Shakespeare in... and Out (1999)

Lawrence Trilling: Harold Asailian Jr

Quotes 

• Harold Asailian Jr : Carmichael Astune's greatest triumph as a director came at the helm of such period epics as, "Spartacum" and "Pilgrim Poontang."

• Rod Blank : Capturing the essence of the culture you're doing is extremely important. For example, French passion my go something like this, "ohhhhh"; where as in Germany, it's like this, "ohhhhh".

  Harold Asailian, Jr. : So then sub-titles would be out of the question?

  Rod Blank : Lovemaking is an international language. It doesn't need sub-titles!

• Lee Fernandez : Right now we're working on something that's selling like hotcakes. It's called, "America's Homemade Sex Videos."

  Harold Asailian, Jr. : What's that?

  Lee Fernandez : They're amateur sex movies that are made at home by everyday people on their home video cameras. They're very popular.

  Harold Asailian, Jr. : Didn't you say they were supposed to be made by amateurs... by average people?

  Lee Fernandez : Who'll know the difference? Besides, we're average people, too. It'll look very realistic. Nobody will know the difference.

• Harold Asailian, Jr. : Lucy said this might be your last film for awhile. How come?

  Misty Flavors : I'm going to have a baby!

  Harold Asailian, Jr. : Really? Congratulations!

  Misty Flavors : This time I'm going to keep.

  Mike : So which one of the actors got you pregnant!

  Misty Flavors : What?

  Mike : Which one of the studs is going to be a dad?

  Misty Flavors : Shut up, you asshole! What I do on the set is work. This child is a result of love.

• Harold Asailian, Jr. : My father was temporarily called away to work on a project for the National Geographic, where, in Mozambique, he was trampled to death by a herd of migrating wildebeest.

• Harold Asailian, Jr. : When we first met, you told me you had a "career plan". Could you talk about that now?

  Rich Longfellow : Sure. I figure I'll do a couple more adult videos. Then I'll do some major movies here in Hollywood. Then I figure in about six months, Shakespeare at the Old Globe in London, England!

• Harold Asailian, Jr. : Rich landed the lead in Hamlet, and the company was soon touring the senior citizen recreation centers throughout the greater San Fernando Valley.