- [Duke examines the Duke Nukem II arcade machine]
- Duke Nukem: Hmm, don't have time to play with myself.
- Duke Nukem: [Nintendo 64 version only]
- [after entering a secret area and finding Snake from Escape from L.A. dead, torn in half, and hanging on chains]
- Duke Nukem: I guess he didn't escape from L.A.
- Duke Nukem: My name's Duke Nukem. After some few days of R&R, I'll be ready for some more action!
- Woman: Aww, come back to bed, Duke! I have ready for some action, nowww!
- Duke Nukem: [upon seeing an Assault Trooper blowing up after it crosses an activated Laser Tripbomb] Blow it out your ass!
- Duke Nukem: [sometimes says it after an alien squishes itself when passing through a wall] Eat shit and die!
- Tape Recorder: This tape will self-destruct in 1 second!
- [explodes]
- Duke Nukem: [after seeing an ID4 spaceship hovering over Duke Burger on a screen] Nobody jacks with our Independence!
- Boss 1: Who... the... hell... are you?
- [Duke shoots the boss's head and kills him]
- Duke Nukem: I'm Duke Nukem. And I'm coming to get the rest of you alien bastards!