away!

  [Batman breaks the handcuffs] 

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : Yeah, and I think they've got a good reason!

• Bruce Wayne : Terry, I've been thinking about something you once told me, and you were wrong. It's not Batman that makes you worthwhile, it's the other way around. Never tell yourself anything different.

• [Woof confronts Batman, cackling] 

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : Ace?

  [Ace rears out of the Batmobile, growling, and pounces on Woof, biting and clawing. Woof retreats in terror] 

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : Good bad dog.

• Ms. Carr : Today, Gotham billionaire Bruce Wayne stunned the financial world with his plans to resume active leadership of Wayne Enterprises. While shareholders have generally welcomed Wayne's return, support from some key members of the Wayne board has been oddly lukewarm. Company operations manager Jordan Price offered this comment.

  Jordan Price : I, of course, join the rest of our Wayne Enterprises family in welcoming back our most valuable senior resource, Bruce Wayne. I'm sure we'll all profit from his years of experience. Still, the day-to-day rigors of running of a vast, multinational conglomerate would be stressful even for a young man. I hope Mr. Wayne is up to the challenge.

  Terry McGinnis : [watching on TV]  He's not bitter. Much.

  Bruce Wayne : Price was next in line for the top spot. My return torpedoed any dreams he had of succession.

  Terry McGinnis : You gonna keep him around?

  Bruce Wayne : If he'll stay on my terms. I've worked long and hard to regain control of my family's company, and I won't hand it over again. Price can either get with that program or start e-mailing his résumé.

  Terry McGinnis : With all the long hours you're planning on putting in at the office, does this mean you'll have less time for...

  Bruce Wayne : [Terry sets his backpack with the Batsuit inside on a chair]  Who sleeps anymore?

• Terry McGinnis : I'm spent. Every lead I had has gone face down and the Joker's still out there. What have you got?

  [Ace whines] 

  Terry McGinnis : I don't know, pup. If I was the Batman I was supposed to be, I'd have cracked this by now. Would've punched exactly the right data into the computer or remembered that one little clue that everyone else overlooked.

  Bruce Wayne : It's rarely that simple.

  Terry McGinnis : [Ace barks happily]  How are you feeling?

  Bruce Wayne : Lousy.

  Terry McGinnis : Gordon told me what happened to Tim Drake.

  Bruce Wayne : That's why I didn't want you going up against the Joker. Impostor or not.

• Bonk : You got a death wish, Bats!

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : And here I thought I was just being a good citizen.

• [while Bonk is choking Terry on the top of a speeding glider, Terry looks up and chokes something out] 

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : [choked]  Flag pole.

  Bonk : What did you say?

  Terry McGinnis/Batman : [clearly]  Flag pole.

  [Bonk looks up and yells, just in time to get scraped off the glider's roof by a flag pole]